Huge wedding problem :(

POPPYOSCAR

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Interesting

It would take a ballsy-er person than me to show up knowing I wasn't wanted[/QUOT


Yes and what would be the point exactly?

Kynthia

OP, as so many are saying how they think your wife is feeling I'll say how I think I'd react.

As hurt as I'd be I would not want to cause more drama, gossip or bad-feeling by having you decline at such short notice. Most importantly though I wouldn't want you to feel so torn and upset as it's not your fault. So I would insist you still go and while I might appreciate your offer of declining in solidarity with me I would really prefer you to go.

However I would be very angry at your best friend for contributing to this whole mess and upset, and might take time to forgive him. I don't even know if him apologising in person would help unless he acknowledged that he'd do things different if he could do it all again.

I hope your wife gets over the hurt soon. It hurts when someone you cared about so much treats you cruelly, and a best friend breakup is painful.

Gavin83

I'm genuinely surprised at some of the responses here. I guess you could argue the bride should suck it up for her husband to be but I honestly don't think she's done much wrong here.

Maybe the best friend should have been more honest and said she doesn't want her there rather than pretend it was for numbers. However, as many have pointed out (and ignored the one sided nature of it) a husband should support his wife before his friend so you can't really blame him for this.

olgadapolga

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Interesting

It would take a ballsy-er person than me to show up knowing I wasn't wanted

Yes and what would be the point exactly?

To [STRIKE]spoil[/STRIKE] enhance the wedding photos?

POPPYOSCAR

olgadapolga wrote: »

To [STRIKE]spoil[/STRIKE] enhance the wedding photos?

Ha ha!

I hope the Op lets us know what happens after the event.

POPPYOSCAR

Kynthia wrote: »

OP, as so many are saying how they think your wife is feeling I'll say how I think I'd react.

As hurt as I'd be I would not want to cause more drama, gossip or bad-feeling by having you decline at such short notice. Most importantly though I wouldn't want you to feel so torn and upset as it's not your fault. So I would insist you still go and while I might appreciate your offer of declining in solidarity with me I would really prefer you to go.

However I would be very angry at your best friend for contributing to this whole mess and upset, and might take time to forgive him. I don't even know if him apologising in person would help unless he acknowledged that he'd do things different if he could do it all again.

I hope your wife gets over the hurt soon. It hurts when someone you cared about so much treats you cruelly, and a best friend breakup is painful.

We do not need to think how she is feeling we know , as the OP has said that when she woke up next day she was very upset and not saying anything.

Kynthia

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

We do not need to think how she is feeling we know , as the OP has said that when she woke up next day she was very upset and not saying anything.

It hasn't stopped many deciding she'll never forgive the OP if he attends the wedding.

Tabbytabitha

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Yes I agree

I would never wear white myself. but I think cream is acceptable and have seen many Mothers of the Bride and Groom wearing it.

I think that the point is not to be wearing the same colour as the bride, so cream's fine if the bride's in white.

JCS1

https://www.her.ie/amp/wedding/brides-list-of-wedding-day-regulations-is-the-most-bizarre-thing-you-will-see-all-year-426155

annandale

So if your wife isn't putting pressure on you as you indicated earlier then why did you call it a huge wedding problem.

She's said she's happy for you to go with or without her.

What is the issue? You feel bad for going and leaving her at home while you go to the wedding?

I assume that you will know people there who might wonder why she isn't there.

Just as a ps. The groom who you think so highly of. It's his wedding as well. What did he think about the decision to leave your wife out or did he have no say in the matter? Is he happy about this decision.