Caught up in a fight over money

savvy

Pixie5740 wrote: »

If it had cost Aida money to dispose of her static caravan would the 20% have chipped in to help cover the costs? Unlikely.

Stoke wrote: »

Money makes people do very strange (and sometimes terrible) things. It sounds to me like Aida has done everything right and more than many people in her situation would have (considering you wrote off the money).

Kayalana99 wrote: »

I agree, if you had given her the deposit for a house, and she then sold that house later down the line you'd not have expected a cut of the house rise surely? What difference does it make if she has 'won the lotto' with the money given?

It sounds like she has been lovely to return the money + a gift, and I'm sure in the same situation she would have helped the family out - which by sound of it they don't 'need' right now.

Just WOW! :eek::eek: Basically I think you should show them all the above comments as these are made by sensible and rational people!!Quite frankly there are a whole host of posts on this site where much worse happened, people have lent money with a view to it returning, and it hasn't. Your family should feel VERY fortunate that Aida paid all the money back and a little more!!!! I wish that would happen to me :(:(:( Also, if they are struggling........well they've just had a nice unexpected windfall to help them out, (again, I'd love that!), sheesh some people can be ungrateful and greedy hey!! Heck, even show them my comment too :beer:

getmore4less

happyandcontented wrote: »

The OP doesn't explain it that way though.

They can explain it any way they want that does not change the facts

They needed to borrow to enable the money to be available.

The total cost of that money includes any interest on the borrowing until it is paid off

The gift included cash+interest whenever they need to borrow fo ever(until the money is paid back).

I have no idea if the OP understood that when they made the gift but that does not matter they made it anyway and they have not been paid back in full not that they wanted it anyway.

I am explaining the fiscal arrangement of the transaction.
Many don't get,
if your debt(all) exceeds your "savings" you have borrowed your savings.
if you have/get debt and give money away you are borrowing the gifts.

Anoneemoose

getmore4less wrote: »

They can explain it any way they want that does not change the facts

They needed to borrow to enable the money to be available.

The total cost of that money includes any interest on the borrowing until it is paid off

The gift included cash+interest whenever they need to borrow fo ever(until the money is paid back).

I have no idea if the OP understood that when they made the gift but that does not matter they made it anyway and they have not been paid back in full not that they wanted it anyway.

I am explaining the fiscal arrangement of the transaction.
Many don't get,
if your debt(all) exceeds your "savings" you have borrowed your savings.
if you have/get debt and give money away you are borrowing the gifts.

As I said earlier, this is all moot though because OP GIFTED the money, not expecting or thinking she was guaranteed to be paid back.

So, yes, she will be spending more in the long run than if she’d never gifted but this was never a concern for her.

Elinore

So the wedding is this coming weekend and i remain persona non grata.

However I got a snarky* card with a link to the registry delivered this morning

* snarky as in - we are sorry you can't make it but you may still wish to gift something to the bride and groom in your absence to show your good wishes and participate in the day.

They then reference that they have their heart set of a particular collection and the full set would be a dream come true (just so happens the final unpurchased piece is very expensive over £200!)

I will admit I did dither over whether just to get the foolish thing and potentially mend things - but knowing them they would still be mad at me and i would still be boxed out but £200 worse off....So I mailed them a card with £50 love to shop vouchers (regifted):rotfl:

I feel that i will remain persona non grata for some while - even my mother is not talking to me because the 20 percenters have been bending her ear. Though this actually is a blessing is disguise as my mother.... well, that's a whole other thread.

Pollycat

Elinore wrote: »

So the wedding is this coming weekend and i remain persona non grata.

However I got a snarky* card with a link to the registry delivered this morning

* snarky as in - we are sorry you can't make it but you may still wish to gift something to the bride and groom in your absence to show your good wishes and participate in the day.

They then reference that they have their heart set of a particular collection and the full set would be a dream come true (just so happens the final unpurchased piece is very expensive over £200!)

I will admit I did dither over whether just to get the foolish thing and potentially mend things - but knowing them they would still be mad at me and i would still be boxed out but £200 worse off....So I mailed them a card with £50 love to shop vouchers (regifted):rotfl:

I feel that i will remain persona non grata for some while - even my mother is not talking to me because the 20 percenters have been bending her ear. Though this actually is a blessing is disguise as my mother.... well, that's a whole other thread.

Such childish behaviour, you're better off out of it.

Pixie5740

That is some brass neck - uninvite you from the wedding and then send you the gift list. :rotfl:

The £50 of Love to Shop vouchers is better than a regifted, out of date, chocolate orange.

Elinore

I stand corrected.

The same card was sent to everyone that advised they couldn't attend. So i will get down off my high horse now lol

One of my cousins mentioned she got a card, shes off to uni so couldn't make the date. (We were not calling to gossip she's stopping here as a way point while moving to uni - took the furthest uni she could from the family, clever girl lol)

Mojisola

Elinore wrote: »

The same card was sent to everyone that advised they couldn't attend. So i will get down off my high horse now lol

But you didn't decline the invitation - you were 'uninvited'.

It may just have been an admin error but maybe they thought you would feel embarrassed by the whole thing and cough up for a more expensive present as a result.

Pollycat

Mojisola wrote: »

But you didn't decline the invitation - you were 'uninvited'.

Yes. Two very different things.

Elinore

Being fair i doubt they have a 'coming' 'not coming' 'cold shoulder' set of lists

As such I will have been punted into the not coming list, hence the generic catch all card.

My cousin did say they have respectfully requested no vouchers unless its for the store the registry is at- and prior to this request being passed around the family she'd sent them some short dated house of fraser ones (also £50 also regifted lol).... between hers and mine i think we will have irritated them a little.

:rotfl: