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Caught up in a fight over money

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  • Elinore
    Elinore Posts: 259 Forumite
    edited 20 August 2018 at 12:32PM
    We had just had yet another house purchase fall through. The money was in an account and we didn't have to loan any or take any back off a mortgage. We had become very disenchanted with the whole thing.


    We realised we were not going to buy for several years and were rapidly being priced out. It was better went to someone to use, than languish unfulfilled in a bank account gathering dust. We just kept on saving and when our lovely house was bought we used the savings we had at that point.


    So to clarify we didn't go into debt for this. It wasn't a big deal, the money was there - she needed it and she would do the same for me in a heart beat (I did mention that she's an awesome person, right :) )


    I am not going to forewarn Aida - that's making trouble when there may not be any. Its not my place to mind other behaviour for them nor will I.

    Also she would absolutely hate being referred to as Jennifer is so just not her - so please stop I don't know why I find it jarring, but it really is.
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,757 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    warby68 wrote: »
    What sort of person of mature years takes back an invitation? I hope you can find it comical in time OP.

    So if you fell out with someone invited to your wedding (and assuming it was serious enough that there was no chance of mending the relationship) you'd still want them at your wedding? There's no chance I'd want such a person at mine. I'd want to be surrounded by my close friends and family, those I care about not someone I've no interest in ever seeing again.
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
    I took that comment to mean that because the OP lent her house deposit to Aida she then had to borrow more from the mortgage company to get her house.

    Exactly the OP had to borrow the money to give away and pay the interest on that borrowed money.


    Early on in the thread the OP said.
    She was delighted she only had basic bills to worry about and always promised to pay everyone back......

    The reality is with only a 5% uplift they have not paid everything back there is a shortfall on the interest paid.

    Just pointing out that they have not been paid back everything.
  • Exactly the OP had to borrow the money to give away and pay the interest on that borrowed money.


    Early on in the thread the OP said.



    The reality is with only a 5% uplift they have not paid everything back there is a shortfall on the interest paid.

    Just pointing out that they have not been paid back everything.

    The OP clarified that she didn't borrow any additional monies for her house purchase as by the time they had found a house they had saved enough for the relevant deposit.
  • warby68
    warby68 Posts: 3,135 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Gavin83 wrote: »
    So if you fell out with someone invited to your wedding (and assuming it was serious enough that there was no chance of mending the relationship) you'd still want them at your wedding? There's no chance I'd want such a person at mine. I'd want to be surrounded by my close friends and family, those I care about not someone I've no interest in ever seeing again.

    Of course but that isn't the case here - these are lifelong connections with someone trying emotional and other forms of blackmail to get their own way. OP has already said they like creating drama.

    If anything, OP has more reason to disinvite herself than the bride and groom.
  • Anoneemoose
    Anoneemoose Posts: 2,270 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Exactly the OP had to borrow the money to give away and pay the interest on that borrowed money.


    Early on in the thread the OP said.



    The reality is with only a 5% uplift they have not paid everything back there is a shortfall on the interest paid.

    Just pointing out that they have not been paid back everything.


    She said she promised to pay everyone back, but that she (Ellinore) wasn!!!8217;t expecting it or didn!!!8217;t care if she did. She looked upon this as a gift to Aida, therefore interest rates and things are irrelevant.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,788 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Gavin83 wrote: »
    So if you fell out with someone invited to your wedding (and assuming it was serious enough that there was no chance of mending the relationship) you'd still want them at your wedding? There's no chance I'd want such a person at mine. I'd want to be surrounded by my close friends and family, those I care about not someone I've no interest in ever seeing again.
    The OP's relative is trying to blackmail her into doing something she doesn't want to do.
    The person getting married sounds petty in the extreme.
    There's no chance I'd want to attend the wedding of such a petty, spiteful person.
    If I were the OP, I think I'd be pretty happy never to have anything to do with the bride-and-groom-to-be again.
    But that's up to the OP.
    I feel that there's a high chance that the OP will be re-invited to the wedding once it's obvious that rescinding the invitation hasn't produced the desired and expected results.
  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
    The OP clarified that she didn't borrow any additional monies for her house purchase as by the time they had found a house they had saved enough for the relevant deposit.

    They had to borrow more than they would have done,

    This is very basic finance.
  • iammumtoone
    iammumtoone Posts: 6,377 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    edited 20 August 2018 at 5:20PM
    I view this differently to others.

    I think it depends who who found the caravan plot. If the OP found it and suggested Aida moved in then morally I think they do deserve some more of the profit that it generated.

    However if Aida found it herself and the OP offered to stump up the cash she deserves the windfall from such a good find/purchase (even though no one could have predicted that at the time)

    If I were the OP I still wouldn't cause a fuss or say anything as they did get their unexpected money back and family is far more important than to fall out over money, its still good someone has benefited, I would not begrudge them, but I do feel the person who had the idea to buy the plot in the first place should benefit from the profit.

    The 20% who I doubt had anything to do with the original locating/purchase certainly don't deserve anything further.
  • They had to borrow more than they would have done,

    This is very basic finance.

    The OP doesn't explain it that way though.
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