Caught up in a fight over money

DrivingMissDaisy

I'm sorry but I don't like the name suggested by OP, so going with the one that I like

buildersdaughter

People who hang around on this board tend to be savvy about money, so thinking about things like 'interest' and 'profit share' come more naturally to them. Some people don't have that on their radar and I suspect Aida of being one of those.
Many years ago, my siblings and I inherited a property, co-incidentally just where I was moving for a year's work. It honestly never occurred to me to offer them 'rent' (until I read on this board that is usual) and my only defence is that I wouldn't have asked for any from one of them! I did in fact spruce up the property at my expense, arrange the sale at the end of my time there, and paid all fees, so it probably evened out - but my point remains that some things just don't occur to some people.

Pollycat

happyandcontented wrote: »

No, I don't agree. IMO life is too short, that is my experience of this kind of issue in other families, that from 'petty' things huge, sometimes insurmountable, mountains grow.

My own family dynamic is that we talk it out and get through it.

This a petty issue but if stubbornness reigns on both sides then it will become a serious rift.

Each to their own, however.

It's a shame that the grasping relatives don't have the same opinion, don't you think?



Some relatives are worth talking it out and getting through it, others - in my own personal experience - have caused far too much trouble throughout the whole family for it not to be worth the effort.

moneyistooshorttomention

buildersdaughter wrote: »

People who hang around on this board tend to be savvy about money, so thinking about things like 'interest' and 'profit share' come more naturally to them. Some people don't have that on their radar and I suspect Aida of being one of those.
Many years ago, my siblings and I inherited a property, co-incidentally just where I was moving for a year's work. It honestly never occurred to me to offer them 'rent' (until I read on this board that is usual) and my only defence is that I wouldn't have asked for any from one of them! I did in fact spruce up the property at my expense, arrange the sale at the end of my time there, and paid all fees, so it probably evened out - but my point remains that some things just don't occur to some people.

I think you may well be right on this one and it sounds like, in your own case, it did all even out in the end one way or another.

Hence my comment that there always seems to be two sets of assumptions about how things are in any given set of circumstances and it usually never occurs to the person with Set of Assumptions A that there are also a Set of Assumptions B about things.

Never assume someone else will do what you personally would do - as they may have a different value system. That doesnt necessarily mean either your or their value system is wrong - they may just be different.

happyandcontented

Pollycat wrote: »

It's a shame that the grasping relatives don't have the same opinion, don't you think?



Some relatives are worth talking it out and getting through it, others - in my own personal experience - have caused far too much trouble throughout the whole family for it not to be worth the effort.

I think it is a shame everyone doesn't have this opinion, the world would be a nicer place. However, it has to start with someone in any scenario.

happyandcontented

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Now wondering at a poster giving a different name than Aida......:cool:

Perhaps it is a relative of the OP who has recognised the scenario!

lewishardwick

You take out a £100k mortgage on a property worth £200k.

5 years later you sell for £400k. You pay off mortgage and live debt free.

Mortgage want more than they lent you back. Fair? Of course not. You get back what you lent. If people were than concerned they should have agreed to 'terms'.

Oh well. They all got their money back. Everyone should be happy her life has taken a positive turn.

Pollycat

lewishardwick wrote: »

You take out a £100k mortgage on a property worth £200k.

5 years later you sell for £400k. You pay off mortgage and live debt free.

Mortgage want more than they lent you back. Fair? Of course not. You get back what you lent. If people were than concerned they should have agreed to 'terms'.

Oh well. They all got their money back. Everyone should be happy her life has taken a positive turn.

One would think so.
But clearly they are not.
All this over £7500 split between 6 people.

Elinore wrote: »

To be fair no one is being mean about or to her - The 20 percenters just feel it's rather unjust. There is no one more passionate and focused than someone that thinks they are due money.

But one member of your family has been mean enough to you to rescind a wedding invitation. :cool:
Even though it's done you a favour.

moneyistooshorttomention

happyandcontented wrote: »

Perhaps it is a relative of the OP who has recognised the scenario!

Either that or likes stirring....

Anoneemoose

It’s awful to think that people are being so awful to Ellinore because of something that was supposed to have been a good gesture. And for such relatively small amounts.

I think it’s wonderful that there was help available for Aida in the first place and that she was able to rebuild her life because of it. To me, that’s what family and friends do for each other. Obviously not everyone can contribute financially but support can take many forms.

I really do think money brings out the worst in some people. My SIL is constantly referring to ‘with how much you earn’ to my husband. And ‘with your posh car’ (he has a Jaguar as a company car which worked out around £40 per month more expensive than our Mondeo when we took into account the loan we were repaying as well as saving for tax/breakdown/MOT/maintenance etc). There are many other little ‘digs’ similar to this too. For the record, my husband does not earn a massive wage and I don’t work due to illness (although receive some help through disability), so it’s all relative really and we don’t flash it about or anything.

Sorry, I digressed..well done Ellinore for helping and it’s wonderful that your help was repaid, even though you weren’t expecting it. I truly believe in wht goes around comes around.