Caught up in a fight over money

Elinore

Ha! just had a laugh out loud moment. Received a text from one of the other contributors


'well its alright for you, you got so much more than us'


My fingers are twitching to reply - Yes, because that's how percentages work - I gave more, I get more back. You gave a little, you got a little back - its relative! I didn't 'get more' than you.

Primrose

I know you are itching to reply and it's a huge temptation to score points - anybody would want to answer back and refute any allegations in these circumstances but honestly it you stay silent you will keep on the moral high ground. And in your own way your silence and refusal to engage may have even more of an effect than whatever reply you might decide to send because they will have no ammunition to fuel the fire of their resentment.
Which is possibly what they're looking for at the moment to let off steam.

buildersdaughter

I would broadly agree that you should keep out of it. However, I would just think a bit about the relationships, as I'm unclear as to whether you (singular) are the 80% and some of your family the 20%; or if you & your family are the 80% and some others are the 20%.

If your family are close (sounds as if you have been)and you know that some of them are struggling (what exactly does that mean?) AND if Aida is unaware of that, then you could consider letting her know. You sound as if you are close to her. However, if you feel it would only stir the pot, then I wouldn't.

I am reminded of the old saying that no good deed goes unpunished, and I do think this was a tremendous good deed you did. I'm not sure that I would have written off a hard saved house deposit.

Elinore

To clarify - 'we' my OH and I paid 80 percent of the total cost (we just didn't have enough saved up to pay the full amount)

6 other family members all chipped in varying amounts to make up the remaining 20 percent. (some i am closer to than others. It happens the one stirring the pot is one of my aunts that I have a very cool relationship with)

I strongly feel that it's not for me to be telling Aida that people are 'not so flush'/struggling - thats for them to do if they are so passionate about it.

ps Aida is totally oblivious this ruckus is going on, not one of them have said a peep to her.

Primrose

Elinore wrote: »

To clarify - 'we' my OH and I paid 80 percent of the total cost (we just didn't have enough saved up to pay the full amount)

6 other family members all chipped in varying amounts to make up the remaining 20 percent. (some i am closer to than others. It happens the one stirring the pot is one of my aunts that I have a very cool relationship with)

I strongly feel that it's not for me to be telling Aida that people are 'not so flush'/struggling - thats for them to do if they are so passionate about it.

ps Aida is totally oblivious this ruckus is going on, not one of them have said a peep to her.

Well your aunt has now married and is happy. Lets hope everybody has the decency to let it stay that way, especially the one who is causing the ruckus. Perhaps she's just jealous of somebody else's good fortune. As a very small contributor to this sponsorsorship it sounds very much like a resentful tail is trying to wag the dog !

maman

I'd just do the 'broken record' technique if they keep asking your opinion. Better still just ignore them if you can. Don't reply to the texts.


It was a gift, she's chosen to repay not an investment where they could expect a bonus payment.


To be honest, when I started reading I thought you were going to say that it had depreciated in value and was now uninhabitable and she was coming back for more or couldn't afford to live there because of increased service charges on the site. That's what's more usual with static caravans. She's a lucky lady, be happy for her.:)

System

Primrose wrote: »

I know you are itching to reply and it's a huge temptation to score points - anybody would want to answer back and refute any allegations in these circumstances but honestly it you stay silent you will keep on the moral high ground. And in your own way your silence and refusal to engage may have even more of an effect than whatever reply you might decide to send because they will have no ammunition to fuel the fire of their resentment.
Which is possibly what they're looking for at the moment to let off steam.

Agree with this. He/She who cares less, wins. Don't get dragged into it...silence is golden

happyandcontented

Emmel wrote: »

Who paid for all the works done to the caravan? Did she ask you and the 20% help finance this?

Its perhaps been valued at a good price due to plot and the condition she has kept it in too. Being honest, I would have been overjoyed to have the money I had written off, she obviously didnt think it would be an issue, thats why she has been honest and told yoh

I agree with this, if the caravan had been allowed to deteriorate then it would have been removed from the site so your relative has put in the 'added value' that allowed it to remain in situ and is now reaping the rewards.

I think she was probably naive to mention it but obviously thought that it wasn't an issue. Which it shouldn't be.

Fireflyaway

I'd simply ignore them. It's just greed and jealousy. You did a really lovely thing by the way. This country has a lot of opportunities. If you want to improve your situation most people can. If you have more money than your family there is probably a reason for that. Funny how people switch when money comes into play. We fell out over money with my husband's brother. He said really nasty stuff and we haven't spoken in 3 years. I'm happy I found out his true colors though.

Elinore

Why is it people choose to misdirect their irritation? I didn't profit, i didn't tell anyone that i made a nice sum of money and i didn't decide who gets what....

However I have, as of this morning, been disinvited to a family wedding. (note - Aida has not been disinvited!)

Now, I'm not that bothered to be fair but as a study in human reaction it just shows how odd people can be.

Ps it's also money saving as the present list was min £50pp as well as the general cost of travel and drinks - bonus! lol

Sigh.