Caught up in a fight over money

happyandcontented

In your shoes, I would want to nip this in the bud and try to be the one who tries to make everyone see sense. I would arrange a meeting for all concerned and talk frankly about this issue. I would also really consider asking Aida to the meeting, as her presence might cause them to have pause for thought.

Allowed to fester and family relations will be soured forever which would be a shame, but of course, you may not feel like doing that as none of this is of your making and has arisen because you were a generous benefactor to Aida.

moneyistooshorttomention

To me - I'd regard a reasonable rate of interest - but no "profit" to be fair as what "should" be repaid. You say the money was loaned a "few" years ago - so, if I were Aida I'd be thinking along the lines of say:

- a "normal" rate of interest (not 2018 virtually non-existent levels) so, say 4% pa interest
- then compound that up as if £100 was owed in Year 1, then its £104 in Year 2 and the interest calculation for Year 3 would be 4% of £104 and so on.

How many years are we talking about (3/5/10/20?).

How much money are we actually talking about for the other people involved? I can't imagine a proportion of 20% on a static caravan would be that much money - but it might help if we had some sort of idea of the figures involved. Are we talking hundreds of £s, thousands of £s, 5 figure amount of £s?

So - basically yes....I think it's fair enough to go along with what Aida herself decides re the "profit" from that developer and sigh/but accept it if she keeps all the profit. I know I offered someone (my parents) a "business opportunity" to share with me some years back and we'd split the profits I knew would happen 50/50. They didnt agree with me and I just borrowed the money from a bank instead of them - and then the profits were mine to keep in the event and I did. So I would have shared the profits in her circumstances (as its people she knows personally helping her out). But I wouldnt think it worth arguing/falling out about if she decided to keep all the profits herself.

But it does seem fair for her to pay a "normal" rate of interest on the loans.

Primrose

Well maybe if Aida turns up to the wedding, or you mention to her that you,ve not been 8nvited she may start asking questi9ns of her own and she may draw her own conclusion.

It's a shame other members of your family are being so petty over this issue. All you can do is steer clear of arguments and use their behaviour as a warning lesson for potential Money transitions within the family for the future.

Pollycat

Primrose wrote: »

Well maybe if Aida turns up to the wedding, or you mention to her that you,ve not been 8nvited she may start asking questi9ns of her own and she may draw her own conclusion.

It's a shame other members of your family are being so petty over this issue. All you can do is steer clear of arguments and use their behaviour as a warning lesson for potential Money transitions within the family for the future.

Yes. Very petty.

To not invite you is one thing but to invite you then take that invite back is pretty despicable.

They are just using that invite as a way to try to make you do what they want.
I'd view these people as not worth bothering with.


I would only take this advice

happyandcontented wrote: »

In your shoes, I would want to nip this in the bud and try to be the one who tries to make everyone see sense. I would arrange a meeting for all concerned and talk frankly about this issue. I would also really consider asking Aida to the meeting, as her presence might cause them to have pause for thought.

Allowed to fester and family relations will be soured forever which would be a shame, but of course, you may not feel like doing that as none of this is of your making and has arisen because you were a generous benefactor to Aida.

if you want the hassle.

I'd personally consider being uninvited to a wedding simply because I won't do what someone else wants as a soured relationship anyway.
I do agree that this is not of your making.

PasturesNew

She's done the right thing. She's turned her life around, kept the place tidy - and when she's sold she's given back all the money that helped her out when she needed it.

Aida is a star.

The rest of your family .... are an embarrassing rabble.

She did more/better than expected. She's probably now in a position to help out others if they should need it in the future. Her life was transformed.

She remembered where the money came from and paid it back, with a bit extra. Many wouldn't have done that at all! There was no agreement to, there was no legal responsibility to, she just did it "because it's right and fair" and she was eternally grateful.

Aida's a star.

Elinore

I couldn't agree more - Aida is one of my favorite people. smart, funny, joyful, caring and has time for everyone. Her heart is huge.

To answer moneys to short's question. seven years and £30K plus fees - was my contribution (extra given back by Aida on top of this was about 5% of total) not that I feel the costs actually change the outcome.

honestly i don't care re the wedding we live 'down south' the family and my mother live 'up north' so we are removed from them anyway = so actually it's so much less hassle and I get some annual leave days back

Pollycat

Elinore wrote: »

honestly i don't care re the wedding we live 'down south' the family and my mother live 'up north' so we are removed from them anyway = so actually it's so much less hassle and I get some annual leave days back

I wouldn't be surprised if you get re-invited to the wedding once they realise that their attempt to coerce you has failed.

Would you go?

moneyistooshorttomention

Elinore wrote: »

I couldn't agree more - Aida is one of my favorite people. smart, funny, joyful, caring and has time for everyone. Her heart is huge.

To answer moneys to short's question. seven years and £30K plus fees - was my contribution (extra given back by Aida on top of this was about 5% of total) not that I feel the costs actually change the outcome.

honestly i don't care re the wedding we live 'down south' the family and my mother live 'up north' so we are removed from them anyway = so actually it's so much less hassle and I get some annual leave days back

So I guess that means the others lent £7.5K between them then - so it's not a vast amount and therefore the difference between 5% interest and "normal level of interest" isnt going to represent that much money. I guess that makes it explicable why they are after a share of the profit then - but it's still not something worth falling out about imo.

Having said that - I think it would be fair to just tell Aida the facts/make no comments on said facts or anyone's personal opinions (yours or theirs) - and then leave the ball in her court as to what she decides to do.

I can see why they think you are "setting the tone" as to how things are in the circumstances (as you lent the lions share of the money) - but I guess all you or they can do is "sigh and accept it" re no share of profit (though some of us would have paid that in those circumstances) and a lower-than-normal-level-of-interest paid if Aida decides to leave things as they are.

Mojisola

Elinore wrote: »

However I have, as of this morning, been disinvited to a family wedding. (note - Aida had not been disinvited!)

Poor Aida - I hope they're not all going to gang up on her at wedding and make her feel awful for not offering them more money.

Elinore

Pollycat wrote: »

I wouldn't be surprised if you get re-invited to the wedding once they realise that their attempt to coerce you has failed.

Would you go?

Ummm not sure. If I stay away after being reinvited ill look like I am snubbing them after an olive branch.

But, i wasn't all that keen to go in the first place so its a great way to get out of it and all the extra expense.

For those thinking expense? you have a nice cheque! it will be going as a over payment on the mortgage and to pay some outstanding works on the house. No funny money its all gotta work hard :rotfl: