Caught up in a fight over money

Elinore

A canvas of opinion needed as though we have no dog in this fight iit has caused a huge family fall out.

Close family friend, we will call her Aida lived with my grandmother, my mum and aunts growing up. Basically her parents died and she was so close to all the girls she just kind of got absorbed into the dysfunctional wild family and was just treated like she was one of the sisters. She is genuinely a lovely human being and one of my favourite people.

Through absolutely no fault of her own her life imploded several years ago and she was looking at becoming penniless/homeless imminently. Around the same time the family knew we had savings earmarked for a house deposit so appealed to my soft side. A scheme was hatched where we as a collective bought Aida a static caravan in her local village and we chipped in to pay the ground rent and service charge upfront for a few years (we put up 80 percent of the full costs and the rest of the family put in the rest). She was delighted she only had basic bills to worry about and always promised to pay everyone back...... but I basically wrote the money off.

Over the years she spruced up the caravan and turned it from a tin shack in to something quite lovely, landscaped and improved it tenfold being that she has an eye for interior design, trust me it was a thing of beauty inside (after you got over the exterior) She really made it her home.

I had totally forgotten about the whole thing. Then yesterday I got a cheque for the money we paid, the ground rent, fees and a little extra as a thank you. Happy days.

She enclosed a note which was sweet and said how grateful she was and that it had given her breathing room at a stressful time. As she has now remarried and moved in with her new husband the caravan has been sold.

She then then went on to mention, and this is what has caused all the drama, as the park had been sold to a developer, done up and refurbished demand is high for a plot. She had actually made a profit - unheard of on statics, they deprecate and the site request they are changed after 10 years. The profit was five times the value of which we paid. (In hindsight a silly thing to write but I think she just wanted us to know we made a good decision)

As everyone received their cheques and the note on the same day and rather than everyone being delighted at getting a surprise sum of money - there has been a huge backlash as the 20 percent want a cut of the profit made.

I am now totally in the dog house as being the largest share and refusing to go for a cut of the profit they feel it undermines their claim - so they are more angry at ME than Aida lol. Some of the family members themselves are now not so flush so they are arguing that it is her turn to give back as the sum made is not insignificant.

I am rather conflicted as I can see both sides.

Thoughts?

-taff

If you gifted it to her it was hers to do with as she pleased. They have no claim on any profit.


Did they prefer her to be beholden to them? Or did they rather she was the object of their pity rather than someone who managed to make good?

Elinore

That's the thing - we all wrote the money off.

No one ever considered it anymore than just doing what we could to help someone we know and love. Not a single one of the family would have ever considered asking for anything from her.

Right up to the point she made a profit. Soon as she mentioned that the cat was launched into the pigeons. (it's not an insignificant sum which adds fuel to the fire)

I am of the opinion that she did it up and had got lucky with the sale, good on her. My 'stake' has been returned - so that all good.

However everyone else seems to consider her profiting off their kindness and for her to be fair all profit should go back to the original benefactors especaily as they themselves now are struggling.

BrassicWoman

Has anyone asked her opinion, or is everyone sniping behind her back? Does she even know people are struggling?

System

You lend someone a tenner, they put it all on the roulette wheel and win £100, you wouldn't expect £80 back would you? Your family friend as given you back all that she asked for AND more. She has put work into the plot, she has turned her life around and has benefited from the time she spent in a caravan. I think it's disgusting your family want anything more than their original investment plus interest !


And don't be pushed around by the rest of the family...they can go get their 'profit', whilst you take the moral high ground and skim over the top of the dispute.

fibonarchie

Sounds like one of those Money Moral Dilemmas

I'd be happy enough to get the money back (and a bit more), I wouldn't go chasing her for a share of the unexpected profits, that's just greedy.

Pixie5740

If it had cost Aida money to dispose of her static caravan would the 20% have chipped in to help cover the costs? Unlikely.

Stoke

Money makes people do very strange (and sometimes terrible) things. It sounds to me like Aida has done everything right and more than many people in her situation would have (considering you wrote off the money).

Kayalana99

Wish her luck and leave them be, unf they have a bee in their bonnet about this and nothing to be said will change their minds. Money does cause people to go funny.

I agree, if you had given her the deposit for a house, and she then sold that house later down the line you'd not have expected a cut of the house rise surely? What difference does it make if she has 'won the lotto' with the money given?

It sounds like she has been lovely to return the money + a gift, and I'm sure in the same situation she would have helped the family out - which by sound of it they don't 'need' right now.

I'd stay out of it as much as possible, it will calm down eventually even if they seem more mad at you, end day it's the girl they are really mad at and it will blow over - just agree to disagree and don't bother trying to make them see your POV as trust me, they won't.

pickledonionspaceraider

She has paid back what she owes. Unless interest was agreed on before hand, it is like trying to rip the rug out from a loved one, who has had a much needed stroke of luck


Leave it, this has bad Karma written all over it


I would back away from this situation promptly

Marvel1

Elinore wrote: »

That's the thing - we all wrote the money off.
.

Enough said really.