New neighbour noise

need_an_answer

blues wrote: »

I feel for you OP. I've had noisy neighbours before and it drove me insane. I had to move for my sanity-detached house all the way. It's the only solution. Get saving! In the meantime, get some noise cancelling headphones and hope they move out soon.

I agree a noisy neighbour can seem the worse thing in the world,and even a neighbour who just does things at different points in the day to you can seem irritating if it wakes you in the middle of the night etc. (I'm thinking shift workers etc|)

That's why lots of people don't have the constitution for living in flats and apartments so if you don't like noise its a case of as you did move to the detached house away from neighbours.

Although in this case I'm not convinced that the OP has become less tolerant of the noise simply because the family don't fit the same model as were there previously.

LunaLovegood

thorsoak- your little remark about the story getting worse- it's quite difficult to paint a full picture of a situaton in an OP as I'm sure you know.

People have made further comments/asked further questions and so I have provided more detail.

OPs can sometimes have too little or too much detail- I tried to give as clear a picture as I could. Clearly some of it was too much detail- like saying we own, giving that so many of the replies have jumped on that and said I'm being snobby lol even though I rented for years and actually sometimes wish we had stayed renting with the flexibilty it has of moving around when circumstances change.

badmemory

It sounds like there are a couple of issues (theirs not yours). The child has been disrupted by moving home when already distressed about her mother. Children are not stupid, they know when something is wrong & something is very obviously wrong with her mother. The mother may not be well enough to discipline the daughter & the boyfriend may not like to upset either of them by saying enough is enough.

When my new neighbours moved in they had been living with extended family & it was soon obvious that the girl (same age as your new neighbour) was missing the attention. She would scream & scream & neither of them would say enough. I have to confess to feeling like going round & making a pointed comment but I didn't. And don't those screams pierce, it's almost like they are right there in your head not next door.

I was really worried that after over 20 years of really good (=quiet & no trouble) neighbours I was getting the opposite. However, less than a year on I rarely hear a peep. Which is really what this whole post is about. Children, like a lot of adults, don't like change especially as they have no control over that change. Eventually they adjust. But just think how scary it must be to be only 3 years old & know that there is something badly wrong with your only parent, the only person you have known your whole life. It's bad enough when you're in your 50s & 60s.

There are several possible outcomes to this, without your involvement, she starts school & is too tired to play up (as already mentioned), mother completely recovers & normal service is resumed and worse case scenario & this applies even if parenting is still virtually non-existent is that mother dies & the child goes into care.

LunaLovegood

need_an_answer wrote: »

I agree a noisy neighbour can seem the worse thing in the world,and even a neighbour who just does things at different points in the day to you can seem irritating if it wakes you in the middle of the night etc. (I'm thinking shift workers etc|)

That's why lots of people don't have the constitution for living in flats and apartments so if you don't like noise its a case of as you did move to the detached house away from neighbours.

Although in this case I'm not convinced that the OP has become less tolerant of the noise simply because the family don't fit the same model as were there previously.

The reason I mentioned the family that were there previously was because they had a child of the same age, and a newborn and the noise level never bothered us.

I've had all sorts of neighbours from living in student halls, to an apartment block with people on either side and a family of 6 above us, a guy next door to our last rented house that did nightshifts so we were on opposite schedules,, babies, professionals, unemployed, retired, ravers lol everything. But we've never been bothered by any of it. Not once until now because everyone was always as considerate as possible

need_an_answer

LunaLovegood wrote: »

I don't know that it would make a difference if they owned the property- it hadn't crossed my mind.

People seem really fixated on the fact I mentioned we own and they rent. I've tried to clarify several times that I only mentioned that so no one would recommend moving- because we can't.

We are on good terms with the landlord who used to live in the house. He calls in to us every few months to make sure things are ok and asks if the house seems to be getting looked after- we've never had anything negative to say before so maybe that's another reason why I stipulated that they rent, I don't know.

Having grown up with a single mum and seen men take advantage of her yes, I can't help myself being a bit judgemental of this guy. This poor girl is clearly struggling, and doesnt appear to have much of a support network and he doesn't seem to be doing much to help.

But is that a reason to go to your ex neighbour who is now the LL and ask him to intervene?

The fact that you don't know how you would manage the situation if they owned possibly suggests that you would put up with it.

Even if you mentioned it to the LL on his next call to you there is little that he would probably be willing to do in order to evict rent paying tenants.
There may be a clause in their tenancy agreement that deals with noise although as I said before the fact that noise id subjective means that unless it is reported as anti social its unlikely that they would be issued notice to leave just because of what you are experiencing with them.

From the LL's point of view he presumably gets the rental income monthly and whilst that continues for him there is little or no incentive to rock the boat.
If he were to evict or issue notice he will be faced with a void period of no rent and need to pay possible fees to get new tenants.
How ever friendly he was with you in the past the reality is probably that he wouldn't look to loose many hundreds of pounds in trying to find a tenant that is agreeable with you.He will I suspect look at it from the financial/business point of view that his property generates him a modest income each month.

LunaLovegood

badmemory wrote: »

It sounds like there are a couple of issues (theirs not yours). The child has been disrupted by moving home when already distressed about her mother. Children are not stupid, they know when something is wrong & something is very obviously wrong with her mother. The mother may not be well enough to discipline the daughter & the boyfriend may not like to upset either of them by saying enough is enough.

When my new neighbours moved in they had been living with extended family & it was soon obvious that the girl (same age as your new neighbour) was missing the attention. She would scream & scream & neither of them would say enough. I have to confess to feeling like going round & making a pointed comment but I didn't. And don't those screams pierce, it's almost like they are right there in your head not next door.

I was really worried that after over 20 years of really good (=quiet & no trouble) neighbours I was getting the opposite. However, less than a year on I rarely hear a peep. Which is really what this whole post is about. Children, like a lot of adults, don't like change especially as they have no control over that change. Eventually they adjust. But just think how scary it must be to be only 3 years old & know that there is something badly wrong with your only parent, the only person you have known your whole life. It's bad enough when you're in your 50s & 60s.

There are several possible outcomes to this, without your involvement, she starts school & is too tired to play up (as already mentioned), mother completely recovers & normal service is resumed and worse case scenario & this applies even if parenting is still virtually non-existent is that mother dies & the child goes into care.

Thank you for your reply.

I got a little upset reading that last part. I do not want to forget that at the end of all this, is a young mum with a young child, who is very sick. Which is why I'm ranting and raving on here saying all the things going through my mind (maybe even some irrational, not very nice, things) instead of going in and saying something I would later regret and so I do not cause this lady any more aggro.

Maybe I have become too used to having ideal neighbours. As you say the girl has been through a lot and probably is aware her mum is ill and this new man is suddenly in their lives all the time in a new house too. Maybe once nursery/school starts she will calm down a bit.

Obviously I'm wishing nothing but that the mum gets better soon for her little girl. Maybe my own experience of seeing my mum taken advantage of by men makes me judge the guy wrongly, (however I really hand on heart have a gut feeling I'm right about him) but hopefully I am wrong there too.

need_an_answer

Why not try and interact with the family rather than judge them from afar?

You have continually said that the mother has a rough time with her partner (your assumption) so instead of sitting behind your walls chat to them,perhaps offer the child an easter egg,try and get to know them.

Appearances can be deceptive and people can easily come to the wrong conclusions when they don't know who or what is involved.

Give them a chance to get to know you.

Loz01

LunaLovegood wrote: »

I do wonder how they can afford the rent of £600pm and car etc with little or no income-

OP this is pretty much the norm these days, there is a young couple who live down the road from us (by young I mean 23/24 max) who have 3 small kids, neither work and they live in a detached 4 bed house that is £895 PCM and have a car as well. Before anyone asks how I know the house price, I looked online out of interest before it was rented to see how much the rents are in our area these days.

All you can do is approach the neighbours - tell them the TV isn't the issue but its xyz, the kid screaming etc. Politely drop into convo something about "oh I expect she'll be going to nursery soon wont she? or pre school?" and see what she says. Living joined on can be a pain and Im somewhat phobic of moving into a semi detached house for all the reasons you've listed lol.

LunaLovegood

I like the Easter Egg idea, thank you.

LunaLovegood

Loz01 wrote: »

OP this is pretty much the norm these days, there is a young couple who live down the road from us (by young I mean 23/24 max) who have 3 small kids, neither work and they live in a detached 4 bed house that is £895 PCM and have a car as well. Before anyone asks how I know the house price, I looked online out of interest before it was rented to see how much the rents are in our area these days.

All you can do is approach the neighbours - tell them the TV isn't the issue but its xyz, the kid screaming etc. Politely drop into convo something about "oh I expect she'll be going to nursery soon wont she? or pre school?" and see what she says. Living joined on can be a pain and Im somewhat phobic of moving into a semi detached house for all the reasons you've listed lol.

Yep, I know how much it is because we saw it online- £600pm is a lot for this area too so it surprised me that neither were going out to work. Practically the whole street empties everyday with people going to work.

I think I'll go in with an easter egg for the girl, and try and bring the conversation round to nursery or something. Maybe if I know that it won't be like this for long I can tolerate it a bit easier