Relationship, Step kid, moving in - Am I being Unreasonable?

Tabbytabitha

ska_lover wrote: »

It is your own twisted translation of the other persons language though, isn't it. It is not actual fact. You are taking offense at your own imagination... your own version of events, which never happened / got said


You cannot get offended by something that did not happen. You cannot get offended by something that did not get said

To repeatedly tell someone that you know what is going on in their head better than they do - is pathetic!! It's brainwashing!!

You people are doing it for your own agenda, you are attempting to pass off YOUR vile thoughts, as his! - and to argue with him, about words that you said

In terms that you, amongst other people, seem to have taken offense at something DESPITE op repeatedly advising you that you are wrong, people insist on thinking they know better what he meant than him

and then you think it is 'reasonable' to defend this pathetic behavior. Completely laughable

Honestly get a grip, and everyone else repeatedly bleating this total rubbish.

Judging by MSE there are some pretty delusional people wandering around

I have no idea where that rant came from, I was simply explaining how the OP's language had come across to some people. I always think that understanding the way people think is a good thing when trying to convey meaning.

surveyqueenuk

To be fair, Tabbytabitha, you do seem to have your knickers in a twist. What was OP supposed to say? The child? It? The ickle wickle pudding?

It's almost as if you're just looking for a reason to have a pop at OP.

BTW, I'm a Scouser too. Our kid, my kid, the kid. You hear it all the time. I live in another city right now and people say it here too.

ska_lover

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I have no idea where that rant came from, I was simply explaining how the OP's language had come across to some people. I always think that understanding the way people think is a good thing when trying to convey meaning.

But you don't understand how people think, there is no insight there at all.

You (and others) try to tell people that your perception is their reality.

Massive difference between your own opinion and fact

Teapot55

Naah. I don't buy it. I'm from 'oop north' and 'ar kid, ar mam' etc are terms of endearment. The first post of this thread reads more like the sentence 'can't you get rid of it' uttered by the unwilling father-to-be upon hearing the bad news. (You can detect the venom between the lines).

Tabbytabitha

ska_lover wrote: »

But you don't understand how people think, there is no insight there at all.

You (and others) try to tell people that your perception is their reality.

Massive difference between your own opinion and fact

I certainly don't know what everybody thinks and would never claim to do so. However, if you read back over the thread at least half a dozen people commented negatively on his use of that expression and so, rightly or wrongly, that affected the way they thought.

It would be very much the same if someone spoke of "the wife" - many people would have negative feelings about anything the poster said.

If you re-read my post that you jumped on, I was actually being very even handed in my comments about both of the adults in this situation and yet you and the poster above have read it as my being critical of the OP only because that's the way you chose to read it.

Tabbytabitha

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

To be fair, Tabbytabitha, you do seem to have your knickers in a twist. What was OP supposed to say? The child? It? The ickle wickle pudding?

It's almost as if you're just looking for a reason to have a pop at OP.

BTW, I'm a Scouser too. Our kid, my kid, the kid. You hear it all the time. I live in another city right now and people say it here too.

If I were referring to a friend's child and and didn't want to use his name, I'd say "her child" or "her son" - neither which seem to me to be particularly cutesy expressions.

If I were suggesting an outing with them and said "Are you bringing the kid?" I'd expect her to be quite offended, and rightly so.

Pay_me

Tabbytaitha it is now obvious that you don't understand the spoken term 'the Kid'

It wouldn't be used in the manner you describe.

ska_lover

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

If you re-read my post that you jumped on, I was actually being very even handed in my comments about both of the adults in this situation and yet you and the poster above have read it as my being critical of the OP only because that's the way you chose to read it.[/QUOTE





Except that isn't what actually happened, either is it?

I didn't ''jump on'' your post - you contacted me, initially.

Teapot55

If I were suggesting an outing with them and said "Are you bringing the kid?" I'd expect her to be quite offended, and rightly so.[/QUOTE]


Yes.

chesky

I must admit that I was put off by the use of the word kid in both the title and the first post. It quite put me off the OP (that’s probably because I come from effete London). But, as the thread went on and he became more explanatory, I got to really rather like his honesty and openness.

But I don’t hold out much hope for this relationship, long-term. I think his girlfriend is just a tad selfish. She went with the OP to view all the houses, fully knowing what problems would be involved in the location (better than he would - after all, he’s a single man and wouldn’t realise in the same way a mother would).