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Can A Girl Ask A Man Out on a Date.

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  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,378 Forumite
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    tesuhoha wrote: »
    She always does, irregardless.
    Really? For both of them? Always?

    I think what the PP was referring to is there's this notion certain posters have that the "asker" should always pay for the date. They don't say the "man" because of course that would be sexist and they don't want to appear as sexist, oh no, especially when they rant on about sexism in other contexts. That would make them a hypocrite. So they pretend it's about who does the asking not about gender.

    Sorry a bit OT from your point. This thread is surprisingly unanimous in opinions for a change.

    ETA: spoke too soon!
  • ripplyuk
    ripplyuk Posts: 2,891 Forumite
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    justme111 wrote: »
    Ah, ripply, but don't you see how circumstances make that advice bot applicable? There would be no chance whatsoever to meet him again otherwise so she would not have damaged her prospects with him as they are 0 otherwise. And he couldn't really with a straight face ask her out after she seen him on a date with her friend really , could he? Some flexibility , not blind following the recipe , eh?:)

    She should just text him and ask him out. That's the logical answer. I would struggle to do that though, and probably never would. I might try to find some 'excuse' for texting him and getting to know him a bit better, then seeing if he suggests meeting up.

    It's just hard when you've always been told that if a man likes you, he'll make sure he gets to see you again, no matter what.
  • justme111
    justme111 Posts: 3,508 Forumite
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    :). Yeah, excuse and talking on unrelated matters is good idea. At the end of the day social skills are in part about conveying the info without spelling it out; people give "signals" to each other which gives them pretty good idea whether it is worth asking si.eine or not; majority of coupling must happen that way :)
    I probably could not have been bothered with excuse thing (unless I had an obvious one) as it probably woyld have looked too false in these circumstances for my liking:) and asked him whether he could been interested outright but many people would go with the excuse , fair enough, very British way:p
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • zagfles
    zagfles Posts: 20,378 Forumite
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    ripplyuk wrote: »
    It's just hard when you've always been told that if a man likes you, he'll make sure he gets to see you again, no matter what.
    What you've "always been told" is complete BS, frankly. Yeah some men are super confident and will always "chase" any woman who interests him. But most of us aren't, we're just as shy, or lacking in self confidence, or as fearful of rejection, as the average woman. If we think a woman is "out of our league", we won't risk rejection even if we are very interested. Pretty much what I thought about my wife...
  • onomatopoeia99
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    ripplyuk wrote: »
    I'll probably get flamed for this but I'm just being honest. I was taught that a girl should never ask a guy out. I'm not a million years old either, born in the 80's. Various reasons were given such as guys liking a 'chase' and it would ruin it for them, or that they'd think I was cheap. I don't rationally believe any of this but it's hard to shake off.
    Those reasons are nonsense, speaking as a man. Whoever taught you those things did you a diservice.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • onomatopoeia99
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    ripplyuk wrote: »
    It's just hard when you've always been told that if a man likes you, he'll make sure he gets to see you again, no matter what.

    More nonsense unfortunately :(
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
  • Gloomendoom
    Gloomendoom Posts: 16,551 Forumite
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    tesuhoha wrote: »
    What was your reply.

    No.

    I dressed it up a bit better than that though. I think.

    It was a long time ago and I still cringe thinking about it.
  • NBLondon
    NBLondon Posts: 5,556 Forumite
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    tesuhoha wrote: »
    The friend met the guy for a date on Saturday afternoon. She was due to go out with Chloe in the evening so he joined them for a drink. After a while Chloe left them to it. So it was a date and a half I suppose.
    Hang on... Friend and Bloke are supposed to be meeting for the afternoon only because Friend and Chloe are meeting for the evening. Bloke comes for one drink before the evening but then Chloe abandons the evening? Yet Friend and Bloke got no further?


    OK. Chloe definitely should ask Friend first - in case the response is "he turned out to be a complete nutter/ sex pest/ whatever". If the response is "go for it - it just didn't work for me" then Good Luck Chloe...
    I need to think of something new here...
  • Gavin83
    Gavin83 Posts: 8,756 Forumite
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    ripplyuk wrote: »
    Various reasons were given such as guys liking a 'chase' and it would ruin it for them

    The chase is the worst bit of dating. I can't be dealing with playing games.

    Then again men are as diverse as women, I'm sure there are men that love the chase.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,559 Forumite
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    Gavin83 wrote: »
    The chase is the worst bit of dating. I can't be dealing with playing games.

    Then again men are as diverse as women, I'm sure there are men that love the chase.

    The problem with the ones who love the chase is that they get bored when the chase is over and they start looking for the next exciting prospect.
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