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Can A Girl Ask A Man Out on a Date.

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  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    edited 14 February 2017 at 1:41PM
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    tea_lover wrote: »
    There's a big difference between "I'd like to ask someone out but I'm a bit shy / had a few confidence knocks" and "I'd like to ask someone out but I'm not sure my gender is allowed to so I'll check the internet first".

    She hasn't looked on the internet at all! All she said to me is it seems a bit desperate. It is me who googled it to and a lot of it says to do it casually but that is not possible if you don't know someone at all.

    You are also right in your comments, I am of the older generation and in my young days it wasn't the done thing. I wasn't expecting mockery like 'where have you been for the last four centuries.' I just thought I would get some constructive advice that I could pass on. The only person that has done that is phatbear - a man. Perhaps I should have just asked the men.

    She says she is going to play it by ear so I've suggested she talks to her friend about it and see what she thinks.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • emmatthews
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    Most adults have suffered rejection, it's all part and parcel of dating. If she asks and he says no then she never has to see or speak to him again, it's not like she's asking a colleague out.

    Alternatively, bit teenage, but she could ask her friend to text him and ask on her behalf.
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    emmatthews wrote: »
    Most adults have suffered rejection, it's all part and parcel of dating. If she asks and he says no then she never has to see or speak to him again, it's not like she's asking a colleague out.

    Alternatively, bit teenage, but she could ask her friend to text him and ask on her behalf.

    Thank you. I have just passed that thought on to her.

    I don't think she would ask her friend.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,559 Forumite
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    tesuhoha wrote: »
    I've looked up advice on the internet and most of it says its a no no. Is this really the case?

    How very weird. :(

    If the problem is that she's shy rather than worried about breaking some out-of-date social protocol, is there a group event happening that she could ask him to join?

    It's much easier to say "A few of us are getting together next week to go to X - want to join us" than to ask a person out for a one-to-one date.

    It's up to her during that event to get to know him better and show him that she's interested in him.
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    She has just said she is going to ask him out. She said she doesn't care about rejection because she is used to it.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,803 Forumite
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    No, it's 1957 after all.
    I had to check that it was really 2017! :eek:

    And not April Fool's Day. :rotfl:

    I'm curious where the OP has been looking on t'internet to find most advice is against asking a bloke out.
  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    How very weird. :(

    If the problem is that she's shy rather than worried about breaking some out-of-date social protocol, is there a group event happening that she could ask him to join?

    It's much easier to say "A few of us are getting together next week to go to X - want to join us" than to ask a person out for a one-to-one date.

    It's up to her during that event to get to know him better and show him that she's interested in him.


    Yes, she is shy. Its nothing to do with an out of date social protocol, more that she thinks it might put him off and make him think she is desperate.

    Its also a bit difficult for her to ask him out on a group thing as she is asking a practical stranger out as you would a friend. In this situation asking him to go for a drink might be less awkward because its what you would do if you had met through a dating app.
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • tesuhoha
    tesuhoha Posts: 17,971 Forumite
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    Pollycat wrote: »
    I had to check that it was really 2017! :eek:

    And not April Fool's Day. :rotfl:

    I'm curious where the OP has been looking on t'internet to find most advice is against asking a bloke out.

    Not April Fool's Day no, but Valentine's Day and I thought people would be more sympathetic. This article for example finds all sorts of ways round it but is no good if you want to meet up with someone you are not in regular contact with.

    http://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-women/how-to-ask-a-guy-out
    The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best






  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,559 Forumite
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    tesuhoha wrote: »
    This article for example finds all sorts of ways round it but is no good if you want to meet up with someone you are not in regular contact with.

    http://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-women/how-to-ask-a-guy-out

    Linked from that site -
    http://www.lovepanky.com/women/attracting-and-dating-men/can-a-girl-ask-a-guy-out

    So depressing! I'd hate to see any teenagers in my family taking this rubbish on board. :(
  • makingplans4nigel
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    Can she not stalk out this guy on the same dating app?
    Come on sucker lick my battery
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