Changing dating strategy? Any ideas please?

Smartsaver7

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Missed an open net there!

I think I would have done the same, any woman who kidnapped me for whatever reason or suggested returning to her place of abode on the first date not someone I would want to get involved with.:exclamati:exclamati:exclamati:exclamati

I also don't look good in a white paper suit

Fireflyaway

I guess internet dating just skips out a step. If you meet someone out they might not be single or might not find you attractive and vice versa but internet stuff is a bit like shortlisting!
Not many people know but I met my husband this way 13 years ago! Had 2 bad dates before him. One I actually went to the loo and then ran to my car and drove away. Feel a bit bad about it but he creeper me out! As for photos...my husband had not uploaded one so I didn't know till we met. Its just luck . you could meet someone right away or it might take ages. In general I do think many people set too higher expectations though.

indiepanda

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

Sorry, but that deserves a :rotfl:

While only two hours away rather than several time zones, if I ever manage to finish making an online dating profile, I wouldn't message someone in London. I wouldn't rule out dating someone there or elsewhere a similar distance, but not actively seek them out. I say that as a long time ago I kind of accidentally fell into a relationship with someone that lived there (and totally fell for her, not that that's particularly relevant), but the getting up at 0530 to get back to Bristol for work after driving up the previous evening was exhausting. While it lasted it was so worth it though, really thought she could be the one.

It did also give me a real understanding of the phrase "burning the candle at both ends" :eek:

No need to apologise, I was totally playing it for laughs - it's important not to take this stuff too seriously and the idea I would be taken in by someone who was so clearly (if politely) looking for a visa is quite funny.

More seriously, as you say, distance can definitely be an issue. The last guy I fell for lived 14 miles away when we first met but within a year moved a 100 miles away and was busy a lot at the weekend and didn't want the responsibility of me moving to be near him. Eventually I had to give up - I was doing all the running and it was very clear he was only willing to allow a tiny spot in his life for me - somewhere below friends, sport and sleep. We only got to see each other every 3-4 weeks and that wasn't enough for me, but when pushed on the matter he was expecting get busier and have even less time for me.

Smartsaver7

I identify with what you say, but where a partner lives not the only consideration, I tried dating someone who lived local but her job took her away most of the time, often abroad for weeks, she expected me to pencil myself into her busy diary. I have had one long distance relationship 147 miles that worked for about 8 mths, my limit was 50miles when doing the online stuff

duchy

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I guess internet dating just skips out a step. If you meet someone out they might not be single or might not find you attractive and vice versa but internet stuff is a bit like shortlisting!
Not many people know but I met my husband this way 13 years.

Hmmm
Having a dating profile is no guarantee the person is single

PeacefulWaters

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

I identify with what you say, but where a partner lives not the only consideration, I tried dating someone who lived local but her job took her away most of the time, often abroad for weeks, she expected me to pencil myself into her busy diary. I have had one long distance relationship 147 miles that worked for about 8 mths, my limit was 50miles when doing the online stuff

30-60 minute drives have been pretty much my limit. I have met a clouple of people slightly further away, both in an area I used to live.

KnightRider

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Missed an open net there!

Very glad that I did give that one a miss!

NBLondon

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Missed an open net there!

or a trip to a local dogging hot-spot?


I'm sure that if a man had made this offer to a woman on a first date - the advice would have been to run away sharpish! Unfortunately - there's no practical way to say "I've enjoyed your company so far but actually I'd only like a one-night stand - what do you think?" Which could be offered by and to any gender - but it apparently only works for some gay guys on the club scene.

PeacefulWaters

KnightRider wrote: »

Very glad that I did give that one a miss!

I suspect I'd have made the same retreat.

Cloudydaze

duchy wrote: »

Hmmm
Having a dating profile is no guarantee the person is single

I've noticed on Tinder that quite a few men state that they are married and just looking for 'discreet fun'. i think it's great that they are being so honest on the website although I'm not sure their wives would agree.