Changing dating strategy? Any ideas please?

AshleyBurf

I really would try to meet people in other ways as well. Surely you are leaving the house, right? What do you do? Go somewhere that you like doing... yoga... dancing... put the intention out into the world that you want to meet them and get out there and say hello to people.

Online might be ok but don't use it as the last resort and hope.

Gloomendoom

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

I think I will wait for a time machine to be invented and go back to the 1950's , life much more simple then.

Go back to the 1920's. There was an acute shortage of eligible bachelors and cuddly wasn't fashionable.

KnightRider

AshleyBurf wrote: »

I really would try to meet people in other ways as well. Surely you are leaving the house, right? What do you do? Go somewhere that you like doing... yoga... dancing... put the intention out into the world that you want to meet them and get out there and say hello to people.

Online might be ok but don't use it as the last resort and hope.

I don't like yoga or dancing though!

KnightRider

Had a look at Meetup groups - there's only a couple for my area and one just seems to be a random aimless meetup (and everyone looks pretty old in the members photo...) and the other is a Football one (which bores me rigid!).

I guess the Internet has replaced meeting up in person for things based around a common interest.

Smartsaver7

Most of the social meetups I have tried have mainly been populated by the 45-60 age group and the flotsam and jetsam of life, ,anyone younger who pitched up were usually foreign workers or new to the area and didn't have a network of friends.They did have a 3:1 ratio of women though.

It is probably because those in your age group and younger still have a good network of single friends to hang out with or are doing the young family/ couples thing and don't need a " support group" or a "life" that you book online.

I spent my early years traveling with work and working long hours , when I looked round in my early 40's all my friends had become family men/women and I was trying to play catch up, I never did and ended up trying the various social groups/holidays and the dreaded dating sites.

I now find that my friends kids have grown up or they have got divorced so I have people to hang out with again.:o

Smartsaver7

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Go back to the 1920's. There was an acute shortage of eligible bachelors and cuddly wasn't fashionable.

No surprise really what with the recent Great War and the lack of junk food

KnightRider

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

Most of the social meetups I have tried have mainly been populated by the 45-60 age group and the flotsam and jetsam of life, ,anyone younger who pitched up were usually foreign workers or new to the area and didn't have a network of friends.They did have a 3:1 ratio of women though.

It is probably because those in your age group and younger still have a good network of single friends to hang out with or are doing the young family/ couples thing and don't need a " support group" or a "life" that you book online.

I spent my early years traveling with work and working long hours , when I looked round in my early 40's all my friends had become family men/women and I was trying to play catch up, I never did and ended up trying the various social groups/holidays and the dreaded dating sites.

I now find that my friends kids have grown up or they have got divorced so I have people to hang out with again.:o

Well, there must be some women around my age that get out and do something... to be fair, neither of those groups sounded particularly exciting to me so would imagine I'm not alone in that!

I was in a relationship for seven years, during my twenties, and it ended amicably (we're still good friends) but we just realised that we'd gotten together when we were quite young and she decided she didn't want a family (which I do). I can't be that unique a case and there must be women out there who have been in a similar situation and are back out there and looking. It just seems to me that they aren't looking on dating sites (not OKCupid anyway).

onomatopoeia99

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

the flotsam and jetsam of life

What's that then?

indiepanda

KnightRider wrote: »

Had a look at Meetup groups - there's only a couple for my area and one just seems to be a random aimless meetup (and everyone looks pretty old in the members photo...) and the other is a Football one (which bores me rigid!).

I guess the Internet has replaced meeting up in person for things based around a common interest.

Are you living somewhere super quiet or being very fussy about the distance from your home you are looking in?

Just wondering if you are living somewhere quiet where most people settle down young so there aren't many singles your age looking for marriage and babies - mostly the ones who wanted that already have it.

If so, maybe you should consider moving somewhere livelier or widening your search area. Ultimately you can try as many methods as you like of meeting someone, but if you are living somewhere where supply is low, the chances of meeting someone wanting what you want and there being mutual attraction is low.

I have met more men since I moved to London than I ever did in small town Hampshire. Yes, not Mr Right yet, but I have more chance here than where I was bored and lonely and stuck home most nights. And at least here I have plenty of single friends to spend time with in the meantime.

Smartsaver7

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

What's that then?

Forever single, never been kissed, socially awkward , cat ladies , cat men , cougars, MDAL, OSIT, alcoholics and people who spent the evening updating FB with what they had just eaten or taking selfies with strangers to make out they had friends :rotfl:

Most of the people who RSVP'd YES , commented on the MU event threads and had a profile picture of a kettle never actually turned up and seemed to belong to 30 or more groups ( including yogic flying ) , so can add crazies as well :doh:


And I now include myself as one of life's flotsam and jetsam !!! ,