Changing dating strategy? Any ideas please?

Smartsaver7

Same here lost my dad at 12, having kids later in life isn't an issue as following surgery about 5 years ago now not an option.

Person_one

I don't think anybody is talking about having children in your sixties, but a woman of 40 who wanted children in a relationship would need to be looking very seriously and would not have the luxury of spending a long time dating potential partners, or spending years together without getting serious.

At 40, you will still be able to take the time to get to know a (probably younger) partner before making the huge decision to create children, and having children in your forties is not generally considered to be too old for a man.

Smartsaver7

Person_one wrote: »

At 40, you will still be able to take the time to get to know a (probably younger) partner before making the huge decision to create children, and having children in your forties is not generally considered to be too old for a man.

True to a certain extent , but as guys get older even mid 50's their sperm count can drop and they have more chance of a condition / illness that prevents them from having kids I was 47. Fertility clinics are full of guys in their 40's + who have problems having kids so not just an issue for women.
There are treatments available ie IVF a number of friends have been down that route with mixed success.

Smartsaver7

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

When I first went on pof if I liked the look of a profile picture, I would read the profile then send a message based on the profile but this was to much work and time for the response rate.
Now if I like the profile picture I send more or less a copy and paste message and if I get a response then I look at the profile in depth.
I know it sounds bad but it's working as I'm getting more replies as I'm able to message more women.

No real surprise , the shotgun method will always get you more responses:)

KnightRider

jamiehelsinki wrote: »

I'm not sure if it's easier for women but they do obviously get a lot more messages than men do. The few women I know who have admitted to using dating sites just say they that they had no need to message anyone and just replied to a few that suited them.

When I first went on pof if I liked the look of a profile picture, I would read the profile then send a message based on the profile but this was to much work and time for the response rate.
Now if I like the profile picture I send more or less a copy and paste message and if I get a response then I look at the profile in depth.
I know it sounds bad but it's working as I'm getting more replies as I'm able to message more women.

The best profiles for me going on the quality of the dates are 3-4 pictures of them alone, all questions answered and a paragraph description about them and what they want.
When there's 10 pictures and an essay about them and what they want it's a waste of time they are looking for Prince Charming.

I don't think it's necessarily easier - from the women I've spoken to that have tried OLD, they tend to get loads of messages and a lot of them are weird or unpleasant. They end up having to click through them all and finding whether there are any genuine messages (from people like us!). I'd imagine having to go through loads of crappy ones would get tiring pretty fast so it's not surprising that some profiles end up being abandoned.

I only message women whose profiles actually sound genuinely interesting to me and when I do, I tend to type a message and ask about something in the profile. I don't do long first messages but it has never really occurred to me to do copy and pasting... seems a bit impersonal to me but I guess if it works for you then fair enough.

bellaboo86

Dating is hard. I would agree with others that it is a numbers game. You have to try not to be selective. I went on dates with blokes that weren't necessarily my 'type' based on their profiles. Although they didn't turn out to be my Mr Right, most of them were decent, kind men that I'm sure have gone on to make another woman very happy. In fact, there were a couple that I would happily have seen on a friends basis but that wasn't what they were looking for from me so didn't take up my offer of friendship. There was the odd weirdo... but at least my stories gave my friends a laugh.

sweetbabu

I actually found my OH online. Neither of us were online dating - or even looking IRL, to be perfectly honest; him due to working irregular shifts, me due to having had a 'mare with an ex - and it happened purely accidentally on a general interest forum. We got to talking via PM, then texting/emailing/calling and then, by the time we actually met, we both knew that the other was 'the one' and the rest, and they say, is history.

It can, and does, happen.

Archergirl

First Date restaurant? I love that programme............

Smartsaver7

bellaboo86 wrote: »

In fact, there were a couple that I would happily have seen on a friends basis but that wasn't what they were looking for from me so didn't take up my offer of friendship.

That would never work for me as if I did fancy the woman, last thing I would want to be is her friend hearing about the guys she was dating and being a shoulder to cry on, I also declined the same offer a few times.

There was the odd weirdo... but at least my stories gave my friends a laugh.

Ooops sorry about that , was off my meds that day:D

sweetbabu wrote: »

I actually found my OH online. Neither of us were online dating - or even looking IRL, to be perfectly honest; him due to working irregular shifts, me due to having had a 'mare with an ex - and it happened purely accidentally on a general interest forum. We got to talking via PM, then texting/emailing/calling and then, by the time we actually met, we both knew that the other was 'the one' and the rest, and they say, is history.
It can, and does, happen.

Best all the singletons start sending Pm's to each other on here , maybe a few will get lucky:beer:

sweetbabu

Archergirl wrote: »

First Date restaurant? I love that programme............

They are looking at the moment!

Smartsaver7 wrote: »

Best all the singletons start sending Pm's to each other on here , maybe a few will get lucky:beer:

I shan't say which forum was 'ours', but you never know