Parents vs Grandparents - Christmas cancelled?

74jax

You said to your parents 'bye then' ??

How old are you, relatively young? I'm in my early 40s, dad died last year but when here I would not have spoken to him like that. Yet everything you say is pretty much as our visits were. But I bit my tongue, until they left, then sighed immensely and shut the door.

They hardly saw my DD due to distance and I sware did everything they could to wind me up.

But it was a few hours, and they were my parents.

If give anything to have dad sit in my lounge and tell me my grass is too long, the car needs a wash, my dress is too short, I need to cut my hair........

Pick your battles, but I think you owe an apology to them.

prosaver

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

mmm................

the whole thing makes no sense.

and 4 pieces of cake and 5 people?

surveyqueenuk

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

mmm................

the whole thing makes no sense.

It doesn't does it. I do wonder if this story is fabricated. Is this really just someone from MSE Towers trying to get the traffic flowing? Or perhaps a Daily Fail journo who has run out of Mumsnet and Reddit threads?

Lily-Rose_3

Bet the OP wishes she had never posted on here.

meer53

OP, you sound like a spoilt brat, if you were my daughter i'd be so disappointed in you for behaving like that. I would have left too and would be expecting an apology. You need to come down from your high horse. I'd love to hear your parents side of this story.

ska_lover

Oh no, will little Tarquin get no turkey this Christmas?

FBaby

OP, was the incident the top of the iceberg? Do you feel that they are controlling and although you've managed to deal with it before, they undermining you in front of your children is what set you up?

The irony is that as it is often the case, what you accused them of is exactly what you did. You didn't want them to undermine you in front of you kids and yet what you did is undermine them in the worse possible way by telling them in a childlike way to leave the house, which is not a good example to set to your kids is it?

It is true that you should be grateful for your parents, and even though they get on your nerves, you will have to learn to concentrate on the best and put aside what annoys you.

Why don't you go to them, apologise, explain that what set you off was their undermine you in front of your kids, but that you don't want to fall out. Agree that when you go to their house (and make an effort to do so if you don't already), they can do and say what they want, but when they are in your house, you would appreciate it if they followed your rules even if they don't agree with it. Your toddler seem to enjoy the company of your parents, so maybe she could sometimes go and spend time with them and be themselves then.

Kids learn to know the difference between parents and grand-parents and adapt accordingly. My parents always spoil my kids with money every time we see them. They are now teenagers and they certainly haven't learnt to expect money all the time, on the opposite. Relax.

duchy

I do think there is an element of the OP cutting for her nose to spite her face and even suggesting she is considering "cancelling Christmas" (stupid term she has no intention of cancelling it just excluding her parents from her celebration of it) may bite her on the bum as it appears her parents have had enough .
Spending Christmas Day with grandchildren isn't compulsory and they probably have friends who don't see their grandchildren at Christmas due to reasons like distance, visiting the other grandparents etc and if the OP is as high maintainance as she appears on this thread with her over inflated ideas of her own status and do as I say not as I do attitude and rather odd way of speaking to people they may appreciate having a more normal Christmas at home, with other family or going away for a change.

You've already miscalculated with your "bye then" OP don't push yourself further into a corner with threats about excluding them from your Christmas unless you mean it as they could call your bluff again. Try talking to them adult to adult instead . You've clearly pushed them too far.

duchy

surveyqueenuk wrote: »

It doesn't does it. I do wonder if this story is fabricated. Is this really just someone from MSE Towers trying to get the traffic flowing? Or perhaps a Daily Fail journo who has run out of Mumsnet and Reddit threads?

Fabricated or not (the tomato thing does sound odd and raises the possibility) it does open up the discussion about family fall outs and Christmas plans .

Pollycat

Lbuk wrote: »

My children are good. Everyone comments how pleasant and well behaved they are and my toddler is so bright, she's remarkable. I'm a really good mother and I feel that for me to broach a truce would be to undermine myself and I'm not prepared to do that.

I'm not actually particularly upset except for my children but it's seems like such a big thing to cut ties to your family that I'd like any insight, thanks.

TBH, if I'd been a guest in your house and you'd spoken to me like you did to your Dad, I'm not sure I'd welcome you if you tried to 'broach a truce'.
Perhaps you should contemplate that.
It sounds like you think that everything is about you. It's not.

Saying 'Christmas is cancelled' is very silly.
You sound like Alan Rickman in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. :rotfl: