Is a 16 year age gap such a bad thing?

onlyroz

FBaby wrote: »

Sorry but it always makes me laugh when I read this. How many father 'run around' with their teenagers and feel deprived when they can't?

Also, why this assumption that everyone after 40 becomes unfit? OH and I are in our late 40s and fitter we've ever been and it's our teenagers who can't keep us with us! You can continue to improve your fitness on average up to the age of 55 if you look after yourself. In our case, it's much more the mental and psychological demands of a child that would put us off, certainly not the physical side of it.

Surely the decision about whether a man is "too old" to have kids is a personal choice? And if you have a child at 50 you'll be 68 by the time they reach 18. I'm not sure I'd have the energy to be dealing with teens at that age.

Lunar_Eclipse

It's totally up to the two of you and you do seem to be well matched.

However I don't think it's fair to say the age gap isn't huge when it is. And especially this way round since it's much less common.

There is generally a considerable difference between lifestyles and goals at 27 vs 43, which might become significant as your biological clock speeds up. If you think this is Mr Right (long term) you are going to be seeking commitment from him quickly, which wouldn't be so urgent if he was dating someone his own age (although I was definitely thinking about getting on with pregnancy at his age.)

Pollycat

UKTigerlily wrote: »

Please tell me you honestly don't think women would struggle with 20kg? I lift over 100kg every week & even at the start could easily lift more than this, we aren't that pathetic!

Well, I'm no spring chicken but I wouldn't like to lift the eqivalent weight of a full suitcase (20kg).

If you really can lift 100kg, that's almost a 16 stone person so I'd suggest that you are somewhat out of the ordinary as far as women go.

Person_one

peter12345678910 wrote: »

Even an older father (who is fit) would be able to pick up and give rides to a 15-20kg baby whereas the younger wife would struggle.

Not many babies weigh over 3 stone!

By the time an average child weighs 20kg they'll be about 5 or 6 and much less likely to need carrying around. Most adults will be able to manage a piggy back at that age though.

Hardly seems like it should be the deciding factor in having a child or not...

Pollycat

Person_one wrote: »

Not many babies weigh over 3 stone!

By the time an average child weighs 20kg they'll be about 5 or 6 and much less likely to need carrying around. Most adults will be able to manage a piggy back at that age though.

Hardly seems like it should be the deciding factor in having a child or not...

I thought that too, when I was getting my head around lifing 20kg and 100kg.

Gloomendoom

Pollycat wrote: »

Well, I'm no spring chicken but I wouldn't like to lift the eqivalent weight of a full suitcase (20kg).

If you really can lift 100kg, that's almost a 16 stone person so I'd suggest that you are somewhat out of the ordinary as far as women go.

I would say so too. I was impressed when my wife could lift 50kg in the gym.

Pollycat

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I would say so too. I was impressed when my wife could lift 50kg in the gym.

I'd also think that comparing lifting weights in a gym to picking up a baby - when you're possibly harassed and maybe have other things in your hands - is a bit like comparing an elephant to a bat. They both have big ears but.......

FBaby

Surely the decision about whether a man is "too old" to have kids is a personal choice? And if you have a child at 50 you'll be 68 by the time they reach 18. I'm not sure I'd have the energy to be dealing with teens at that age.

Absolutely it is a personal choice, and it depends on personal factor. My dad is 73 and is much fitter than many 60 yo or even some 50yo. I had to laugh the other day when the father of my friend announced he had to go as he had to pick up his mum to take her to her friend. He is 85, his mum is 106! You would never believe either are the age they are.

Robisere

It's all gone off-topic. The OP wants advice on whether a 16-year age gap is too much.

My answer is, just try it out. Get to know each other, which is after all the only way to find out if there is a future together, or just a lot of fun to be had together until one of you decides enough is enough.

Ther are no "rules" - that is just ridiculous, people are not bound by rules for relationships.

Have fun together, enjoy each other's company. Anything else is a bonus.

[Deleted User]

The other thing in my mind is the practicality , I am 50 and if I were to be with someone of 34 we'd have different goals in life.

Ie I'm thinking of retiring and travelling , having adventures etc and he'd be stuck working full time unless he is independently wealthy so my retirement would be spent essentially alone .

I think you should go for it but in reality it may be for fun rather than future.