Am I wrong !

LilElvis

belinda729 wrote: »

No I wouldn't think she was responsible for them as they live with [STRIKE]me[/STRIKE] us95%of the time

Corrected that for you.

They are your children so why don't you do something to provide for them rather than rely on a man who has a responsibility only for two out of the six in your household?

ognum

belinda729 wrote: »

No I wouldn't think she was responsible for them as they live with me 95%of the time

I note you say me and not us, that says it all.

belinda729

I have a 1yr old baby so is not possible for me to go out to work and my partner doesn't want me to even if I could, am trying to do all I can at the moment just to keep everything together ...idiot think the fact I said me nor us has any relevance..I was talking about who has majority of custody, which is me not my ex

Person_one

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

No. Dating someone with children does not mean you take responsibility for them., even if dating the parent they spend most of their time with.

If your ex got a new girlfriend, would you think she had responsibility for the three children you had with him?

To be fair to the OP, if she wasn't with him and looking after the new baby they have together, she'd be able to work more and provide for her own older kids by herself. Presumably they've agreed that she will stay at home with the new baby and that means that his income does have to support the whole family. Not fair at all to short change the older kids because mum is looking after the new one.

justme111

Hi Belinda.
I feel for you getting upset. 4 children is a tough call and then you haveba partner you do not get on well with..
It always annoys me when people advisr "to talk " on this thread. Surely the issue is there in the first place because people do not manage to talk ! So advising them to talk is like advising a legless person to do a high jump - upsetting.
Whether you are right to get annoyed at him to spend that miney on himself is impossible to tell. One would have to know so many more things in order to build a picture in one's head ypu would not have had enough time till Christmas to describe it all.
What you definitely NOT right to do is to try to force his hand into how you want him to spend his money. It is disrespectful, unsexy and harmful.
You say he gurld abuse at you while talking - any chance you are talking "at" him rather than "to" him ? As it would be the usual men's reaction to a woman who tries to control him.
From what you written and from what others say about your other threads your partnership is doomed , coin or no coin. So coin is the least of your problems. Sorry to say that.
Ah , and one more thing - in my view you are very irreasonable with this children and Christmas issue. Do you believe that the more money one spends on children on Christmas the better ? So you create an argumemt in the house for the sake of them getting more than £50 each on gifts ? Andbypu think they will benefit from it ?

tea_lover

belinda729 wrote: »

Surely when we got together he was taking responsibility for all the kids...

Your children are your responsibility. When you get together with someone with children then yes of course you accept that that person comes as part of a unit, and that their priority will be their children. That isn't the same as accepting financial responsibility for someone else's children.

Plenty of people work with a one-year old. If you don't feel you have enough income then there is an easy solution to that.

From this and other threads it sounds as if you don't even like your partner, let alone respect or love him. Now it could well be that he's a complete @rse of course (or that you're just incompatible), but why would you want to be with someone purely for finances? Is that the message you want to give to your children?

belinda729

No I don't think it matters how much is spent in them necessarily and i certainly didn't cause an argument for the sake of them getting more gifts...there are more than enough arguments here already...I don't thimk I talk at him either when he brought it up about buying the coin all I said was think of the kids before himself but he bouggt ut anyway I would have no issue with him buying it if we had finished Xmas shopping and there was no other jobs around house that needed doing...

I dontbthink it's unreasonable to ask him to put the family before himself...or maybe am wrong.

belinda729

And its not just a1 1yr old I have 3 other kids too

tea_lover

You said they were teenagers?

belinda729

One is 8 one is 12 and one is 16