Am I wrong !

Izadora

I'm not saying that he's in the right for spending that much without considering you first but how much would you have available for the three teenagers if your OH was out of the picture?

fairy_lights

belinda729 wrote: »

And £150 on there teenagers does not go far these days

£50 each, plus whatever your partner contributes next month, plus whatever their father buys them - it's not like they're going to be going without.
It sounds like you and your partner have very different ideas of how to manage your finances though.

Guest101

belinda729 wrote: »

Hi I do not have contact with my other children's dad he buys what he wants we don't 'work together' so to speak it's always been this way and works well...

I don't understand the logic my partner only has to pay for the one child that is his ...surely we are a family and that means buying for everyone not just one.

And I very much doubt the coin will be worth what he paid in a few years let alone more.

If he paid £450 for it, there will be others who would. So yes it is realistically that value.


Ok let's assume you are one family. The equitable thing is to ensure that all the children receive an approximate equal amount of gifts.


So £150 / 4 = £37.50 each, you would then put in the same? So £75 each, and then your ex would buy his own gifts for the 3 that are his. So what £100 in total?


So you two make up the £12.50 shortfall each for the baby.


OR are you saying that he needs to work to fully support the 3 children who aren't his, your ex will do the same, but you aren't expected to budget the same?

belinda729

I am not working at the mo so your saying I should contribute the same as my partner who is working. The only money I get is tax credit which is not a lot and child benefit which goes on the kids....

I really sont understand your point surely he is working to keep us all as a family...we are not all separate units...should be not contribute to the other children that are not his...he took these on when we got together...we came as a package..he can't pick and choose which kids to buy for.

suki1964

Looks to be three adults here to share the gift costs for 4 children

Your partner is giving £150

You are giving ??

Father of the children is giving ?????

Stevie_Palimo

belinda729 wrote: »

I am not working at the mo so your saying I should contribute the same as my partner who is working. The only money I get is tax credit which is not a lot and child benefit which goes on the kids....

I really sont understand your point surely he is working to keep us all as a family...we are not all separate units...should be not contribute to the other children that are not his...he took these on when we got together...we came as a package..he can't pick and choose which kids to buy for.

I believe if you are so unhappy here that you should contact the kids dad and tell him to contribute as well, Without looking at your history here this seems like a petty squabble.

belinda729

The other kids dad have always bought his own things for them

Guest101

belinda729 wrote: »

I am not working at the mo so your saying I should contribute the same as my partner who is working. The only money I get is tax credit which is not a lot and child benefit which goes on the kids....

I really sont understand your point surely he is working to keep us all as a family...we are not all separate units...should be not contribute to the other children that are not his...he took these on when we got together...we came as a package..he can't pick and choose which kids to buy for.

I think you're kicking off with him for spending some money on an item that is likely to retain (or increase) in value, when he is bringing in a sole income and supporting 3 children who are not biologically his.


I presume in addition to CB and CTC, you also get CMS payments.


As for your comment on 'keeping the family' - sure that seems reasonable, so are you saying that the children are at risk of malnutrition or neglect as a result of lack of financial support? It doesn't appear that way from here.


Really what you're saying is, "I wanted to do the Christmas shopping this month, but my partner, who is the sole earner supporting a family of 6, three of whom are not a direct relation, has decided to indulge in a hobby of his."


Given he's offered £150 now, and more at the end of the month - presumably the equivalent again - £75 - £100 each is a decent amount for gifts.

Malthusian

JP08 wrote: »

He's bought an asset with value (assumption that this coin is worth £450 and likely to appreciate) that could be cashed in if necessary

No he hasn't. It's a collectable coin. In other words a piece of shiny tat. If he tried to sell he'd get considerably less than he'd paid for it. That's the best case scenario. If it was likely to appreciate the London Mint Office or whoever flogged it would have kept it for themselves.

The answer to the OP's question is no, but a present is a present. It's not an obligation. I wouldn't think very highly of someone who gains more pleasure from spending money on a likely-worthless piece of shiny tat than on buying Christmas presents for their children. But it's not my money and not my choice of partner.

gettingtheresometime

Malthusian wrote: »

No he hasn't. It's a collectable coin. In other words a piece of shiny tat. If he tried to sell he'd get considerably less than he'd paid for it. That's the best case scenario. If it was likely to appreciate the London Mint Office or whoever flogged it would have kept it for themselves.

The answer to the OP's question is no, but a present is a present. It's not an obligation. I wouldn't think very highly of someone who gains more pleasure from spending money on a likely-worthless piece of shiny tat than on buying Christmas presents for their children. But it's not my money and not my choice of partner.

Doesn't that depend on what the coin actually is and where he bought it from?