Am I wrong !

Introuble28

Why should he take responsibility for kids that aren't his??


If you cant afford to have kids then just don't have them! I don't understand the culture of women just looking for a man to provide for them and a litter of kids!


Go get yourself a job. You could work shifts around your partners hours and contribute something yourself!

Pollycat

Introuble28 wrote: »

If you cant afford to have kids then just don't have them! I don't understand the culture of women just looking for a man to provide for them and a litter of kids!

Perhaps the OP & her ex-partner could afford to have kids at the time they had them.

You can't just pop them back where they came from when you split up with someone and your financial situation changes.

Fireflyaway

If the bills are paid and your partner wants to buy himself a coin ( or whatever else) from his own hard earned money I don't see why he shouldn't. He offered £150 which is more than enough to buy for a baby.
Im not sure the issue is just this particular sum of money, it might be because you don't agree on a budget and you have differing priorities. Sit down and agree on who contributes what and maybe put an agreed sum aside each month for future Christmases so this can't happen again. Its not madatory for him to go without his own enjoyment in order to buy presents for someone else's kids.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Introuble28 wrote: »

Why should he take responsibility for kids that aren't his??


If you cant afford to have kids then just don't have them! I don't understand the culture of women just looking for a man to provide for them and a litter of kids!


Go get yourself a job. You could work shifts around your partners hours and contribute something yourself!

I agree, looks like it might be time for the OP to act like some kind of hermit crab and grab everything she can, including the menagerie of children and leave the abode and hunt down some other fellow to shack up with who would be more than willing to provide for the offspring of various other men.

Robisere

I have a completely opposite problem. I married (2nd. relationship, 1st. ended badly) in my early 40's to a lady one year younger, with a son and daughter. In our 70's now and over the years I have grown to love the son and daughter as my own, they are smashing and I love their children with all my heart: thye call me granddad and I have a family that I never thought I would have.

The problem is my wife. She does not want to do anything or go anywhere " ...that will cost money." When asked what I would like for Christmas, I answered with an Amazon Fire HD, which would allow me to read Kindle books and watch TV, screencast etc. I have a budget smartphone which is just too small for my fading sight, so the Fire HD with a 8" screen would be a bonus. I also have a desktop PC and my wife a laptop, which I bought for her birthday. I built my own PC and I have built many more, but a combination of worsening disbility and other medical conditions, means I cannot do that anymore. I am an ex-engineer with a brain that has to be active.

After seeing the price of the Fire HD, with a case costing £8.99, my wife became angry. What followed was an explosion, obviously held in for a long time and totally unexpected. Based upon the fact that her parents had left us most of the money we now have, she said that we would not have anything if we had not been left that money, which she obviously now looks upon as hers. This ignores the fact that my parents died first and left us a few thousand, which we used to set up home when the kids were younger. Both of us had been left with nothing by our former partners. I was thunderstruck: we have a joint account and have always done everything together financially.

She went on to say that she never wanted the laptop (which, strangely, she uses every day) and cannot understand why I want a computer, what I do with it, and why I have such a fascination for what she calls "gadgets". I replied that I simply want to read Kindle books properly. She then said that we never do anything or go anywhere, to which I replied fine - where do you want to go? What do you want to do? She could not answer. The plain fact is that when she wants to go out, she cannot make a decision about where to go, or what to do. I always have to decide, not that I want to, but she is incapable of making a decision.

I still love her, but she is driving me crazy. I am not confrontational with women, although I have a violent past from my youth it was always fights with other men. I could never hurt a woman and this argument is hurting me badly. Now she is not talking to me and that is worse than if I had been physicall struck. I am at a loss. i know that, if we were to breakup, the kids would be heartbroken. I don't know what to do and she will not talk to me.

Dird

He's been abusive for 2 of the 3 years, why didn't you leave before getting pregnant or abort & leave...did you think a 4th kid would solve the relationship issues?

belinda729 wrote: »

he doesn't like me redecorating or keeping things looking nice

This is also indulging. I went from 4 to 21 without my bedroom wallpaper being changed once. Living room pillows never need replacing

Pollycat wrote: »

Perhaps the OP & her ex-partner could afford to have kids at the time they had them.
You can't just pop them back where they came from when you split up with someone and your financial situation changes.

Yes, but you could stop churning out more when the new guy clearly isn't very wealthy

People are suggesting she leave but how many guys are going to accept someone with 4 kids from 2 dads & would she not be worse off financially depending on the state?

Marvel1

belinda729 wrote: »

I have no issue with him buying things but when he is in so much debt and a need things for the house and christmas a coin is not a priority in my eyes

What do you buy for the house and does the house really need to be decorated?

This money could be saved for Xmas?

Proxima_Centauri

The thread is about a month old and was resurrected today.. has the OP been back on since then?

Pollycat

Robisere wrote: »

I have a completely opposite problem. I married (2nd. relationship, 1st. ended badly) in my early 40's to a lady one year younger, with a son and daughter. In our 70's now and over the years I have grown to love the son and daughter as my own, they are smashing and I love their children with all my heart: thye call me granddad and I have a family that I never thought I would have.

The problem is my wife. She does not want to do anything or go anywhere " ...that will cost money." When asked what I would like for Christmas, I answered with an Amazon Fire HD, which would allow me to read Kindle books and watch TV, screencast etc. I have a budget smartphone which is just too small for my fading sight, so the Fire HD with a 8" screen would be a bonus. I also have a desktop PC and my wife a laptop, which I bought for her birthday. I built my own PC and I have built many more, but a combination of worsening disbility and other medical conditions, means I cannot do that anymore. I am an ex-engineer with a brain that has to be active.

After seeing the price of the Fire HD, with a case costing £8.99, my wife became angry. What followed was an explosion, obviously held in for a long time and totally unexpected. Based upon the fact that her parents had left us most of the money we now have, she said that we would not have anything if we had not been left that money, which she obviously now looks upon as hers. This ignores the fact that my parents died first and left us a few thousand, which we used to set up home when the kids were younger. Both of us had been left with nothing by our former partners. I was thunderstruck: we have a joint account and have always done everything together financially.

She went on to say that she never wanted the laptop (which, strangely, she uses every day) and cannot understand why I want a computer, what I do with it, and why I have such a fascination for what she calls "gadgets". I replied that I simply want to read Kindle books properly. She then said that we never do anything or go anywhere, to which I replied fine - where do you want to go? What do you want to do? She could not answer. The plain fact is that when she wants to go out, she cannot make a decision about where to go, or what to do. I always have to decide, not that I want to, but she is incapable of making a decision.

I still love her, but she is driving me crazy. I am not confrontational with women, although I have a violent past from my youth it was always fights with other men. I could never hurt a woman and this argument is hurting me badly. Now she is not talking to me and that is worse than if I had been physicall struck. I am at a loss. i know that, if we were to breakup, the kids would be heartbroken. I don't know what to do and she will not talk to me.

WOW!
I've read your post on another thread - which I'm not going to link to - but all I can ask is....
Why?
Why are you with this woman?