Am I wrong !

thorsoak

Reading your other threads, I have one question for you - why are you still with this person?

laidbackgjr

I don't think £150 for presents for his one child is unreasonable - it's much more than we will spend per child. The question from me is - is the father of the other 3 children putting in the same for his 3 children?

suki1964

belinda729 wrote: »

We have 4 children only one is his

I think you said before you are a sahm ?

So it's his income you are looking to spend on pressies for ALL the kids?


Cos tbh, £150 is loads of money for a baby

shiny76

belinda729 wrote: »

am I being unreasonable expecting him to put the kids before himself?

No.

But being annoyed at him for spending £450 on a collectable coin would depend on your agreement/arrangement as to how your finances are arranged.

JP08

From the purely pragmatic point of view,
He's bought an asset with value (assumption that this coin is worth £450 and likely to appreciate) that could be cashed in if necessary,
versus
Buying a load of plastic-fantastic shake-it-and-break-it next-years-car-boot-sale-candidate kids junk that they'll ignore-and-still-be-playing-with-the-boxes by New Year ...

Stevie_Palimo

There are always two sides to every coin,

Why is everyone so quick to dismiss this man that they have no clue about or no idea on the full situation, The coin may have cost £450.00 and whilst the OP is annoyed over this cost he is still paying for presents so I really do not understand the issue here.

My OH spends money on stuff that I neither want nor notice half the time but to be honest I think that is what most people do, In my circle of friends this happens anyway and the main thing here is that everything else has been covered prior to this expense.

fairy_lights

If you're struggling to pay the bills then I would agree that it's very selfish to spend so much on a collectable coin, but it doesn't sound like that's the case. If all of your essentials are taken care of and he can still offer £150 towards the kids presents, then spending that much on himself doesn't sound so unreasonable. I'm assuming this isn't a regular occurrence?
If the child you have together is the baby then it doesn't really need presents yet, so that £150 is all going to go on your other kids. Presumably they have their own father to contribute as well in which case it is a fair amount of money.

ognum

Belinda, I think it's time for you to sit down with your partner and discuss your relationship and how you both want it to work.

My understanding, please tell me if I am wrong, is that you have been together 3 years and have one child together and three from another relationship. How does your partner treat the three children that are not his, does he treat them like his own, do things with them etc or are they your responsibility?

I ask because that will colour his opinion of how he should treat them at Christmas, if he feels he has one child then £150 is plenty, a baby or toddler is happy with a cardboard box and doesn't need or want anything. So allocate £10 to the baby. You then have £45 for each child at Christmas which honestly if you are struggling financially is plenty.

I think your unhappiness over his spending is about your dissatisfaction in the relationship. A few weeks ago it was his abuse of alchohol that was the problem.

Reflect on your whole relationship, why are you still with a man who causes you so much unhappiness. If you decide it is the right relationship for you then you need to find a way to come together and discuss the way to move forward. Maybe some relationship help would be a start.

belinda729

Hi I do not have contact with my other children's dad he buys what he wants we don't 'work together' so to speak it's always been this way and works well...

I don't understand the logic my partner only has to pay for the one child that is his ...surely we are a family and that means buying for everyone not just one.

And I very much doubt the coin will be worth what he paid in a few years let alone more.

belinda729

And £150 on there teenagers does not go far these days