38 yrs old pregnant again, feeling down and skint..

shellsuit

joolee wrote: »

I didnt let them go they arranged it without me agreeing
We talked and for once he listened - i thought we had both agreed on what massive changes needed to be made.
it doesnt matter now im not looking for support here i feel as though i have to defend myself

How can they arrange it without you agreeing? They are your children, you call the shots!?

So he listened and you thought everything would be fine....now he has started his crap again ~ what does that tell you?

No matter what happens, the man will never change, you will never feel 100% happy in the relationship and the kids will continue to get a dogs life.

joolee_2

the girls were supposed to go to my friends on the sunday - it was arranged. they told their dad they could go on the saturday and he took them thinking i was ok with it
i didnt know til they got there
it tells me he is a complete selfish and jealous "b***ard

Tashja

Ok, maybe my last post was a bit harsh but here is my problem with this thread.

You first posted in May 05 asking for advice. Loads of people offered you advice, help, hugs, etc and off you went on your way to sort out the problems.

you then posted Aug 07 to say had baby but no change in the way your girls were being treated.

Today you post to say that he was caught cheating, kids left home and wouldn't come back, things are worse and need more advice. This is now 3 YEARS after you first asked for advice and it seems you ignored it or you wouldn't be in this position now ???

That means your 2 precious girls have been suffering mental abuse for 3 YEARS because you keep thinking he has changed and he hasn't. Your girls have tried to get out of it and can't - they have no support from you because you think the sun shines from his !!!!! !!!!

What makes you think any advice you are given today will be any differant to what was given 3 years ago ???

Are you planning on making your children suffer for longer because that is what will happen and they won't like you for it

I am sorry if this hurts but you know what you need to do so you need to do it.

T xx

System

The fact is. He wants you, he wants his son but he doesnt want your girls. Thing is, hes not hiding the fact either is he? No wonder the girls dont want to come home.

Mips

So you feel empowered by some posts, yet can't believe others?

We all have different points of view - I did not notice that the thread was so old, nor that you had updated it twice over the last 3 years.

What I do know is, you stuck by a man who mentally abused your children - your precious young girls, you gave birth to those children and should love and protect them from anything. You haven't done that. You let this man into your life and you pushed them out.

You have a son, I can only surmise how the Son is treated compared to your girls and I can only guess how your girls feel.

I am sorry, but I can't offer you sympathy or feel your pain. I feel for your girls.

You have betrayed them as much as he has betrayed you.

joolee_2

your right im weak and stupidly kept thinking things would change - i asked for all this.
and yes he doesnt want my girls whatever they say or do

Mips

joolee wrote: »

your right im weak and stupidly kept thinking things would change - i asked for all this.
and yes he doesnt want my girls whatever they say or do

Does he very blatantly favour the boy over your girls?

It isn't too late to turn all this around you know Joolee but you have to be damn strong and you have to STICK to it.

It wont be easy, with him being the Father to your Son... but you MUST get rid of the Man to give your girls some bloody chance in life.

Kick him out, see him occasionally.. get your girls back into THEIR home.

joolee_2

ok i no i have to do it

Mips

joolee wrote: »

ok i no i have to do it

You don't have to do anything.

You should WANT to???

miss_pink

Dippychick wrote: »

So you feel empowered by some posts, yet can't believe others?

We all have different points of view - I did not notice that the thread was so old, nor that you had updated it twice over the last 3 years.

What I do know is, you stuck by a man who mentally abused your children - your precious young girls, you gave birth to those children and should love and protect them from anything. You haven't done that. You let this man into your life and you pushed them out.

You have a son, I can only surmise how the Son is treated compared to your girls and I can only guess how your girls feel.

I am sorry, but I can't offer you sympathy or feel your pain. I feel for your girls.

You have betrayed them as much as he has betrayed you.

Couldn't agree more. I know that the advice you are getting is not what you want to hear. We can only go on what you tell us and for three years you have allowed you girls to be treated unfair by your partner. What has their own father said about this?

I think you have expected lots of "hugs" and "hang in there" and "people change when they become a father" kind of answers but unfortunately thats not happened.

"joolee ....thanks for watchin and being interested!! just looking at where i was at 2/3 yrs ago - no change he is a fab ace no 1 dad but no change with my 2...."

Clearly he isn't a "fab ace No1 dad" if he treats your girls this way. He may not be their father but is still the father figure in the house.

I feel sorry for your poor girls. You need to get rid of this loser asap for the sake of your children. You selfish selfish woman.