How much rent should my parents charge me?

Izzy8484

I moved to a different country at 22 (this one). Although I had been living by myself since I am 18 years old, that was nothing compared to how hard it was actually to settle down in another country, do not underestimate this. It brought up a whole new level of anxiety I didnt even know I had.

I was terribly homesick, did not understand basic things like getting a national insurance card. I spoke English but definitely not slang/colloquial British English which made me feel left out, found it hard to settle in my job and so on.

You got a good deal with your mum really.

I have anxiety and I work 40 plus hours a week It is not always easy to get out of bed in the morning but I do it because I like to be able to afford myself nice things and live a comfortable life. Those are the sacrifices you make.

Tammykitty

In my opinion, this is not an adult child of 19 or 20, the OP has experience of "real life".


Unless the parents would take a lodger if the OP wasn't there, I believe a 1/3 spilt of the bills is reasonable


EG:
Council Tax - £120 a month
Electric - £50 a month
Gas - £50 a month
Phone/Internet - £30 a month
Paid for TV - £50 a month


This is the basics and comes to £300 a month - so that's £100 per adult


However the OP also gets use of the car - so should pay the fair share of the running costs of the car (Tax, insurance, tyres, servicing etc)


And also contribute towards her washing as well as the food and things she does use, as I am sure she doesn't buy her own salt and pepper, butter etc

pollypenny

SparklyB wrote: »

I'm female. I have curly hair! Most hairdressers don't even know how to cut my hair properly, never mind me even trying to do it myself. I don't think they have video's on youtube for that haha

I have cut my boyfriends hair in the past using a youtube video, but he has short hair all over, it's much easier. My hairdresser charges me a really cheap amount (cheap for going to a hair stylist, I've been to some places in the past where £70 is a normal amount) because I've been going to her for a long time now, every since I ruined my hair using hair straighteners and had it all chopped off.

Curly hair, you lucky thing. It can grow well, then, unlike straight hair which looks a mess as it grows out of a short style.

Don't use straighteners, enjoy your curls and save the money.

If you're contemplating a move to a new country, I'd call you brave, not anxious. Or any anxiety is self-imposed.

Mojisola

SparklyB wrote: »

I'm in my 30's and living at home again

my Mum wants me to start paying something.

One of the reasons I also work part time is because I have anxiety and panic attacks that I've had for over ten years.

How long have you been living at your parents' house without offering them any money?

As you only work part-time, have you taken on half of the household chores or is your non-working time free time for you?

KxMx

At the end of the day, you are living in someone else's home. They are entitled to charge what they feel is fair.

If you disagree you can always move out or take steps to improve your financial circumstances.

Otherwise, you will have to pay what she is asking, this comes first before any other wants or needs you may have.

Sine your income has dropped, so too should your expectations and financial plans, such as £500 a month in savings.

Voyager2002

fairy_lights wrote: »

Are you seriously suggesting she only pays a fair rent if her parents agree to help her with her wedding costs in return? :eek:
Frankly I don't think it would be appropriate for her to try and haggle over it at all. She's a full grown woman and her parents are already only asking for a minimal amount.

I agree with your main point. And no, my suggestion is not that she insists that her parents help with the wedding, but simply that she ensures that her parents understand the situation and invite them to give whatever help they choose.

Voyager2002

FBaby wrote: »

Your post is quite contradictory. Either you have extra expenses due to your disability, therefore benefit received due to disability is spent on disability related expenses and the savings are not there to be made.

Or you have the money available to save every month, which means that you don't need benefits for the additional disability costs.

You can't have it both ways, say that you have additional costs so need additional benefits, but then decide that you can do without those costs and therefore save it towards something that has nothing to do with your disability.

I said that people with disabilities face extra costs IF THEY CHOOSE to lead the kind of life that most people regard as normal. (For example, a great deal of public transport in London is not accessible to wheelchair users, so going out to a restaurant with friends may involve taxi rides, dramatically increasing the cost.) It is reasonable that disability-related benefits should be enough to cover most of these costs. It is also reasonable that the individual should be free to choose whether or not to spend the money in this way, retaining the option of depriving themselves of a 'normal' life and so releasing significant amounts of money to save.

Voyager2002

suki1964 wrote: »

What disability has the op spoken about that needs additional living components?

She admits she can work, admits she can wash and dress herself, cook and clean, drive, use public transport, work, run her own business, even managed a university course so one assumes she knows how to read, write and communicate


Do you think it's acceptable to fraudulently claim for PIP or DLA so she can save the money to go to America.


For her to get her visa alone is going to be around 16000 USD. Do you think the tax payer should pay for that?

I have no idea whether the disabilities mentioned would be sufficiently severe to merit a claim for PIP or DLA, and of course I do not suggest a fraudulent claim. If she is really so unwell that she cannot cope with a normal working week then she ought to qualify for such benefits; if not then perhaps the "cold shower" advice that others are giving would be what she needs.

ViolaLass

OP, have you offered to do more than your fair share of the household chores in return for paying less rent?

Not saying your parents must accept this but it might suit them.

suki1964

Voyager2002 wrote: »

I have no idea whether the disabilities mentioned would be sufficiently severe to merit a claim for PIP or DLA, and of course I do not suggest a fraudulent claim. If she is really so unwell that she cannot cope with a normal working week then she ought to qualify for such benefits; if not then perhaps the "cold shower" advice that others are giving would be what she needs.

In the ops situation ( from what she has written here and previous posts) she would be allowed ESA for 13 weeks at £73.10p a week and for those 13 weeks all she need do is get her GP to agree that she is not fit to work

Then she will get her assessment and will either be denied, or put into one of two groups for ESA which will then increase to around £105 a week. Having read the ops posts she is likely to be denied ESA and will be passed on to JSA where she will have to sign to an agreement of looking for work for 35hrs, take whatever job is there and if she doesn't , get sanctioned

Someone who travels back and forth to America for months at a time, who manages to drive, go out with friends, work, run a business, manage a university degree, etc etc etc doesn't have crippling anxiety to the effect that she needs a disability allowance.


Here is the ESA work capability form that you have to fill in to get ESA, just so you have some idea how ill you need to be to claim it

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/421191/esa-50-capability-for-work-questionnaire.pdf