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How much rent should my parents charge me?

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  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313 Forumite
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    I know that some people aren't keen on benefits, but I believe that if you are entitled to them you should claim them.

    OP, would you be entitled to any sort of disability benefit?

    If you moved out, would your low income mean you could get housing benefit? If so, would you be better off doing this?


    In terms of how much rent you should pay to live with your parents, I'd say work it out like this...
    * How much would it cost to rent a similar room elsewhere? Lets say £100 a week.
    * How much does it actually cost your parents to have you living there - e.g. gas and electric, insurance, communal food? Lets say £20 a week.
    * Split the difference between the two, and that's what you should pay. With my made up figures, that's £60 a week.


    I sincerely hope benefits don't pay enough to be saving £500 a month on:eek::eek:
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,818 Forumite
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    SparklyB wrote: »
    I'm not sure everyone read my original posting properly, at all.
    I did.
    SparklyB wrote: »
    I don't go out! I don't buy lunch, I buy my own food and make my own. I don't go out for dinner, the only times I mentioned are less than once a month and the last time was someone's leaving do from work. I bought one main course and one drink! My haircut is the ONLY money I spend on myself and mainly because I have curly short hair that grows out every six to eight weeks. I leave it till eight weeks to get it cut. In the past I went for months without getting a haircut and hated my hair. Now I have a hairdresser who knows what to do with it.
    I get all that.
    SparklyB wrote: »
    For some reason everyone seems to think I'm getting beauty treatments, getting my hair done for no reason, and going out for dinner all the time.
    I don't think that at all.
    SparklyB wrote: »
    I am the most frugal person ever. I never pay full price for anything. If I need something I go to TK Maxx and try and find things on the clearance rail. I only buy stuff I actually need, not stuff I want.
    It doesn't matter how frugal you are.
    I think if you stick around on MSE you'll find lots of people who are much more frugal than you are - because they have no choice about it.

    The point is that your Mum has given you a figure that she thinks is reasonable.
    It will leave you with 60% of your monthly pay.

    Actually, I think you should go back and read your own first post.
    It really does smack of entitled-ness.

    I think you posted on here expecting the majority of people to agree with you so you could take it as ammunition to bargain your Mum's £50 per week down.
    It's not worked - it was never likely to - because the £50 pw is fair.
  • Voyager2002
    Voyager2002 Posts: 16,326 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    suki1964 wrote: »
    I sincerely hope benefits don't pay enough to be saving £500 a month on:eek::eek:

    Why?

    People with disabilities have a range of additional expenses if they are to participate in society in a way remotely like everyone else. So there is a need for disability benefits that amount to a substantial amount. The OP places greater priority on preparing for her marriage than on doing the kind of things that are everyday for most people, so if she is willing to forgo a great deal of what would normally be essential she should be able to save a substantial amount.
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,236 Forumite
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    edited 27 July 2016 at 12:48PM
    OK, £50 week / £216 pcm is not unfair in terms of accommodation.

    But, as you say, it is expensive for you.
    So, while I don'tthink that your parents are unreasonable in asking you to pay that, equally I don't think it would unreasonable for you to ask your parents to discuss the amount your are paying with them, to see whether you could come to a compromise.

    For instance, you could ask them what they feel it is costing them, over and above their normal outgoings,for you to be in the house. Make clear that you are not looking for them to be out of pocket as a result of you being there, and that you are happy for them to make a bit of profit to offset the loss of privacy etc, but that as you are struggling to cover basic needs, and to make any savings at all, ask whether you can look together at the household budget and at your personal budget to see whether you can come up with a figure that you both feel is reasonable.

    Are there other things which you might be able to do around the house/garden which might make you, and your parents, feel that you were contributing more in non-financial ways?

    Ultimately, you are almost certianly still living much more cheaply than you could anywhere else, so your parents can't be said to be being unfair. (and if you could live more chaeply elesewhere , then that is your answer)

    The only alternative I can think of is whether you look into other low cost housing options - some areas run schemes whereby an older homeowner provides housing at low cost in return for a degree of home help . companionship - http://homeshare.org/programmes-worldwide/united-kingdom/ - you could consider whether that is something which might work for you and if so, whether anything of that kind is available in your area.

    Do double check whether you arre entitled to any other finacial help - if your illness is evere enough to stop you working full time then it may be that you would qualify for ESA. If not, then looking for a secon, part time job may be your answer
    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • Voyager2002
    Voyager2002 Posts: 16,326 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I know that some people aren't keen on benefits, but I believe that if you are entitled to them you should claim them.

    OP, would you be entitled to any sort of disability benefit?

    If you moved out, would your low income mean you could get housing benefit? If so, would you be better off doing this?


    In terms of how much rent you should pay to live with your parents, I'd say work it out like this...
    * How much would it cost to rent a similar room elsewhere? Lets say £100 a week.
    * How much does it actually cost your parents to have you living there - e.g. gas and electric, insurance, communal food? Lets say £20 a week.
    * Split the difference between the two, and that's what you should pay. With my made up figures, that's £60 a week.

    This is the best advice on the whole thread.

    An alternative approach: rather than merely paying the 50 pounds, calculate a 'fair market rent' for what your parents provide, and pay that. However, make it very clear to them that doing so mean you can no longer save, and invite them to help with your wedding expenses and see what happens. You could also let your fiance know the situation: he earns in dollars so paying your rent would be very easy for him.
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,374 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Why?

    People with disabilities have a range of additional expenses if they are to participate in society in a way remotely like everyone else. So there is a need for disability benefits that amount to a substantial amount. The OP places greater priority on preparing for her marriage than on doing the kind of things that are everyday for most people, so if she is willing to forgo a great deal of what would normally be essential she should be able to save a substantial amount.
    Your post is quite contradictory. Either you have extra expenses due to your disability, therefore benefit received due to disability is spent on disability related expenses and the savings are not there to be made.

    Or you have the money available to save every month, which means that you don't need benefits for the additional disability costs.

    You can't have it both ways, say that you have additional costs so need additional benefits, but then decide that you can do without those costs and therefore save it towards something that has nothing to do with your disability.
  • fairy_lights
    fairy_lights Posts: 9,220 Forumite
    An alternative approach: rather than merely paying the 50 pounds, calculate a 'fair market rent' for what your parents provide, and pay that. However, make it very clear to them that doing so mean you can no longer save, and invite them to help with your wedding expenses and see what happens. You could also let your fiance know the situation: he earns in dollars so paying your rent would be very easy for him.
    Are you seriously suggesting she only pays a fair rent if her parents agree to help her with her wedding costs in return? :eek:
    Frankly I don't think it would be appropriate for her to try and haggle over it at all. She's a full grown woman and her parents are already only asking for a minimal amount.
  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Why?

    People with disabilities have a range of additional expenses if they are to participate in society in a way remotely like everyone else. So there is a need for disability benefits that amount to a substantial amount. The OP places greater priority on preparing for her marriage than on doing the kind of things that are everyday for most people, so if she is willing to forgo a great deal of what would normally be essential she should be able to save a substantial amount.

    What disability has the op spoken about that needs additional living components?

    She admits she can work, admits she can wash and dress herself, cook and clean, drive, use public transport, work, run her own business, even managed a university course so one assumes she knows how to read, write and communicate


    Do you think it's acceptable to fraudulently claim for PIP or DLA so she can save the money to go to America.


    For her to get her visa alone is going to be around 16000 USD. Do you think the tax payer should pay for that?
  • GwylimT
    GwylimT Posts: 6,530 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    This is the best advice on the whole thread.

    An alternative approach: rather than merely paying the 50 pounds, calculate a 'fair market rent' for what your parents provide, and pay that. However, make it very clear to them that doing so mean you can no longer save, and invite them to help with your wedding expenses and see what happens. You could also let your fiance know the situation: he earns in dollars so paying your rent would be very easy for him.

    If her parents have any sense they will charge a fair rent (as they are doing) and will forgo funding anyones wedding but their own.
  • suejb2
    suejb2 Posts: 1,918 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Would your mortgage provider or landlord let you pay such a low amount so you can save to fund you overseas life? I think not so why expect your parents to? Don't take the mickey.

    I know nothing of anxiety but you cope/manage enough to go to uni, run a business ( however successful), have a relationship and plan to live abroad.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
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