How much rent should my parents charge me?

SailorSam

SparklyB wrote: »

I'm not sure a lot of people here have had experience of anxiety. I'm not talking about nerves a little now and then. I'm talking about crippling anxiety and panic attacks. Panic attacks several times a day that leave you shaking and freaking out. One's where you can't leave the house. I was once agoraphobic for several months and worked extremely hard to get over that. Forgive me if I don't want to go back to feeling like that every single day. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

If you stay with us here on Mse you'll find there are many here suffering crippling anxiety, we know exactly how you're feeling. There are lots of old threads where posters have poured their hearts out.

FBaby

Do your parents agree that your anxiety is preventing you from working full-time. Personally, if my children were in your situation, able to study fr a degree and capable of contemplating moving to a new country and making a life there, I wouldn't be convinced that working full-time wasn't an option, at least I would want to see that they were giving it a try. I wouldn't allow a child of mine to remain in my house who thought that contributing £200 a month at the age of 30 was unreasonable.

ziggy2004

GwylimT wrote: »

You're offended that you cannot live somewhere for free? Living there costs your parents money, space and privacy. If they aren't paying for anything of yours then how much do you pay for water, heating, electricity etc?

I charged my son the going rate for a room in a shared property (around £400 per month) I used this to pay a utility bill per month, the rest was put into savings. If he was respectful, paid on time etc then this money would be given to him to use as a deposit towards a home, he didn't know about this arrangement, he did pass the personality test and was extremely grateful. If I didn't have the financial luxury to do this I would have used his rent for living costs and saved some to tide myself over when he moved out.

My parents did this when I was 18/19 and I am still very grateful to them

OP - how much it costs your parents for you to live there does not matter, at 30 you cannot expect to live somewhere for free. Life generally does not work that way, if your parents are generous enough to charge you less than the going rate then that is a wonderful bonus not something you have a right to.

If you stop being self employed will you get tax credits again? If it is not financially viable maybe use the creativity as a hobby for now so you can still get the positive sides to it.

Pollycat

I think you need to separate your anxiety issues from what is a reasonable amount of rent to pay.

Your parents are clearly aware of your anxiety issues and your Mum still feels that £50 per week is fair.

SparklyB wrote: »

The whole reason I moved back home was that we agreed that it was pointless me moving out and trying to save money. The whole idea of me being here was so I could save money. I don't have any debts, I don't have any credit cards. Any money I've borrowed from my parents in the past I paid back, with interest!

Yes £50 isn't a lot but when my wage is £480 a month, it's over 40% of my wage.

You need to look at this a different way.

Because you are living with your parents, you will still have 60% of your pay left after paying what most people who've replied to your thread think is reasonable.

If you were living in a place of your own, I doubt you'd be paying £50 per week including utilities, so you would have less money left from your wages and may not even be able to afford to stay in that accommodation.

SparklyB

SailorSam wrote: »

For over a year now i've cut my own hair. I'd never done it before. I paid less than £30 for an electric trimmer on Amazon and watched things on YouTube to see how it works, now i'll trim my hair a little every week or two. If you've only got short hair you'd find it dead easy. And if you have anxiety, and nervous about going out, you'll not even have to visit the hairdresser.

I'm female. I have curly hair! Most hairdressers don't even know how to cut my hair properly, never mind me even trying to do it myself. I don't think they have video's on youtube for that haha

I have cut my boyfriends hair in the past using a youtube video, but he has short hair all over, it's much easier. My hairdresser charges me a really cheap amount (cheap for going to a hair stylist, I've been to some places in the past where £70 is a normal amount) because I've been going to her for a long time now, every since I ruined my hair using hair straighteners and had it all chopped off.

tea_lover

If you can pay £30 every 8 weeks for a hair cut then you can pay £50 rent (which is really cheap).

I'm sorry if it seems like people are being harsh but the reality is that you are already getting an absolute bargain by staying with your parents. It's really not fair on them to expect to stay there for free when you're spending a lot of money on things like hairdressers and going out for dinner.

SailorSam

This is an old similar thread to yours, what's a fair rent to pay.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5460744

AylesburyDuck

It's difficult, i get that OP, i truely do.
My daughter suffers from anxiety as a symptom of a life condition that has no cure EVER so trust me i know its hard.
HOWEVER......
You're 35, and life just doesnt work the way you're seeming to hope it does. Add to which your parents are probably thinking and worrying as well because they arnt going to be around forever as a safety net. And to my thinking and probably theirs as well they are making adjustments now to make sure that you'll be ok.
It's what parents do, it's their job!
But at some point, you're just going to have to suck it up, life is unfair, but how you react will in no small way contribute to how life progesses.
Many many people cant save, many many people suffer anxiety but have to get on with it anyhow or loose their house/life/family.
Sorry OP, life has handed you a lemon, time to make lemonade and get on with it.
Pay your mum and pull up the big girl pants.;)

suki1964

Whilst I'm not dismissing your anxiety issues, have you not ever thought that there's plenty of us around with the same kind of issues that don't have the luxury of flaffing around with creative things, or only working pt cos we get tired punching in a 40 hr week, week in, week out, because we have to pay rent/mortgages, rates, energy and food bills?

Its called real life

You won't have that luxury in America. There's no state handouts and no free healthcare. You will have to show that you can support yourself

You can't afford to save on the money you are earning. Your self employment is obviously not viable as you haven't been making money from it at all. Time to realise that's a hobby and save it for evenings and weekends. You have to find more hours that pay a wage somewhere.

Sorry if that's harsh but that's life

SparklyB

tea_lover wrote: »

If you can pay £30 every 8 weeks for a hair cut then you can pay £50 rent (which is really cheap).

I'm sorry if it seems like people are being harsh but the reality is that you are already getting an absolute bargain by staying with your parents. It's really not fair on them to expect to stay there for free when you're spending a lot of money on things like hairdressers and going out for dinner.

I'm not sure everyone read my original posting properly, at all.

I don't go out! I don't buy lunch, I buy my own food and make my own. I don't go out for dinner, the only times I mentioned are less than once a month and the last time was someone's leaving do from work. I bought one main course and one drink! My haircut is the ONLY money I spend on myself and mainly because I have curly short hair that grows out every six to eight weeks. I leave it till eight weeks to get it cut. In the past I went for months without getting a haircut and hated my hair. Now I have a hairdresser who knows what to do with it.

For some reason everyone seems to think I'm getting beauty treatments, getting my hair done for no reason, and going out for dinner all the time.

I am the most frugal person ever. I never pay full price for anything. If I need something I go to TK Maxx and try and find things on the clearance rail. I only buy stuff I actually need, not stuff I want.