How much rent should my parents charge me?

.j.e.j

Can't comment on the OP, of course, but it can be very frustrating when people think anxiety disorder is someone 'feeling a little bit nervous'. Like saying someone who has depression is 'feeling a bit down'.

I can understand why people might think that way, if they are lucky enough never to have suffered from what used to be called nervous illness. But it is an illness and is actually very debilitating.

suki1964

.j.e.j wrote: »

Can't comment on the OP, of course, but it can be very frustrating when people think anxiety disorder is someone 'feeling a little bit nervous'. Like saying someone who has depression is 'feeling a bit down'.

I can understand why people might think that way, if they are lucky enough never to have suffered from what used to be called nervous illness. But it is an illness and is actually very debilitating.

No one is saying it's not an illness and that is can be very debilitating, what is being questioned is the suppsosed severity of it in the ops case

She states agrophibic tendencies, melt downs, exhaustion, yet posts a completely different story.

It can't be both ways

Doom_and_Gloom

16 hours a week times £7.20 (living wage for those 25+) = £115.20/wk. Okay £50/week keep plus paying for 'most foods' sounds rather high out of that wage but is actually really good. I think the amount asked for by the OP's mother is more than fair.
No it's not going to get you £500/month savings but £40/week is still perfectly possible and more than a lot of people with the same income can manage.
OP I like others dont quite understand how your anxiety is fine with the idea of moving to a completely different country but not okay with working more hours, possibly full time. I've not got anxiety issues but when my partner and I talk about the possibility of moving country in the future to a country that is in need of people in his career I panic somewhat, as does he. The idea is amazing. The possibility of experiencing a different place etc but then the reality hits and we can't not worry. It is something that we have to think about though as it would benefit his career and so our lives but it is not something to take lightly hense the worry. I can't see how someone with anxiety issues would be able to contemplate such a huge thing/change but not be able to tackle more work?

Voyager2002 wrote: »

I said that people with disabilities face extra costs IF THEY CHOOSE to lead the kind of life that most people regard as normal. (For example, a great deal of public transport in London is not accessible to wheelchair users, so going out to a restaurant with friends may involve taxi rides, dramatically increasing the cost.) It is reasonable that disability-related benefits should be enough to cover most of these costs. It is also reasonable that the individual should be free to choose whether or not to spend the money in this way, retaining the option of depriving themselves of a 'normal' life and so releasing significant amounts of money to save.

As a wheelchair user when I go out I have to disagree with your pont about London transport; I travel by bus into zone two at least once a week. Sometimes, when possible, I'll take the train as well to make the travel time shorter. To my knowledge all buses are accessible; although there can be a battle from time to time with the automatic ramps not working or due to people with buggies not giving up the priority space. The vast majority of train stations have lifts or are step free and a ramp can be requested by staff to get on and off if the train and the platform are not level. The DLR is completely accessible although some have largish gaps you have to be careful about or have a slight hight difference but it is possible. The underground isn't completely accessible but those that are are labled; buses can be used when needed.

pickledonionspaceraider

Like in Peter333 story, I have a close friend whos daughter in her 30s has just moved back home - and like the woman in Peters story - the parents do not want the daughter there as she has taken over, and the parents have no privacy into their retirement. Resentment has set in to some degree

They are struggling to ask her to go as although they do believe the daughter has depression, it is not possibly as bad as the daughter would have them, and everyone else believe... but the guilt gets to the parents as the daughters potential vunerabiity should she be forced to fend for herself a bit more and they worry that much that the daughter would cope that they are literally ruining their own lives trying to help, but it is not helping any one of them

The mother is even now on anti anxiety tablets herself as the mother and father are often at loggerheads due to the daughters lifestyle and habits - they are really struggling with this and its awful to watch. I feel like going roiund and kicking the daughters butt

sharp910sh

I pay £33 rent a day!!!

System

Anxiety is somewhat a subjective issue, we don;t know how severe it is or how it affects the OP.

I too work part time due to my MH issues, but i do get tax credits as a top up. However i still pay £65 a week to live in a shared house, i have no savings (and £2000 of debt) and i;ve worked out if im lucky i will be debt free and have a deposit saved sometime in the next 15 years (i'll be 45 by then so that pretty much rules out having kids).

My Mh issues thought stable at times, means there is no way i could ever envisage moving to another country, so that makes me think perhaps the anxiety is more controlled, if it were less so then OP could be entitled to PIP and TC's but its doubtful with what they;ve posted so far. I do understand that with Mh issues its not just as simple as getting a second job. I occasionally do more than my contract 16hrs but i struggle, this week and next im on 30 hrs and mentally i am exhausted and only just holding it together. A second jo would not work for me as 1)i cant get set shifts at my current place of work and 2)i wouldn;t cope iwth even more hours. maybe the Op feels the same so i dont want to be too harsh in judging them for what they can work.

Pollycat

annandale wrote: »

The OP is wrong in the respect that she's saving too much on not enough income. But lots of people have jumped on the smallest thing. I saw a comment saying that she'd be working from home and using a lot of fuel. Where did she say that? She's buying her own food. She'll be using electricity or gas to cook it and fuel costs to wash and dry clothes but what else?

And the cost of water to wash her clothes?
And the cost of water to have a shower?
And her share of the cost of heating the house during the winter when she's at home all day (apart from the 16 hours per week she works)?
She's buying

SparklyB wrote: »

most of my own food as I'm a vegetarian, so cook my own meals.

so I guess she'll be using fridge/cupboard staples like milk, coffee and stuff like washing powder and loo rolls that she hasn't paid for.

Laconic

I feel for you and not in the 'but I manage anyway' way. I'm just writing to ask if you're getting any luck with mental health care, whether through a therapist, your GP or even a support group. If not, may I strongly recommend that you do? It will really help you now and for the future.

Your fundamental problem right here doesn't appear to be the rent, but your lack of income. Were you making £300 a week, the £50 would feel like the least you could do. You wouldn't feel trapped as you'd be making enough to satisfy US immigration services, and your mom would probably breathe easier knowing that you had the option to move, even if you weren't exercising it that moment.

So my question is: is there any way you can boost your income without putting undue stress on you, even informally? An extra tenner a day would pay your rent handily and leave you all your work income to save. I think it's something worth working towards, while keeping yourself on a functional keel.

Good luck and take care.

silvercar

Pollycat wrote: »

And the cost of water to wash her clothes?
And the cost of water to have a shower?
And her share of the cost of heating the house during the winter when she's at home all day (apart from the 16 hours per week she works)?
She's buying
so I guess she'll be using fridge/cupboard staples like milk, coffee and stuff like washing powder and loo rolls that she hasn't paid for.

Does £50 a week cover it?

thorsoak

silvercar wrote: »

Does £50 a week cover it?

Plus use of car (no maintenance nor paying for insurance)