How much rent should my parents charge me?

Pollycat

silvercar wrote: »

Does £50 a week cover it?

My post was aimed at this poster

annandale wrote: »

The OP is wrong in the respect that she's saving too much on not enough income. But lots of people have jumped on the smallest thing. I saw a comment saying that she'd be working from home and using a lot of fuel. Where did she say that? She's buying her own food. She'll be using electricity or gas to cook it and fuel costs to wash and dry clothes but what else?

who mentioned fuel costs and asked "what else".

I have no idea how much it costs to support a 30 year old who buys some of their own food and works 16 hours a week, doesn't go out (so will be in the house almost all of the time) and has use of the car.

The OP's Mum feels that £50 is fair.

emsywoo123

suki1964 wrote: »

No one is saying it's not an illness and that is can be very debilitating, what is being questioned is the suppsosed severity of it in the ops case

She states agrophibic tendencies, melt downs, exhaustion, yet posts a completely different story.

It can't be both ways

To be fair, this was FBaby's implication exactly in post #131.

Detroit

I agree with the majority view that the amount asked is perfectly reasonable.
However, even if it were not, it hardly matters, given this is what the OP has been asked to pay.

It's her parents home and their choice whether they charge market rent, token rent, or nothing at all.
They have chosen, and surely that's all there is to it.
The OP accepts the terms or makes other arrangements.

As for the idea the OPs feelings have arisen due to her parents moving the goal posts after agreeing to help, she should realise that they are still helping, as there is no other option under which she could live so cheaply, or save anything at all on her income.

My only advice would be to avoid upsetting her parents by arguing about this.

The OP is a great deal more fortunate than many to be enjoying the support of her parents at a stage in life when the majority of people would expect to be functioning independently, and perhaps even providing their parents with support.

She should not risk alienating her parents with further demands.

d70cw6

typical entitled special snowflake millennial.

Pollycat

annandale wrote: »

Nowhere did she say that her family have money worries. She said that they have savings and pensions and that her dad is still working. Their mortgage is paid off.

She actually said this:

SparklyB wrote: »

it's worth mentioning that my Mum is retired and my Dad is coming up to retirement in August and currently works part time. They don't have a mortgage as they paid it off a while ago and they have pensions and savings. My Mum has always panicked about money (which she has passed onto me) and is worrying about how much they'll have. She say's they can't keep supporting me. I take a bit of offence to that since I actually don't take anything from them, apart from living in the house which they both had agreed I could do because of my current situation. I don't borrow money from them, they're not paying for anything of mine.

To me, that says the OP's Mum does have money worries.
They will lose her Dad's part-time income in the next month and possibly pensions will not compensate for that.

Do you really think it's OK for the OP to worry about not being able to save as much money as she wants to but it's not OK for her Mum to worry about the financial problems caused by supporting an adult daughter?

fairy_lights

d70cw6 wrote: »

typical entitled special snowflake millennial.

she's 35...

Mojisola

warby68 wrote: »

If its just a simple question of is £50 a week fair? Of course its fair, its a gift and no more than a token gesture towards the real cost of supporting yourself.

And doesn't even start to compensate the parents for the loss of their privacy and the effect on their lives of having someone else in the house most of the time.

suki1964

emsywoo123 wrote: »

To be fair, this was FBaby's implication exactly in post #131.

I didn't read that at all in that post

I read that Fbaby feels avoidance of anxiety isn't the way forward in terms of treatment, that exposure is

I actually agree with that sentiment as I've dealt with some pretty delibitating MH issues by having to do exactly that

paddy's_mum

warby68 wrote: »

its a gift

This, in a nutshell, is why so many responders have felt niggled by the OP's attitude.

She simply hasn't seen what is being given to her already nor grasped the value of the parents's support, with or without money changing hands.

jemb

LilElvis wrote: »

Surely the OPs partner should be the one able to save significant sums towards the visa/relocation/wedding as he must be earning enough to support the two of them once she moves?

Depends where she's moving to. A lot of Countries you have to how how much savings you have before entry to the Country. It also depends on type of visa she's going on and what type is acceptable in the new country.

I think rather than the negative you need to focus on the positive. How much do you need saved before you can move to be with your OH? Work out how long that's going to take you. If you have anxiety, perhaps you like your home comforts and not being away from what you know. I have anxiety, I know what it's like. I also like what I like so get up in an am, look after my 2 year old, go to work - a company me and my Husband own and do what I need to do to maintain what I want to maintain. The main point there is everyone is different. Have you looked on freelancer websites? Perhaps you could earn some more money when you're not at your job to put towards the move? Perhaps the thing you like doing is on those sites and you can earn extra cash?
Another question, what is the support in the new country like for anxiety? You need to research this to enable yourself to have a fair start.