Apart from Samaritans is there anyone to speak to?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters
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  • SystemSystem Forumite
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    dekaspace wrote: »
    Well its one of those things I never understand rather than me being lazy or anything back in the early days of leaving home technically even my whole life which I think is quite normal really is no matter if I had 8 hours or 10 hours I always hated waking up and wished I had a bit longer what might be a tad different is I left out other things to get sleep so I would jump out of bed say 8.55am go to bathroom have a wash and fresh clothes (no shower) and go out and be at class by 9.30am start pretty much on the dot, now I can't function without a shower if not at least 20 minute one but that part of my brain is conflicted between the same as years ago when I want to wake up and not waste time and not being able to function without a shower, I often joke to myself if I had a way to freeze time when I got up in morning that way I could have a shower shave, breakfast etc and not rush I would find it perfect. just like similar I often wished I could stay up all night and 10 seconds before I am meant to wake up freeze time and sleep for 8 hours then wake up but of course only 10 seconds had passed not 8 hours.

    Sorry a little mad side story but thats the way my brain works.

    What used to happen years ago when I lived local to parents (years after the death) my parents would always cook too much and bring me leftovers so I ate well and didn't really crave much after that as had a proper meal but my home town was tiny and high rent and no work so moved.

    A way to validate what people say and link it to my feelings is I am trying to find that middle ground, when I wake up early I feel I have all day to do something so don't rush, but then also think I have sat around for hours doing nothing so I feel bad either way so that part is motivation its getting my brain to kick in and understand and focus less on the two extremes.

    That and when I surround myself with stuff to do be it collections of books, dvds/box sets, fast internet, games consoles etc I feel perhaps overwhelmed is the best word because theres so much to do I will lose out on something but if I had nothing I would feel empty but also enjoy what I had as it was all I had again its finding the middle ground.

    So thats me side storying again rather than talking about things that failed, I am trying to find that middle ground as I say where I don't overwhelm myself but don't do nothing either so whilst one step at a time is correct what step is the best to start?
    The best steps are as my cpn once told me baby steps (she also loved making me make bloody lists :p tbh they did help somewhat)

    Trying to do everything at once is overwhelming. I prefer to try and break down things into small manageable chunks. So (sorry lists again) maybe make a list of things you want to ahcieve for that day. Then go through the lst and sort out which things are important and need to be done today, and which things are less important. Bug things for me are sorting my edbts and losing weight, but i can;t take on both at the same time so my main focus right now is trying to save mney and pay off the debt. Thats the big scary thing i need to tackle this yeah. but on a smaller/daily scale things like having a shower, making sure i;ve eaten, making an appointment, getting to work etc, those are the little things i can focus on. I know for most people any of those things is not much to do, but when you have mental health problems something as simple as having a shower, getting dressed, eating, they are huge things. So if making a list migt help tick off those things. That way you feel like youve achived something even if its just small.

    You said you've been to the library the past few days. pershaps for tomorrow or the day after could you set yourself the goal of finding yourself a book to read? The day after maybe set a goal to read a few chapters? That way you've given yourself goals and some kind of routine?

    I'm afraid i have no experience of austism/aspergers so i'm sorry if my suggestions aren;t helpful in your situation, i'm viewing it more form the MH side which i have some expereience of. :o
  • dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    I suppose also a interpretation is that years ago there was many things like summer fayres on or even jumble sales at local churches/schools/care homes and that as a teenager or young adult gave me something to do to the point I always wished I could stay out longer as our bus home as we lived in countryside was 1pm and not another to 4pm, I often found if I decided to wait to 4pm I was bored by 2pm and wished I got earlier bus so part of what I liked years ago was I didn't have so many options and there was always something I missed (in a good way) as I chose something else which was also good.

    The biggest burdens are on the autism side more than MH side in my mind, I can't just half do a job so if I read a book even if I start 1am in morning I and its 1000 pages I have to read to end so that affects the MH side as I end up not trying as I know if I do something I have to do it right to the end even if its the dullest book on earth, that I hope doesn't sound like an excuse as I wish I could just do things in short bursts.

    The positive I used to get from that is I could watch some awful tv shows and movies that everyone else cringed and refused to watch (and is why I can still watch old Doctor Who) as I gave them a chance because I had to watch it to end.

    I agree on the little things thats why I argue in threads such as when people talk about benefit claimaints, when you had nothing simple things can be as impressive as someone who had at least something getting something more, it shouldnt be thats all you have achieved its a well done, its a step in right direction lets aim for more which going back to my original post was why I needed someone there to collect my thoughts so it was more "ok I did this what next" I sort of need someone there in a everyday scenario to suggest something rather than say online giving a generic list of many things as lets say I don't feel good about the idea of something that person can mention a postiive about doing that specific thing if not even a very specific bonus doing it there and then and that will motivate me which then will make me feel good and want to do more and every day I will feel that tiny bit better about doing something so eventually I can do it myself.
  • SystemSystem Forumite
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    loking it up online, would a befriending service be of use to you? from what i can gather you get mathced with someone who is there who can maybe help motivate you to do things, someone who can maybe direct you? not sure what area you are in but they seem to have various ones nationwide.

    i'm very lucky in that my bf acts as the one to motivate me (even if it does embarrass the hell out of me when he gently reminds me i;ve not showered for 3 days and need to have one :o )
  • dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    I've been Money Tipped!
    I did in the past have free carer from a charity and he was amazing but there was a shake up internally and he was moved to a different position and new carer/motivator came to see me once and decided I needed no help, she really was a miserable piece of work! I ended up paying £15 more a week than I was rent as she told me I was underpaying and I could get done for it (she was meant to be liason with landlord and I had written proof I was paying agreed amount) actually shouted down at phone at me a few times including one when I said I wanted to make a complaint about her and even her colleagues in the charity said she had multiple complaints (how she kept the job I don't know let alone got it in first place)

    Thats a little side story sorry but I was given a befriender from there but I met him once and he never rang me again which I don't know why as the first session was supervised by a charity worker and said they paid £10 towards something like going to cinema and his expenses.

    Wouldn't mind one but I would prefer someone who actually knew me and wanted to be there rather than one who was paid but that may be wishful thinking.
  • GlasweJenGlasweJen Forumite
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    Well this is actually my mastermind subject as I'm originally from the "northern corridor" that was moved back to NHS Lanarshire in 2014 and have had many an issue since with family members referrals. If you're in Rutherglen, Cambuslang or Muirhead you're now under NHS Lanarkshire.

    Their programme is called eLAment. There's some degree of self referral and they have a resources library. They also have their course books online to work through at home if you wish.

    http://www.elament.org.uk/service-directory/community-mental-health-teams-(cmht)/MobileServiceOrganisation.aspx

    There used to be a guide to discussing mental health with your GP and a form you could fill in to help with the GP consultation but I'm not finding it.

    If all else fails you can ask to be seen in GG&C if the waiting lists are too long as Lanarkshire have to provide care just like any other health board do. They do send people to Glasgow to try make waiting list times. The only problem is Glasgow can agree to see you then give you an appointment for any of their hospitals including the RAH in Paisley which is a nightmare to get to. The CMH teams are in Partick, Shettleston and Govan, there might also be one at DIGG in Maryhill. If you need a psychiatrist then you'll likely be pinged back to Lanarkshire for that.

    I'm surprised you got assessed for autism as an adult in Lanarkshire, they refused to test me as a child and my mum ended up going private then years later refused to test my brother even though there's a family history and he was having really destructive behaviours and a childhood with lots of problems at school. I think your GP is more understanding than you're giving them credit for and the reality is for most people living in central Scotland is that they go undiagnosed until they save the money to go private and then the NHS refuse to acknowledge their private assessment anyway.
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  • dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    I've been Money Tipped!
    Thanks, well it wasn't the Lanarkshire GP that got me assessed for autism I used to stay in Ayrshire, the current surgery I am at I have one friendly doctor and one who is always quite dry and dull and never prescribes anything.

    It was Ayrshire I had good social work, welfare rights and doctor support its just a shame it was where my mental health took a nosedive due to all 3 landlords I had over a 7 year period (not 7 years in a row I moved away and came back) tried illegally evicting me, had identity theft at two of places, drug dealer neighbour at one (with same landlord) two of them the roof was collapsing one of which mould was growing so bad on the walls that I called enviromental health out who said it was at the point where its not dangerous now but will be a risk to health if it got worse and landlord twisted that to say "EH said theres nothing wrong with the property" and of course that was same property I had bi polar flatmate so have such bad memories of that town.

    I stay near 2 hospitals in Lanarkshire but no idea if they do stuff there.
  • GlasweJenGlasweJen Forumite
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    Lanarkshire tend to be community based in health centres to keep the costs down.
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