Apart from Samaritans is there anyone to speak to? 15 June 2016 at 5:15PM edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters 87 replies 10K views

dekaspace

A huge part of my mental health problems is I have no one to speak to (and a little no one to hang about with too but not as much)

Lets say I am not sure if I want to go to town, or order in a take away, or go to supermarket because I haven't been out in a few days having someone to speak to helps me (and someone to go with even more but the main thing really is at least talk)

I have a friend who visits for like 3 days every 2-4 months but he is a bit miserable as he complains about paying bus fares to town so ends up sitting indoors for 3 days, and rarely has a conversation as so often he says "I can't be bothered" or "not interested"

So as I say I want someone to organise my thoughts, someone there is a bonus in the sense lets say I wanted a night out but was tired they could motivate me (partly as company) and I have someone to talk to on the way.

I suppose you could say what I need is a friend but I think of it it simpler terms.

Advice?

DomRavioli

You sound like you need a therapist - you should be able to motivate yourself, and if you're struggling, a therapist would deffo be able to help with this.

You could pay for a carer to help, or get some friends who are willing (but you seem unlikely to do this as you have dismissed that you don't need a friend "in simpler terms") to help you.

I don't think the samaritans should be used for what you're asking for, but by all means carry on using them.

Depending on your diagnosis, you could get a befriending service (MIND usually run these, as well as local third sector services).

Maybe try moodgym, its free, online, and can help with some of the things you seem to be struggling with (setting and keeping boundaries with friends, motivation etc).

GlasweJen

If you join anxiety uk you can get heavily discounted therapy either in person or on the phone.

baxie

You could search for mental health services in your area on the internet/web. In fact the MIND website is very helpful in itself. Also your local council may have a list of helpful places in your area like a befrienders service or a mental health drop in centre.

Ames

I can only talk about my area, but there are groups funded by social services that provide social contact for people with mental health problems. The ones I know most about meet weekly at a coffee shop. One used to have groups to go to the gym, they'd meet at a pool hall once a week, have a walking group, go to nearby towns... The less formal one goes to the theatre, cinema, other social things. There's also an arts centre that do classes.

I'm not sure how you'd find out about them if you're not already in the system though. Your GP might know?

dekaspace

When I say I don't need a friend I mean I need something to motivate me more than a friend automatically.

I need someone I can explain my thoughts to who can process it in a non official way (like a care worker) back when I had support workers (who never turned up which made my mental health worse) they were useless partly due to them being lazy I explained I need motivation and discussion and their support was just either asking me what I wanted to do without discussion or saying "lets go for a walk around the block" nothing else apart from saying if we drove anywhere I had to pay petrol myself

I no longer have a social worker, did email local MP over a week ago but they never even bothered to get back to me and local autism group closed down.

I "feel better" when doing something but always too tired to start, and I get so many conflicting thoughts like when I was younger before I had MH issues and just nerves and anxiety (basically teenage strops but for genuine reasons) I got things out of my system fast and at most if I still felt bad by bedtime by morning I was refreshed.

What is conflicting now more than anything is if I do one thing be it watch a movie I want to play a game instead, but then I also want to leave the house as not gone out for a few days, whatever one I do either I stop doing it within a short period, don't even start or do it and miss out on another thing so my mind is focused on what I didn't do.

Part of that reason is I am uncomfortable when outside or around people and "relaxed" at home but often to the point of I switch off my mind, when I go for a walk or up town my mind is clearer and I can get a little excited about when I get home I can play a game or watch something but literally minutes after I do I suddenly shut down.

Ames

I'm not clear if you have things you want to do and need motivation to do it, or if you need to find someone to help you think of things and do them? My advice would be different depending which it is.

GlasweJen

Now that I know where you are I'm afraid there's not much available at the moment. Have you been in touch with DIGG in Maryhill? Not sure but they might be able to put you in touch with someone.

dekaspace

Ames wrote: »

I'm not clear if you have things you want to do and need motivation to do it, or if you need to find someone to help you think of things and do them? My advice would be different depending which it is.

Hard to say, I like to do the simple things even be it play a video game but as my MH means I stick in house for days it just means I don't leave the house should I play the game.

You could say I have things I want to do, since I keep dropping out of college due to extreme anxiety and thinking I will fail or I am exhaused mentally when I get up.

So hard to explain but whatever I do means what I don't I feel I lost out on because I am so out of the loop, even if I wake up first thing in morning instead of going up town I feel wrong, lets say I start a college course and I am up at 8am I think when I am on the way that its been so long since I had a whole day to enjoy myself so lets skive college and enjoy myself then I feel bad as I have destroyed my chances.

So I get conflicting emotions.

DomRavioli

You need to see your GP. They can get you the help that is out there - they are a gateway for so many services. The tiredness is a side effect of anxiety; if you can get some help for your self destructive behaviour then you may just find a way out of it.

dekaspace

The GPS I have had in the time since then have gone to all extremes, from outright refusing medication and saying I need therapy but none is available due to waiting list, offering me medication but no support, offering me CBT but the therapist saying nothing they can do and just saying get a better sleep pattern and diet, go out more etc and GPs saying exactly the same.

The best doctor I had was the one that prescibed me something, as she was also the one that got me a quick autism assessment, and helped me sign off but wasn't able to arrange support, only moved from that area as had drug dealing neighbour, identity theft at 3 properties over 5 years, illegally evicted twice, every landlord I had in that time refused to pay back deposit.

So I wish I had the doctor and support I had then but in area I live now.

I was thinking of moving to area with better support but I can't handle change, it will be expensive and for the most past I am settled here for first time in years.