Apart from Samaritans is there anyone to speak to?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters
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  • dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    Sleeping and diet does almost nothing though to the point where at most late at night I feel a tiny bit more relaxed but still too weak to do anything.

    Its quality of sleep more than anything, if I had a bad day before the MH issues it took a good nights sleep to get the bulk if not pretty much all of the bad feelings away (what was left was more I felt less like going out and exploring and more I wanted a relaxing day) which is why say on a rare occasion when I have a drink it knocks me out even if bedtime is no different so I get amazing dreams so I feel far more refreshed in morning so can handle things more.

    Just going to bed at a good time and getting 8 hours sleep doesn't do much if anything.

    I shave only in the shower as any other time it hacks my skin which is also why I need to be in for at least say 10 minutes other reason is I sweat less when I have longer shows the short ones just wash away the sweat but skin is still sticky so I cannot focus without a shower and I do shower daily but its for a long period like 30-40 minutes as I do everything at same time such as shave then after I get out of shower I need at least 15-20 minutes to catch my breath so to speak so I don't feel rushed about otherwise I will be like "oh I have to go out, is my wallet/bus pass in the bag" even if I already packed things the day before ready.

    Cooking is more two reasons in itself, I am unsure if meat is cooked well enough so I overcook it so its rough, plus even if it turns out ok I am self critical of my own food, I think even a third reason is more autism based that I see pre prepared food as psychologically more filling as its complete since then I have the meat veg and potatos there plus linked to that a home cooked meal if I had something of everything my brain is full rather than just shoving like a large piece of meat onto a plate and eating till I feel full, the rare chance I actually make a proper meal I feel fuller than just cooking a lot of meat.

    The one thing I cook ok is mince which I make into a chilli (which is more chuck in everything from veg to chilli and curry powder and hope it turns out ok) and sometimes chicken since its easy to cook but marinating it is a problem.

    When I say people don't understand is more life in general, I say something and people focus on the negatives not on here or this thread in general people expect me to know better or think I am being ignroant/racist/sexist/homophobic whatever I generally try and be the middle man in dicussions for example when its one sided so list things from another point of view and its assumed I am causing arugments or not taking the main argument seriously it can get frustrating being accused of things when you are trying to just balance out something.

    Basically even if I got a good nights sleep it in itself would be more damaging in some ways as would mean I have the whole day to do nothing since I again can't collect my thoughts and would mean by bedtime I am barely able to stand and thus get a bad nights sleep as feel extra weak than usual.

    So I need a good nights sleep, and something to do the next day which doesn't involve rushing about or freaking out if I sleep in which is why I crack a lot now, tell me I have something good tommorow like a free open day with freebies, even if I get to bed early I might not be able to sleep so end up by time I fall asleep and get 8 hours I have missed the start of the event and maybe its only on for 2-3 hours, or I wake up early and more tired than usual so I am slow then think oh no I have to rush to get there and freak out.

    Which is again why I need someone there to help me even if is just to focus.
  • suki1964suki1964 Forumite
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    Ok I'm out. Unsubscribing as no matter what help and personal experience people are offering, you are adamant you can't help yourself
  • dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    suki1964 wrote: »
    Ok I'm out. Unsubscribing as no matter what help and personal experience people are offering, you are adamant you can't help yourself

    Who said I think that? No that goes back to me being misunderstood again.

    I listen to points of view and put my own across as a debate/discussion.

    So that response has ended up frustrating me.

    What I would say like I said in another post and related to me putting my opinion on every response is I have already tried a lot of things over the years that didn't do anything so reccomendations are only what I have already done.

    Don't take it as not taking advice and as well don't think I won't try it again in the future, I try and change my sleep pattern and diet fairly regularly but like I say I need the actual root of my issues sorted rather than deal with making the consequences of the issue less.
  • AmesAmes Forumite
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    suki1964 wrote: »
    Ok I'm out. Unsubscribing as no matter what help and personal experience people are offering, you are adamant you can't help yourself

    I think I'm joining you.

    Dekaspace, I know where you're coming from. I didn't think that I could deal with my problems until I got to the bottom of them. But I was wrong. I'm on the waiting list for therapy but I'm dealing with the symptoms. Hopefully that'll make the therapy more successful.

    If you had a deep cut in your arm you wouldn't leave it until you could get to A&E for stitches, you'd press a cloth to it during the journey.

    And with that I'm out, I don't have the energy to help someone who doesn't want to be.
    Unless I say otherwise 'you' means the general you not you specifically.
  • GlasweJenGlasweJen Forumite
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    You need to work your way into a routine. I work 3 days a week, have hospitals to attend and visit family.

    On a work day I'm up at 7, hair done by 7:15 (I have a lot of it), get dressed and pack my breakfast and lunch and get picked up at 7:40. I'm at work until 1:30, come home for 2, set the roomba to go, get changed (I wear a uniform). One day I'll then go to the library, another day I'll go shopping and on the other my sister used to visit but I will probably be getting taken to see her now as she had a baby recently.

    On one of my days off I'm up at 8, breakfast dressed and showered by 9, hospital at 9:30 and I'm in until lunch and then need to go home to sleep as the tests they do make me very ill - my mum sees to me on that day.

    On the other day off I get up at 8 and the carers come. They get me dressed and take me out for messages, collect prescriptions, browse the shops and sometimes get a coffee.

    At the weekends I go out with OH on Saturday, we usually go somewhere with the dog and have lunch out. On Sunday I visit my granny.

    Lists help, if you list what needs done you can work your way through the list and it feels good to tick things off.
    Bounts, Quidco, Shop and Scan, Receipt Hog, Costco Cashback, Debit card cashback

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  • DomRavioliDomRavioli
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    dekaspace wrote: »
    Who said I think that? No that goes back to me being misunderstood again.

    I listen to points of view and put my own across as a debate/discussion.

    So that response has ended up frustrating me.

    What I would say like I said in another post and related to me putting my opinion on every response is I have already tried a lot of things over the years that didn't do anything so reccomendations are only what I have already done.

    Don't take it as not taking advice and as well don't think I won't try it again in the future, I try and change my sleep pattern and diet fairly regularly but like I say I need the actual root of my issues sorted rather than deal with making the consequences of the issue less.

    You're not willing to help yourself.

    You have dismissed every single idea put forward.

    You need professional help, you are refusing to both use self help or professional help and until you do both nothing will change.

    I'm out as well. Absolute pi55 take.
  • edited 22 June 2016 at 5:06PM
    dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    edited 22 June 2016 at 5:06PM
    DomRavioli wrote: »
    You're not willing to help yourself.

    You have dismissed every single idea put forward.

    You need professional help, you are refusing to both use self help or professional help and until you do both nothing will change.

    I'm out as well. Absolute pi55 take.

    I have NOT dismissed things I mentioned I have tried them already and either it didn't work or I slipped back into old ways.

    Notice the things I haven't tried or I haven't done much of I don't write about, I write about things I already tried and failed.

    AT WHAT POINT DID I SAY I WON'T DO THE THINGS

    That part is really down to my autism, it makes me come across one way when the reality is different, I then get angry when people make assumptions.

    FYI I will try and change my diet again, I am just saying its probably going to fail rather than dismissing it.

    The pi55 take is your accusation.

    FYI also I asked for things like therapy from doctors over the years and been refused due to waiting lists, if I didn't want help or willing to try why would I ask them? Why would I contact my MP mentioning the cuts to the local social work and also local autism groups? Why would I apply for college courses even when I assume Im going to fail? Point is I try anyway, when people mention things I have already done I am saying I already tried it but got nowhere, and will try again and that the autism side makes other things difficult even without MH issues.

    Did you know I went to library last 3 days? I didn't know what to get out but just window shopped, thats the autism not the mental health stopping me from getting books out, the mental health is whats stopping me enjoy reading a book.

    My problems are a combination of autism and mental health, people have applied non autistic mindsets to the situation which comes accross as not listening when its totally the opposite its why earlier in the thread I wrote I write thanks when all is over rather than individually and also why I have a problem with being understood correctly (that again is autism)

    A huge part of things is how my autistic mind conflicts with itself, I have always had that even before MH issues, if I didn't have autism the MH issues would go away.

    Its the autistic part of me that gives my brain conflicting information which translates as struggling with changes rather than me not doing something.

    Id say its "easier" to treat the autistic side first than the mental health side as its the autism that is stopping me from changes to routine however good they are rather than the mental health that embraces changes so the two conflict.

    Finally so you know before I even wrote the thread I asked my doctor for therapy and got a phone call yesterday giving me an appointment for it.

    The final problem is to write everything I feel would take enough detail I could write a few pages on here along and still forget something important and even then theres so many ways to write things and each has its own interpretation.

    Accusations of not taking advice are actually more harming than anything as it disregards what I have already tried or will try because it ends up frustrating me more so with an already stressed head it means longer to do things.
  • DomRavioliDomRavioli
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    dekaspace wrote: »
    I have NOT dismissed things I mentioned I have tried them already and either it didn't work or I slipped back into old ways.

    Notice the things I haven't tried or I haven't done much of I don't write about, I write about things I already tried and failed.

    AT WHAT POINT DID I SAY I WON'T DO THE THINGS

    That part is really down to my autism, it makes me come across one way when the reality is different, I then get angry when people make assumptions.

    FYI I will try and change my diet again, I am just saying its probably going to fail rather than dismissing it.

    The pi55 take is your accusation.

    FYI also I asked for things like therapy from doctors over the years and been refused due to waiting lists, if I didn't want help or willing to try why would I ask them? Why would I contact my MP mentioning the cuts to the local social work and also local autism groups? Why would I apply for college courses even when I assume Im going to fail? Point is I try anyway, when people mention things I have already done I am saying I already tried it but got nowhere, and will try again and that the autism side makes other things difficult even without MH issues.

    Did you know I went to library last 3 days? I didn't know what to get out but just window shopped, thats the autism not the mental health stopping me from getting books out, the mental health is whats stopping me enjoy reading a book.

    My problems are a combination of autism and mental health, people have applied non autistic mindsets to the situation which comes accross as not listening when its totally the opposite its why earlier in the thread I wrote I write thanks when all is over rather than individually and also why I have a problem with being understood correctly (that again is autism)

    A huge part of things is how my autistic mind conflicts with itself, I have always had that even before MH issues, if I didn't have autism the MH issues would go away.

    Its the autistic part of me that gives my brain conflicting information which translates as struggling with changes rather than me not doing something.

    Id say its "easier" to treat the autistic side first than the mental health side as its the autism that is stopping me from changes to routine however good they are rather than the mental health that embraces changes so the two conflict.

    Finally so you know before I even wrote the thread I asked my doctor for therapy and got a phone call yesterday giving me an appointment for it.

    The final problem is to write everything I feel would take enough detail I could write a few pages on here along and still forget something important and even then theres so many ways to write things and each has its own interpretation.

    Accusations of not taking advice are actually more harming than anything as it disregards what I have already tried or will try because it ends up frustrating me more so with an already stressed head it means longer to do things.

    You've been advised of having better sleep hygiene, to see your GP, to start self help, to eat better, and to start looking after yourself.

    That has been met with "I did it years ago" - when by your own admission you had more control over your life; you have been very dismissive.

    No GP would refuse to refer you to therapy because of waiting lists. You can refuse to go on the waiting list, but the GP has a duty of care to ensure your health is as best as it can be. It is also likely you can self refer for therapy, most CCGs now have this service. And by your own admission above, it was always available - and you will receive a service.

    You come across as a whiny not willing to help themself person. therapy (most likely CBT) is based on self help principles - if you refuse to help yourself then there's no point going and wasting precious resources.

    You've also had some very constructive suggestions as to who to approach about your issues, and some ways to deal with your issues. they have all been batted aside, in some ways quite abruptly and rudely. That isn't anything to do with autism (I've worked with people all over the autistic spectrum for 6 years, and although they may be different, they aren't offensive), possibly your MH, but stop blaming it on a diagnosis - that is the first place to start.

    Perhaps when you recover your manners from wherever you left them, then people will be receptive to you.

    And if you ever speak ill of me again, I will report you.
  • dekaspacedekaspace Forumite
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    DomRavioli wrote: »
    You've been advised of having better sleep hygiene, to see your GP, to start self help, to eat better, and to start looking after yourself.

    That has been met with "I did it years ago" - when by your own admission you had more control over your life; you have been very dismissive.

    No GP would refuse to refer you to therapy because of waiting lists. You can refuse to go on the waiting list, but the GP has a duty of care to ensure your health is as best as it can be. It is also likely you can self refer for therapy, most CCGs now have this service. And by your own admission above, it was always available - and you will receive a service.

    You come across as a whiny not willing to help themself person. therapy (most likely CBT) is based on self help principles - if you refuse to help yourself then there's no point going and wasting precious resources.

    You've also had some very constructive suggestions as to who to approach about your issues, and some ways to deal with your issues. they have all been batted aside, in some ways quite abruptly and rudely. That isn't anything to do with autism (I've worked with people all over the autistic spectrum for 6 years, and although they may be different, they aren't offensive), possibly your MH, but stop blaming it on a diagnosis - that is the first place to start.

    Perhaps when you recover your manners from wherever you left them, then people will be receptive to you.

    And if you ever speak ill of me again, I will report you.

    I am angry but I am trying to be respectful, if you worked with people with autism you would realise certain things occur, I "blame" my autism in the sense it stops me being "normal" in the sense it stunted my social development, it meant that I had conflicting interests going up, one half of me wanted to stay in and play video games even in my very late teens, one half wanted to socialise and whatever I did I felt at least a little upset I lost out on another it was simple things in the brain, so yes autism is to blame for that, MH problems just meant due to the way my autistic brain functioned I couldn't do things to improve easily so in that sense as well I can "blame" autism.

    And where am I lacking manners apart from the time someone makes a negative comment I respond to such negative comment?

    Trying to work out why you think I am being offensive when you are the one that accused me of taking the pi55.

    I did get CBT once and at 3rd session I said I felt a little less low than usual as it was nice weather and was taken off for being "better"

    I had got referred to CBT last year at current address who came round once and said all they can do is recommend I have a better diet and sleep pattern and attend autism group.

    So yes I did try just like I tried to change diet and I tried to change sleep pattern, how is that not trying to help myself?

    There was certain things I found almost impossible before MH problems so its not exactly going to be doable when I do (but doesn't mean I won't try)

    Again if you understand autism you would think maybe like I said earlier my brain processes every individual thing but won't think about the whole lot until the end hence why for example I don't give thanks until a discussion is over then I can think things over.

    And the whole point as well is why I said things along the lines of treating the root of the problem, not that changing diet or sleep won't help but the help will be far less efficent or useful than treating the root not that I won't still try.

    If you look at my thread history I have started threads before in OSM asking about food tips, health tips etc.

    About the being referred, even the one said it was a long waiting list and 6 maximum sessions (not per year thats total) and bear in mind I live in Scotland where it could be different though in England I was told they were so swamped there was no point more than they wouldn't refer me in that it was a year if not more to get initial assessment. I did however get reffered for autism but that in itself was a intentionally bad system, it had a 6-12 month waiting list and their get out clause was at random points they would send you a letter giving you 7 days from the date of letter to phone them and confirm you still wanted assessed or you were removed from the system and had to be referred again from GP.

    Each surgery has treated me different my best was last town I stayed by far as it was only there I got reffered for autism tests, got disability benefits etc, she even prescribed anti depressants not for depression but extreme anxiety no where else would do much.

    So shorter way again is saying I have tried things in past, listed the issues I had when doing so, meant that I doubt it will work but I will try.

    Rather than the assumption I am just being dismissive.
  • tomtontomtomtontom
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    A fantastic young man has just been on the local news. You could learn a lot from him, it's amazing what a change in attitude can do for you - he's got a job, a car, goes on holidays - and he has Aspergers.

    http://www.nottinghamshire.gov.uk/pressreleases/show/council-service-supports-people-with-learning-disabilities-into-employment

    The interview with Bradley will be on the East Midlands Today website/ Facebook page tomorrow. Maybe you'll take a look?
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