Confronting the 'other woman'

Prothet_of_Doom

Can I give an opinion as a Married bloke with kids.

IF I ever did anything like the POS in the original post, I would expect my wife to rip my genitals off using a tow rope and a car.

I certainly wouldn't expect to continue living in the same house, or to be allowed to try and discuss my problems or make excuses.

Prothet_of_Doom

PinkPeach wrote: »

Thanks for your comments. I feel frozen with fear at the moment and haven't been able to summon the courage to tell him it's over - .

I think you have done well not to murder him in his bed. Sounds like a !!!! to me. Suggest you see a solicitor ASAP.

hollydays

Do not doubt yourself . You've done nothing wrong.
Do you want to have ' a chat'? That suggests two reasonable people exchanging views..is he going to be reasonable .

Or do you need to just tell him your intentions.
You need your friends right now .

Person_one

Have you told anybody in real life about what's happening?

When you separate, he will have to pay child maintenance, and you will be eligible for some extra tax credits, possible benefits depending on how much you work/earn. Is there no way you could pay the mortgage alone in your new circumstances? I don't see why you and your daughter should be the ones to leave your home if you can possibly stay.

thorsoak

Dear Peachy Price - start thinking of yourself as a strong woman - which you no doubt are! You've brought up your baby, gone back to work and you have survived - despite having a millstone of a man around your neck!

Don't start preparing long speeches - just pack all his stuff into black binbags, and leave them on the step. And put the sneck on the door, so that he cannot get in! He says the marriage is over? OK - show him what "over" really means.

You WILL manage financially - he will have to pay maintenance for your little girl, and you will find that yes, love, you can do it. xxx

justme111

Why do you think you need to have "a chat"?

BrassicWoman

justme111 wrote: »

Why do you think you need to have "a chat"?

If she needs to, she needs to. It may have been over in hs head for ages but it's new to OP.

There's no one right way to do this.

Peachy Price, you are doing great. Stay strong. You deserve to be treated well.

I'd sell the ring; you need to gather your emergency funds.

prowla

Some of the posts on here show real hatred towards somebody they've never met.

Pollycat

prowla wrote: »

Some of the posts on here show real hatred towards somebody they've never met.

And some of the posts on here show real empathy/sympathy towards somebody they've never met.

Stange, huh?

OP - you mention you've looked at rental properties online.
I would really recommenrd that you follow the advice below:

duchy wrote: »

Can I suggest you do some research.

Go to the benefit calculators and work out exactly what you are entitled to in benefits as a working single Mum (increased child benefit, tax crdits etc) and then go to the child support calculator and see how much he legally has to pay you for support for your daughter. You may be quite surprised to find it's enough to more than manage.

Do you have family or friends nearby (or has he driven them all away another classic abuser tactic to isolate their victim)

Here is a link to the benefit checkers:
https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

You could also consider going to the CAB or maybe get an appointment for a free half-hour session with a local solicitor.

duchy

prowla wrote: »

Some of the posts on here show real hatred towards somebody they've never met.

What a strange comment.

I don't think you can hate someone you've never met (although obviously you may feel differently- we're not all the same. I see support for a woman struggling with a difficult situation and disgust for the actions of a man who clearly has no respect for his marriage and wife.

To translate that into hatred is a bit of a leap though.