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Can men and women be friends?

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  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,874 Forumite
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    mikeeboy wrote: »
    My answer to this has always been no.

    There are always exceptions and I'm sure there are many successful man/woman friendships, but I suspect a much higher percentage lead to other things.

    I can't see any husband accepting the thought of their wife having more fun with their male friend than they do with themselves as an OK situation. Same in reverse.

    It's just not healthy for people in relationships to have friends of the opposite sex. It's maybe more acceptable in later life, when the 'sex thing' diminishes a bit?

    In my opinion.

    Its not a case of having more fun with a friend than with my husband, what a silly idea. My husband is my best and closest friend and the most important person in my life but there is room for other friends as well.

    Why isn't it healthy, I think of friends as just that and my sex life with my husband is not relevant in any way.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

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  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,444 Forumite
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    catmiaow wrote: »
    I hate my husband being around when I have friends over because that is my time with my friend, it isn't quality time. Nothing to do with him being male.

    And when you have this new friend over, it can be akward cuddled up watching a DVD with your Husband around ;)
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,691 Forumite
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    Peter333 wrote: »
    I don't know any older people who don't want their partner around when they are with their friends. It sounds awfully childish and petty. It's basically 12 year old girl behaviour.

    It seems perfectly reasonable to me if your partner and the friend(s) don't share particular interests. You don't want to bore your partner so talk about mutual topics when both are around, but can't you miss a good in depth chat with the friend about sport/music/whatever when the partner is there too?
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  • heartbreak_star
    heartbreak_star Posts: 8,286 Forumite
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    cjdavies wrote: »
    And when you have this new friend over, it can be akward cuddled up watching a DVD with your Husband around ;)

    You can watch films without being "cuddled up" *eyeroll*

    HBS x
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  • marleyboy
    marleyboy Posts: 16,698 Forumite
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    Originally Posted by catmiaow viewpost.gif
    I hate my husband being around when I have friends over because that is my time with my friend, it isn't quality time. Nothing to do with him being male.
    I wonder if he hates you being around when he invites his friends to watch the football, embarrassing him with your childish horseplay. Or does he not invite them around, nor ask you to go to your friends so he can invite them?

    Maybe he just gets narked that whenever you decide to invite your friends around for a cuppa, he has to go out because you hate him being around his\your home.
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  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    marleyboy wrote: »
    I wonder if he hates you being around when he invites his friends to watch the football, embarrassing him with your childish horseplay. Or does he not invite them around, nor ask you to go to your friends so he can invite them?

    Maybe he just gets narked that whenever you decide to invite your friends around for a cuppa, he has to go out because you hate him being around his\your home.


    He doesn't like football and he doesn't socialise much.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

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  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    Bogof_Babe wrote: »
    The OP here is wanting to get from another man some sort of closeness and confiding that she possibly is not getting from her husband.

    Your partner should be your best friend. You should be able to relate to them on a far deeper level than any other friend or acquaintance (except maybe your mum!), and all other friendships should be secondary.

    Not wanting your husband around when you are having "friend time" is the thin end of the wedge. I'm surprised he is so laid back about it tbh.

    He is always around but I do like some time by myself and with my friends.
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,444 Forumite
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    catmiaow wrote: »
    He is always around but I do like some time by myself and with my friends.

    So you go out instead with your friends and he has friends around.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,351 Community Admin
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    Torry_Quine wrote: »
    I agree. Also if you feel you don't tell your spouse/partner about meeting up.
    i've never lied or felt the need to cover up that i'm going to see my male friend. My bf is absolutely fine with it, he knows our history and has no issue with it (i imagine the fact said friend is happily in a relationship and has a kid probably helps). He had a female friend from work ask if he wanted to hang out but asked him if it would be ok with me. I told him to tell her not to be silly and that its absolutely fine, i'm not going to tell him who he can and cant see and im confident enough in this relationship to know he has no romantic feelings towards her or would cheeat
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • catmiaow
    catmiaow Posts: 5,954 Forumite
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    Chlorine7 wrote: »
    You missed my point. So again - I answered whether men and women can be friends.

    To me the first part of the post and the second part are two different points. She hasn't been able to stay friends with straight males in the past. She asked is it possible. This is in fact the question part of the OP.

    Currently she wants to be friends with someone she is attracted too. I hadn't at first referred to that.

    The attraction part doesn't matter
    No you're not a vegetarian if you eat any animal or fish, so do not insult genuine veggies by calling yourself one! :mad:

    Thanks to everyone who posts competitions. You are the stars of the board :T:j:T
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