Can men and women be friends?

Angry_Bear

Pollycat wrote: »

As a female I have lots of male friends but I don't find any of them attractive.

^^ This.
And if I was asked "are they good looking", my answer would be pretty much the same as it would be if you asked me that about my female friends, "I dunno, I suppose so."
The second I even started thinking "ooh, they're attractive" it would put a whole different spin on the "friendship" for me.

Pollycat

Chlorine7 wrote: »

This is an immature question. Of course they can be friends. I have plenty good friends that are male and I actually made friends with a guy this weekend at a wedding. No attraction what-so-ever, we just bonded over the fact that we are both super geeks. Only a few girlfriends have ever had a problem with me and it was their jealousy issues not a 'me' issue.

So very different from the OP's situation.....

catmiaow wrote: »

I met a guy at work who I find attractive (he doesn't know this) and we have sort of started a friendship, but i am a bit worried about continuing as I don't want things to get awkward at work.

74jax

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Well it doesn't bother me if I arrange to meet my sister and one of her female friends tags along. The more the merrier .

So is it the fact that there's a bloke involved, making the mix of male-female unequal?

I think you've read it different to me. There's no difference in friends being male or female.

It was asked how op would feel if new male friends brought his gf along. I said, as did HBS, I'd feel a bit of a gooseberry, but if I could then bring my hubby then no problem. Ie make it a double date.

If I knew the gf and she was a friend that would be slightly different too.

catmiaow

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

I have both male and female friends and my OH is fine about it and she has a couple of male friends to that she says are like brothers, I believe it is about trust and at the end of the day we both trust each other 110%.

In the OP's situation I think it is going to end drastically wrong here with the so called friend and her ending up in bed very soon should this progress to day's/night's out, I say this due to your wording and phrasing of things in this thread and can see only one word :- D I V O R C E on the horizon that is unless your husband is maybe a secret swinger.

We won't end up in bed, we are friends.

catmiaow

Lambyr wrote: »

Personally I do believe men and women can be friends. I do believe that even if there is some level of attraction men and women can remain just friends. I say this from personal experience.

However I don't believe men and women can be just friends when there is both a level of attraction and a desire to conduct this "friendship" absent of one party's OH. If it was a friendship it wouldn't matter whether the OPs husband was present but that she's trying to keep him away suggests that she is either hoping something happens with her friend, or she doesn't trust herself not to make it obvious to her husband that she fancies this other guy.

I hate my husband being around when I have friends over because that is my time with my friend, it isn't quality time. Nothing to do with him being male.

Georgiegirl256

catmiaow wrote: »

We won't end up in bed, we are friends.

Are you though? Or have you just decided that's what you are going to be? Does he even want to meet up and do things outside of work? All sounds a bit stalker-ish to me tbh.

piglet74

catmiaow wrote: »

I hate my husband being around when I have friends over because that is my time with my friend, it isn't quality time. Nothing to do with him being male.

This is rubbish, IMO

You just don't want to share your new friend with your husband,

*max*

Nothing says "I love my husband and I value my marriage" quite like wanting to be "friends" with another man purely on the basis that you find him attractive.

Stevie_Palimo

catmiaow wrote: »

We won't end up in bed, we are friends.

You keep telling yourself that and wait until you both have had copious amounts of drink in you and an opportunity to carry out a sexual act, Guarantee that if you are a totally honest that you would come back on here in a years time if this friendship lasts to say as much.

Pollycat

Stevie_Palimo wrote: »

You keep telling yourself that and wait until you both have had copious amounts of drink in you and an opportunity to carry out a sexual act, Guarantee that if you are a totally honest that you would come back on here in a years time if this friendship lasts to say as much.

You might as well talk to the wall 'cos the OP ain't listening.

catmiaow wrote: »

We won't end up in bed, we are friends.

catmiaow wrote: »

I hate my husband being around when I have friends over because that is my time with my friend, it isn't quality time. Nothing to do with him being male.

Personally, I find this ^^^ a pretty awful attitude.