Can men and women be friends?

piglet74

I think op has long ago decided the course this friendship will take. She is just hoping for a lot of posts saying, of course they can be friends,

She really wants to go to the cinema with a fella she fancies, hug him at the end of the night, text him etc etc..

No one just hands over their phone number and says nothing! There was obviously something said, ie ring me sometime, or whatever.

You want to have some kind of secret friendship with a man you are attracted to, without your husbands full knowledge,

Does this not sound like your on your way to cheating already?

System

Of course it could always be a wind up.

74jax

catmiaow wrote: »

Nah everyone has it. As for the hug, I hug everyone and only my husband gets cuddles.

Ok, I totally get this. Normally hubby comes and says hello, we chat, then he'll either get bored and say right I'll leave you to it, or something similar.

However I'm confused, I thought you'd only just got to know him? You are now wanting hubby out of the way to tell him secrets? Don't you have long standing friends you do this with?

In my eyes, you've met a guy you fancy. He has returned the attraction. You are married yet like the flirt. So think you'll give being friends 'a go' as you can't do anything else yet - you're trustworthy remember. If you weren't with hubby then yeah you'd go for it, but won't now as you're (happily) married. You want this bloke as a friend, but not a friend of you and hubby. You want to spend time together just you two. You and hubby don't have things in common, you and this friend do. You most probably don't spend time with hubby and both of you don't try to, yet you will try and do stuff with your new best secret sharing friend. We can see where this can lead, you can't add you are wrapped up in this excitement of someone of the opposite sex returning your flirt.

I've been married only 3 years, so still class myself as a newly married - trying to keep it going as long as I can - and fancy the pants off my hubby. Totally! I waited 7 years for the guy to marry me, and still feel the luckiest person alive. Read my threads, me and hubby have completely different hobbies, he spends every weekend out with his mates - girls too - who aren't me and his mates joke they see him more than me, so I do understand a relationshiplike this, although you connect in other ways, put the effort in to other areas of your relationship.

You aren't going to say your inner thoughts about this new friend to us, so just make sure you say them to yourself and decide if 1 friend is worth it.

catmiaow

I'm confused why people think he fancies me. I just want a friendship.

I like spending time with friends one to one and with hubby here, he sort of takes over so you don't feel you have quality time.

74jax

I don't think he fancies you. But possibly to get his leg over etc. He knows you're married so no strings attached for him, you won't want a long term commitment and do he sees it as easy. And probably a chase too.

He honestly just dropped his telephone number on you at your desk and didn't say anything?? That sounds weird sorry.

Bogof_Babe

Something I have heard said more than once is that you shouldn't say or do anything with a member of the opposite sex that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying or doing with the third party in front of your partner.

piglet74

Totally agree 74jax!

We are not being told the whole story,

If you cant be honest on a forum where we dont even know you, are you even being honest with yourself, and more importantly, your husband!

Torry_Quine

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Something I have heard said more than once is that you shouldn't say or do anything with a member of the opposite sex that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying or doing with the third party in front of your partner.

I agree. Also if you feel you don't tell your spouse/partner about meeting up.

LannieDuck

Yes, it's totally possible to have platonic friendships between men and women. Two of my close friends (one male, one female) were housemates together (just the two of them) for years.

Never anything romantic between them. In fact, they've just stopped living together because he's moved in with his girlfriend.

catmiaow

No I am sure he just sees me as a friend and there is no attraction. As for my hubby, there is no lies he knows everything. No lies, no cheating.