Can men and women be friends?

piglet74

How would it be extra awkward...

You have told your husband how you are attracted to this man, and how he's just your type, and he has no problem with you both going to the cinema, so how would it be awkward at all?

74jax

catmiaow wrote: »

Totally, I would not suggest this for a long while...

I would like to watch dvds together. I would suggest coming to my house, but my husband very rarely goes out without me so it would be extra awkward.

Why would it be awkward?

My hubby is often in the house when my friends come round. He pops in says hi and leaves us to it. Similarly if he had a mate pop over. I would not be impressed if he didn't say hi to my guests, that's rude.

My hubby had a female friend he kitesurfed with, talked about her loads. He kept inviting me along but I didn't want to go. Eventually I met this person at a bbq, he was right she was lovely. Now I see her just as much as him and we go out just me and her too.

Having friends round, to me is normal.

You are coming across as this friendship should be secret, separate to your husband.

Oh right, yeah. It's because you fancy him. Silly me.

prowla

I think it is entirely possible to have friends of the opposite sex; I have several and the group of us even have a bit of innuendo, pretty much the same as with the blokes.

I am very comfortable with that and would happily meet & chat on a one-to-on basis with any, but I would probably be surprised and even shocked if the situation arose where there was an implication that things might go "further".

So yes, it is possible.

However, the OP states that they find the other person attractive, which implies there is (potentially) something more.

Pollycat

prowla wrote: »

I think it is entirely possible to have friends of the opposite sex; I have several and the group of us even have a bit of innuendo, pretty much the same as with the blokes.

I am very comfortable with that and would happily meet & chat on a one-to-on basis with any, but I would probably be surprised and even shocked if the situation arose where there was an implication that things might go "further".

So yes, it is possible.

However, the OP states that they find the other person attractive, which implies there is (potentially) something more.

I think the answer to the OP's question:

Can men and women be friends?

is 'definitely yes'.

But throw acknowledged attraction on one side - and possibly both sides - and I think the answer is probably different.

The OP says she has self-control but seems to want her husband out of the way so the friend can visit and watch dvds.
Very strange (and suspicious) to me.

Bogof_Babe

catmiaow wrote: »

Exactly, I have self control and like i said strongly disagree with cheating so nothing will be happening accept a hug.

Previous male friendships have usually not worked out because they have either wanted sex, a relationship or got annoyed at me not being single and ended the friendship.

Oh there's "a hug" in the plan now too? Platonic friendships might end an evening with a quick hug, but if there is attraction it's asking for trouble.

It seems to me that if he was the one who gave you his number, and invited you to his Facebook account, he is equally as attracted as you are.

And he has less to lose.

Peter333

catmiaow wrote: »

Exactly, I have self control and like i said strongly disagree with cheating so nothing will be happening accept a hug.

Previous male friendships have usually not worked out because they have either wanted sex, a relationship or got annoyed at me not being single and ended the friendship.

Funny really; I have managed to have dozens of friendships with females over the past 50 years; married and single, and aged from 18 to 88, and I can honestly say I have never thought about jumping in the sack with them. And I am a straight (happily married) man.

So why does every man you are friends with want to bump nasties with you?

Not being funny catmiaow, but if every male friend of yours IS trying it on with you, maybe it's something to do with you and how you're acting. Because no woman I know has every man she is friends with, wanting to sleep with her.

You put me in mind of a man I know who worked nightshift at a certain hotel chain. Every single time I see him, he claims that a woman came to him on reception and asked him to go back to her room for a bit of 'the other,' or some woman took her clothes off in front of him, or another woman came behind reception and begging him for s-x.

Every single time I see him, he claims some woman has tried it on with him. Oh, and half the time, he takes them up on their offer. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Weirdly, the other 2 men who work on nights on reception, never ever ever get women coming on to them. Just this one. And let's just say he is no Brad Pitt!

catmiaow

74jax wrote: »

Why would it be awkward?

My hubby is often in the house when my friends come round. He pops in says hi and leaves us to it. Similarly if he had a mate pop over. I would not be impressed if he didn't say hi to my guests, that's rude.

My hubby had a female friend he kitesurfed with, talked about her loads. He kept inviting me along but I didn't want to go. Eventually I met this person at a bbq, he was right she was lovely. Now I see her just as much as him and we go out just me and her too.

Having friends round, to me is normal.

You are coming across as this friendship should be secret, separate to your husband.

Oh right, yeah. It's because you fancy him. Silly me.

No just my husband sits there and I don't always like it as sometimes you want to talk in private (if my friends have private things to tell me).

catmiaow

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Oh there's "a hug" in the plan now too? Platonic friendships might end an evening with a quick hug, but if there is attraction it's asking for trouble.

It seems to me that if he was the one who gave you his number, and invited you to his Facebook account, he is equally as attracted as you are.

And he has less to lose.

Nah everyone has it. As for the hug, I hug everyone and only my husband gets cuddles.

catmiaow

Peter333 wrote: »

Funny really; I have managed to have dozens of friendships with females over the past 50 years; married and single, and aged from 18 to 88, and I can honestly say I have never thought about jumping in the sack with them. And I am a straight (happily married) man.

So why does every man you are friends with want to bump nasties with you?

Not being funny catmiaow, but if every male friend of yours IS trying it on with you, maybe it's something to do with you and how you're acting. Because no woman I know has every man she is friends with, wanting to sleep with her.

You put me in mind of a man I know who worked nightshift at a certain hotel chain. Every single time I see him, he claims that a woman came to him on reception and asked him to go back to her room for a bit of 'the other,' or some woman took her clothes off in front of him, or another woman came behind reception and begging him for s-x.

Every single time I see him, he claims some woman has tried it on with him. Oh, and half the time, he takes them up on their offer. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Weirdly, the other 2 men who work on nights on reception, never ever ever get women coming on to them. Just this one. And let's just say he is no Brad Pitt!

I don't act in an particular way, I am just myself and to be honest prior to this there hasn't been any attractions on my end to any of my friends. So this is very new. It has been some time since I had a straight male friend, so it feels very new and in some ways scary.

LilElvis

catmiaow wrote: »

No just my husband sits there and I don't always like it as sometimes you want to talk in private (if my friends have private things to tell me).

And what makes you think that this colleague wants to sit down and have cosy heart to heart chats with you? You come across as having mentally already decided upon the course this potential "friendship" will take. Personally if I meet someone I gel with I see how it goes and what form the friendship will take - it's not just up to me whether we end up as nodding acquaintances, people who keep in casual contact or become best friends who confide our most private thoughts to each other. The only time I have met someone I have liked and have then daydreamed about what course the relationship might take is when I have been romantically attracted to them. Oh wait, that sounds exactly like you and your colleague .........