Can men and women be friends?

Pollycat

Chlorine7 wrote: »

Nope, she also asked.



I answered whether you can have them with straight men.

You can also have a friendship with someone you're attracted too. Chances are, it will eventually pass if you don't want to act on it.

You missed my point.

You posted 'no attraction whatsoever'.

The OP has admitted she is attracted to this man.

So yes - your situation and hers are very different. Just as I posted.

Coinmachine

I was once friends with a girl at work, she was pretty but I didnt think about being with her at all, I think I mostly thought she was out of my league anyway. One evening we went out for a drink as we had done many times previously, good night hug again as many times previous but she kissed me. We had a few months together but it was awkward with work and keeping things secret, and I always thought the worst and convinced myself she didnt like me.

It didnt work out and after that we stopped talking and switched jobs and I never saw her again. In hindsight I often think if only wed stayed friends as enjoyable the time we had together was before my nueroses kicked in. i was too young and immature I guess. I often wonder if she ever thinks of me. I doubt our paths will ever cross again. I am not sure if this is typical or not but that was my one and only female friend.

gonzo127

read some of this and all i can think of is this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCc6O8F-ntQ

although on a sensible note, yes men and women can be friends, in fact my best friend is a woman, and we have been best friends since childhood, nothing has ever happened and nothing will ever happen. but i know others who can not be friends with the other sex because they can not see them as anything beyond someone of the other sex

Chlorine7

Pollycat wrote: »

You missed my point.

You posted 'no attraction whatsoever'.

The OP has admitted she is attracted to this man.

So yes - your situation and hers are very different. Just as I posted.

You missed my point. So again - I answered whether men and women can be friends.

To me the first part of the post and the second part are two different points. She hasn't been able to stay friends with straight males in the past. She asked is it possible. This is in fact the question part of the OP.

Currently she wants to be friends with someone she is attracted too. I hadn't at first referred to that.

lisa110rry

Absolutely, men and women can be friends. Round here, we have what we call "Bridge Club", because we all meet up for dog walking at the canal swing bridge. (We thought of calling ourselves "Swingers' Club" but decided against it.) In the group are a 50 year old female (American Cocker), a 63 year old male (Lurcher aka Scud Missile), a 47 year old female (West Highland White), 39 year old male (2 x Labradors) and me, approaching 60 with a small terrier type mongrel. We visit each others' homes for meals and drinks, care for each others' dogs when needed and water each others' gardens. We are all friends.

fewgroats

Do you find all men alluring, or you are just friends with the handsome ones?

mikeeboy

My answer to this has always been no.

There are always exceptions and I'm sure there are many successful man/woman friendships, but I suspect a much higher percentage lead to other things.

I can't see any husband accepting the thought of their wife having more fun with their male friend than they do with themselves as an OK situation. Same in reverse.

It's just not healthy for people in relationships to have friends of the opposite sex. It's maybe more acceptable in later life, when the 'sex thing' diminishes a bit?

In my opinion.

74jax

mikeeboy wrote: »

My answer to this has always been no.

There are always exceptions and I'm sure there are many successful man/woman friendships, but I suspect a much higher percentage lead to other things.

I can't see any husband accepting the thought of their wife having more fun with their male friend than they do with themselves as an OK situation. Same in reverse.

It's just not healthy for people in relationships to have friends of the opposite sex. It's maybe more acceptable in later life, when the 'sex thing' diminishes a bit?

In my opinion.

So you get married, and all of a sudden you have to 'dump' your friends?

Bogof_Babe

The OP here is wanting to get from another man some sort of closeness and confiding that she possibly is not getting from her husband.

Your partner should be your best friend. You should be able to relate to them on a far deeper level than any other friend or acquaintance (except maybe your mum!), and all other friendships should be secondary.

Not wanting your husband around when you are having "friend time" is the thin end of the wedge. I'm surprised he is so laid back about it tbh.

mikeeboy

74jax wrote: »

So you get married, and all of a sudden you have to 'dump' your friends?

I suspect that topic of conversation causes quite a bit of friction in relationships if friends of the opposite sex aren't going to be dumped.