Feeling very low about breakup

vulpix

Oh dear.Only you can decide but I wouldn't reply.Nothing has changed.At least you know he is being a little self aware.You are not responsible for him,he is not your child.He wants reassurance from you but its not your job to do it.Sorry if its not what you would like to hear.Vxxxxxxxxx

justme111

Just take it at face value - that he missed you (likely with a fraction of pain that you felt though ) , hopes you ok and thinks the ending of relationship is his fault.
I think it is very inconsiderate from him to send you any messages now as he told you friends will not work and relationship will not work.
He is engrossed in whatever issues he has and they are more important to him than you not hurting.
You could reply asking whether his text means he wants you back. There likely to be either no reply or some emotional dribble on him not knowing what he wants.

Newdirections

Hi, I know you already have a lot of replies but I thought I would add my thoughts. I can understand why you are upset, a similar thing happened to me and I think there is something about rejection that really hurts a lot (no matter what the circumstances - even if you aren't in love).
There's no point trying to second guess his feelings. Men do lie - that is for sure. Just because he said all of those nice things to you doesn't mean he felt them. Men can also be really selfish and not think about the consequences until after a woman has already got heavily involved with them.
I really urge you to try and move on and focus on something positive (yourself, your children, even a new man if you want). Don't try to understand what went wrong. just try and understand and work through how you can move on and make yourself happy.

Izzy8484

I totally agree with the poster saying that there might be someone else.

MXW

He has contacted me again, and wants to try again. He has acknowledged that it is all his fault, but that he panicked because he had been single for so long.

PeacefulWaters

MXW wrote: »

He has contacted me again, and wants to try again. He has acknowledged that it is all his fault, but that he panicked because he had been single for so long.

How do you feel about this?

MXW

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

I guess Plan A fell though.

As an aside, are you sure this guy's straight?

Very helpful

justme111

That's great ! That is what you wanted ! Go for it .

MXW

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

How do you feel about this?

Not sure yet. Spoken with him a couple of times on phone, not yet seen him face to face. I think I will reserve judgement until we have discussed this face to face.

FBaby

Not sure yet. Spoken with him a couple of times on phone, not yet seen him face to face. I think I will reserve judgement until we have discussed this face to face.

Good on you not to go rushing back in. Remember his words you wrote in your first post:

He then said he could usually tell if he's going to fall for someone when he first dates them (I assumed from that he meant he hadn't fallen for me)

The main question is: is it you he misses, or your companionship? I would still not dismiss that there might be someone else and things didn't evolve with them as he had expected and so is falling back on you as default.

If I were you, I wouldn't be able to not to give it another chance, but I would do so massively weary and he would need to become an exceptionally good boyfriend before I'd be prepared to let me believe in the relationship again.