Why are some people really tight with their money?

Pollycat

Feral_Moon wrote: »

No, I haven't lost a friend actually. You people just love to make things up as you go along :rotfl:

I think the comment was probably based on what you said earlier:

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Oh, and not forgetting I also saved her a £20 taxi fare by offering to pick her up rather than meet at the restaurant. I guess I really don't need friends like her after all. And people are accusing me of being tight! Okayyyy.

Oh, and there was nothing sneaky or dishonest about it, not on my behalf anyway. I think she was the sneaky one assuming I'd also split her excessively high drinks bill as well as paying for the food!

I must admit that I got the impression that you'd had a bit of a to-do about it.

Feral_Moon

Pollycat wrote: »

I think the comment was probably based on what you said earlier:


I must admit that I got the impression that you'd had a bit of a to-do about it.

It was an attempt at sarcasm based on some of the responses here. No, we didn't have a "to do" about it at all. It was only because she commented that she'd refused to leave gratuity (whilst settling the drinks bill by card) that I felt a bit peeved that she'd short changed the waiter, so I left him the £10 cash tip.

Pollycat

Feral_Moon wrote: »

It was an attempt at sarcasm based on some of the responses here. No, we didn't have a "to do" about it at all. It was only because she commented that she'd refused to leave gratuity (whilst settling the drinks bill by card) that I felt a bit peeved that she'd short changed the waiter, so I left him the £10 cash tip.

Well, you can't blame posters for taking what you post at face value. Well, I guess you can but it's hardly fair.

Just to point out that I've made no comment at all on your posts about the fairness (or not) of using vouchers

Personally I think she was mean to take it out on the waiter (assuming service was good).

Homeownertobe

Feral_Moon wrote: »

No, I haven't lost a friend actually. You people just love to make things up as you go along :rotfl:

You were the one who said you had!

You seem very defensive, though you should bear in mind that you don't need to have a good memory if you always tell the truth.;)

Feral_Moon

Pollycat wrote: »

Well, you can't blame posters for taking what you post at face value. Well, I guess you can but it's hardly fair.

Just to point out that I've made no comment at all on your posts about the fairness (or not) of using vouchers

Personally I think she was mean to take it out on the waiter (assuming service was good).

Thanks. I've been around MSE for a long time now, far longer than my username would denote, so I've seen it all. Sadly, it seems to be getting worse in that anything you post that might relate to a personal experience then gets pulled apart and interrogated as though you are some criminal on trial.

I don't take it personally, just get frustrated that people either can't or won't take what you say at face value. Always looking for a hidden agenda. I'm afraid it says more about their mentality and possibly opens them up to similar accusations if that's what they expect of others.

ETA: the post above, between ours (by Homeownertobe) is a prime example but I refuse to even warrant it with a response.

mark5

I don't know anyone like this. I know quite a few who don't get involved in the office present buying collections bit they don't expect anything in return so not a problem.

Homeownertobe

Feral_Moon wrote: »

Thanks. I've been around MSE for a long time now, far longer than my username would denote, so I've seen it all. Sadly, it seems to be getting worse in that anything you post that might relate to a personal experience then gets pulled apart and interrogated as though you are some criminal on trial.

I don't take it personally, just get frustrated that people either can't or won't take what you say at face value. Always looking for a hidden agenda. I'm afraid it says more about their mentality and possibly opens them up to similar accusations if that's what they expect of others.

ETA: the post above, between ours (by Homeownertobe) is a prime example but I refuse to even warrant it with a response.

A response like the above, I suppose.

Deary me, you are defensive about things you've written in this thread, aren't you?

theoretica

There are all sorts of things which 'normal' people spend their money on where it seems to me that I have a better use for my cash (such as retirement savings!) or would just rather go home and zonk out than go to the pub or meal out. But I don't use 'can't afford it' as an excuse when I would rather not do something.

Serendipitious

I found Feral Moon's experience (and the various reactions to it) very interesting.

I've won a gift voucher for a meal for two at a restaurant and want to invite a friend. The gift voucher covers 2 main meals and no drinks or puddings or coffee afterwards. I'd gladly foot the remainder of the bill but I am concerned that if I do, my friend may then feel obliged to issue a similar invitation in the future, and I don't want to cause any obligation.

So in the light of what's been said, I'm now wondering how to word it so that we can both enjoy the benefit of this. We'd each be driving to the venue from a different direction, which probably means alcohol won't be a feature.

FBaby

At times of hardship, if one of us that was more comfortable had the voucher, it was immediately given to the one who was struggling as nobody wanted anyone to be left out. Or we had an agreement that if we all went out, if one agreed to drive, their drinks and parking costs were covered by the rest of the group.

And that's what friendship really is about. I meet with a few group of friends every 3 or so months and have done so for years. Never had an issues because in the end, we are all looking after each other and making sure everyone is happy with whatever is arranged.

She was perfectly aware before we went out that I had no money to spare

So in that case, why agreeing to go to such an expensive place? I'm sorry but your scenario doesn't make much sense and your story has changed quite through your posts, which is why people are not taking what you say at face value.

I'd gladly foot the remainder of the bill but I am concerned that if I do, my friend may then feel obliged to issue a similar invitation in the future, and I don't want to cause any

You can either tell her you won the voucher but don't tell her that it only covers the food and then pay the rest discreetly. Or you can tell her that you are delighted to be able to invite her and that you really want to make a treat to her and don't want to feel obliged to reciprocate. If she does, then accept it, she might do so because she wants to, not because she feels she should.