Why are some people really tight with their money?

Homeownertobe

Feral_Moon wrote: »

You have such a vivid imagination Fbaby, just love the way you embellish the facts in such an incredible way to support your theory :rotfl:

As for thinking that was an expensive restaurant, far from it compared to the type of places I usually prefer to eat when actually paying for it. As I've mentioned several times now, it was a run of the mill chain restaurant (think Ask, Bella Italia, Cafe Rouge etc) all of which sell over priced mediocre food which I wouldn't dream of dining in without using vouchers to cover as much of the food bill as possible.

And, for the final time, my friend knew beforehand that I was using Tesco vouchers to pay for our food. And yes, it was agreed she would then pick up the rest of the bill and that I, as designated driver, would not be having more than one glass of wine and a coffee. She likes a drink or two so it's not unusual for her to polish off a bottle of wine over lunch.

When the bill arrived she was rather drunk and for whatever reason suddenly decided that she'd got the raw end of the deal by paying cash, hence refusal to pay the gratuity tip. If anyone was annoyed it was me, not her. She later apologised to me. We are still friends. End of story.

It's rather an ever-changing story.

Pollycat

Homeownertobe wrote: »

It's rather an ever-changing story.

Well, it seems Fbaby has finally got it......

FBaby wrote: »

Oh I see my apologies for embillishing the story! So she knew what to expect when it was time to pay but then got drunk and that's why she was upset... so how is this in any way related to the discussion of this thread? Surely it becomes a discussion about how drunkeness impacts on people's perception rather than how people deal with money. Pity you avoided to mention this from the start would certainly have saved me letting my imagination wild!

So why don't you also let it be.....

Feral_Moon wrote: »

End of story.

duchy

Ugh tip dodging - Now that is one of my pet hates .

I've snuck back and topped the tip up before now when someone else was paying (either I was their guest or it was their "turn") and stiffed on the tip. I tend not to go out for a meal a second time with someone who does this. That to me crosses the line from "careful with money" to tight and I find people who do this are usually ungenerous in spirit as well as money so not really people I want to be friends with.

Feral_Moon

Someone hit the nail on the head in an earlier post re: "sense of entitlement". This is something I come up against frequently. People often think if you can obtain goods/services at a discount rate that they are then also entitled to a free share in that entitlement.

I won't offer any personal examples for fear of being ripped yet another hole a la vouchergate but I'm sure you've all experienced something similar.

PeacefulWaters

On the loans forum the OP has just stated "There are a few loans that I have hence my question".

I'd rather be seen as tight than have unnecessary debt.

PasturesNew

I had a friend who was single and earning about £30k/year, having spent 6-7 years working 60-70 hours/week building her business from scratch. Her married sister and husband were both earning about £45-55k/year EACH, in regular 9-5 jobs - and they sent their child to a private school.

Her sister was always pleading poverty and saying how "lucky" my friend was to not have the expense of a child ... not being able to do the simple maths that the child's household income was about 3x my friend's and the cost of living's not 3x as much.

My friend spent weeks saving up the vouchers in the local newspapers, so when they came to stay with her on holiday she could take them to a nice/posh restaurant using the local newspaper offer vouchers ... and when it came to paying her sister snatched them out of her hand and said "I'll get this" as, with the vouchers, it worked out at about £10/head. Then my friend had to pay for the expensive meal the next night, at "full price" (and for all four of them).

Another year she agreed to go on a cruise with her sister/BIL/child - and the child was sharing a cabin with her. On that cruise anything the child wanted was charged to my friend's cabin - and every morning the parents would have a big lie in, assuming my friend would entertain their child until they bothered to get up! She came back from that trip steaming and vowing to NEVER get caught like that again! She'd already paid for the kid's holiday as her sister/BIL had said "split the cost of the holiday between the three of us"

And it was always the same line "Oh, woe is me, we're so poor (on just £90k/year), children are so expensive.... and you're SO rich living alone (on £30k)."

JodyBPM

PasturesNew wrote: »

I had a friend who was single and earning about £30k/year, having spent 6-7 years working 60-70 hours/week building her business from scratch. Her married sister and husband were both earning about £45-55k/year EACH, in regular 9-5 jobs - and they sent their child to a private school.

Her sister was always pleading poverty and saying how "lucky" my friend was to not have the expense of a child ... not being able to do the simple maths that the child's household income was about 3x my friend's and the cost of living's not 3x as much.

My friend spent weeks saving up the vouchers in the local newspapers, so when they came to stay with her on holiday she could take them to a nice/posh restaurant using the local newspaper offer vouchers ... and when it came to paying her sister snatched them out of her hand and said "I'll get this" as, with the vouchers, it worked out at about £10/head. Then my friend had to pay for the expensive meal the next night, at "full price" (and for all four of them).

Another year she agreed to go on a cruise with her sister/BIL/child - and the child was sharing a cabin with her. On that cruise anything the child wanted was charged to my friend's cabin - and every morning the parents would have a big lie in, assuming my friend would entertain their child until they bothered to get up! She came back from that trip steaming and vowing to NEVER get caught like that again! She'd already paid for the kid's holiday as her sister/BIL had said "split the cost of the holiday between the three of us"

And it was always the same line "Oh, woe is me, we're so poor (on just £90k/year), children are so expensive.... and you're SO rich living alone (on £30k)."

To be fair, one person on 30K per year = 30k per person. 3 people on £90K per year = £30K per person. The BIG expense of school fees (c.£15K of TAXED income, so equivalent to £18K to £21K gross income) thereby bringing the family to c£23/£24k per person, not to mention family house needed, childcare needed etc etc - I'd expect the singleton has FAR more disposable income per person to spend!

Their choice to spend it on school fees or indeed to have a child at all, but on the figures you give there, that family will be extremely stretched for money, unless you're going to drip feed a mortgage free home or a huge inheritance etc. A singleton on £30K, unless living in central London, should be comfortable enough.

Pollycat

JodyBPM wrote: »

To be fair, one person on 30K per year = 30k per person. 3 people on £90K per year = £30K per person. The BIG expense of school fees (c.£15K of TAXED income, so equivalent to £18K to £21K gross income) thereby bringing the family to c£23/£24k per person, not to mention family house needed, childcare needed etc etc - I'd expect the singleton has FAR more disposable income per person to spend!

Their choice to spend it on school fees or indeed to have a child at all, but on the figures you give there, that family will be extremely stretched for money, unless you're going to drip feed a mortgage free home or a huge inheritance etc. A singleton on £30K, unless living in central London, should be comfortable enough.

I don't see it that way at all.

I see it as the family of PasturesNew's friend taking advantage of her - in many ways.

They might do it to me once but never again.

They sound incredibly mean, selfish people.

I find it interesting that you split the household income 3 ways (parents plus child) but the holiday was split 3 ways (3 adults) instead of 4 ways (3 adults plus 1 child).

Yes, it is their choice to send their child toi public school but they should expect to foot the bill themsleves, not freeload on other family members.

maz2702

Does not matter which household earns more than the other. At the end of the day she is the child's Aunt not her parent. If she chooses to pay or treat her Sister and/or niece then that is upto to her but expecting her to pay based on their opinion of her income is just rude.
Question - growing up is the Sister with the child the younger one/spoilt as a child/just got a sense of entitlement.