Debt ridden family from hell

pinkshoes

Here is what I would do:

1. MIL to move in with you.

2. MIL to send a letter before action giving them 6 months to return the sum of £140k which was given solely to build a granny annex extension, which they have refused to do. You yourself will have to write a witness statement showing that this was soley what the money was for.

3. If they do not pay it back, take them to court and bankrupt them.


Or... Accept she has been an idiot and move into social housing.

moneyistooshorttomention

On from Pink Shoes' post - and the question is how much equity they have in their house. Presumably their house is worth a reasonable amount (ie they could sell it and release the money tied up in it to repay MIL)? But the snag to that is that they may still have a mortgage on it and a grabby couple like that may even have had a charge put on the house by some loan company they owe money to. It would be easy enough to get a copy of the Title Plan and Register entry for the house from the Land Registry. It would only cost a few £s and the Registry entry shows any mortgage and/or charges on the house.

However - we then go on to what MIL's chances would be of being able to prove they have this much of her money in their keeping and what she handed it to them for.

I'd be willing to bet she has no written proof of how much she has handed over or what it was for.:(

Add the fact that she needs to have a "core of steel" - so they know she really means it and I'm not sure I rate the chances of that either (not with them having the "grandchildren card" they can play).

Yorkshire_Midge

@Moneyistooshort - your analysis is correct. She barely has enough left to build the extension as so much of her money has gone. Moving away to a cheaper area would definitely fly as an idea - but we'd need to chip into that wherever she went. Does seem unfair to move her out of area though.


The solution to this grabbing family is already there in our minds - if MiL has virtually nothing left as will be the case with ANY of the options, they can't take what isn't there. They'd have to move onto some other mug to leech off and that certainly won't be us after what they have done. Suspect the piggy bank being nearly empty


As an aside, they fell out with his side of the family about 15 years ago and have never spoken to them since and wouldn't explain to us why the fall out had occurred. Can't help but wonder if it was the same behaviours.


@Xylophone - she's virtually no sight in one eye from AMD. She doesn't need sheltered accommodation, but we'd want her somewhere where there is a house manager and a Tunstall system just for extra piece of mind. Retirement places like the one she gave up, tend to have communal lounges and activities too. The cost of property around here is so high, that your average standard flat actually costs more than a retirement one because the demand is so high.


@Pinkshoes - with a clearer head this morning, and some really good and supporting comments from everyone on here, I'm sorting my plan out today, and going to see my solicitor tomorrow.

Rosemary7391

I'm not quite clear - has she already given them the money for the extension? Or has she always been intending to pay for it out of money she still has? If the former, there might be some sort of plans, quotes, any bits of paper with the amount of which would show what the intention was? I can understand the desire to make them do what they said they would, but if she can't give any evidence of what was said her legal options are going to be limited, and it seems like it would come to that

moneyistooshorttomention

Hmmm....I'd lay odds on you being correct that this was the reason for the fallout with his side of the family too (ie they grabbed for their money too). I wonder what they are feeling/thinking about this. I wonder if they know they have grandchildren/have ever met them. I wonder if this grabby couple have got anyone lined-up as replacement cash cow. I'm guessing this is coming to the fore now - as they have got an inkling they have about milked MIL dry.

I must admit I would be very curious to get in touch with his side of the family in your position and whether there might be any room for manoeuvre for a "pincer" movement from both sides on this couple..

Yorkshire_Midge

@Moneyistooshort - we don't know the amount for certain, but they are heavily mortgaged and we very much doubt there is enough equity to fully cover the purchase of a flat. We suspect the biggest issue here is they be vindictive towards MiL if forced out, and cut her off permanently from her grandkids - in the same way as they did to the husbands mother 15 years ago (there was just one grandkid back then).


Husband fell out with his own sister around that time too and hasn't spoken to her since either - so I guess you're all seeing the pattern here?

xylophone

@Xylophone - she's virtually no sight in one eye from AMD. She doesn't need sheltered accommodation, but we'd want her somewhere where there is a house manager and a Tunstall system just for extra piece of mind. Retirement places like the one she gave up, tend to have communal lounges and activities too. The cost of property around here is so high, that your average standard flat actually costs more than a retirement one because the demand is so high.

Had you considered renting through eg Abbeyfield?

Some elderly relatives of a relative had a delightful flatlet (sitting room, bedroom with adapted en suite, kitchenette) within such a scheme - facilities such as dining room, communal lounge, accommodation for visitors etc, were also available.

moneyistooshorttomention

You may well be right - ie that they dont have enough equity in their house to cover repaying MIL anyway.

But - half a loaf is better than none and if she can just get some of her money back then that would be something....

I guess there is always the possibility she could put a charge on their house???

To know how strong the "grandchild card" is - how old are these grandchildren? Are they old enough to go and visit Gran on their own yet? I'm guessing from the fact you live in a dearer part of the country - that at least its not one of those parts of the country where "families stick together like glue" sometimes and inherit feuds from each other? (ie the grandchildren will make their own decisions).

AdrianC

Yorkshire_Midge wrote: »

@Deannatrois - foolish is how she described herself several times today, and yesterday and the day before. She knew what she was taking on, she'd seen the signs in their previous behaviour, but simply didn't think her own daughter and son in law were capable of behaving as badly as they have.

And yet she wants to continue living with them, and won't countenance moving in with you?

<shrug>
She's a grown adult.

Yorkshire_Midge

@Xylophone - just had a look at the website. They have a place around here too so will take a look. We have to be a bit careful though - she'd go ape sh*t at the suggestion she was ready for anything that resembles a care home.


@Rosemary - the money was for a combination of paying off debts and building extension. It has allegedly paid off all their debts but what is left is barely enough now to cover the extension. Personally, I suspect it was simply used to subsidise on-going overspend.


@AdrianC - correct. She places the blame and the responsibility for fixing it firmly where it belongs, and that is with the two idiots that caused it. She knows both my wife and I have always been careful with money and lived within our means, and doesn't see why we should pick up the mess. It doesn't alter the fact we're very uncomfortable at her being anywhere near them.