Debt ridden family from hell

Yorkshire_Midge

@Rugged - MiL is late 70s. The daughter and son-in-law will be expecting us to clear up their mess, as we have done in the past. They have no sense of responsibility at all, and never have had.


MiL wouldn't live with us if we offered. She only moved in with them because they were in such a mess. As I indicated in previous posts, like many of her generation, she's proud and doesn't take hand outs. Even if I had the money to re-house her, I'd then have the problem of trying to get her to accept it!


True, she wouldn't be in the pickle she's in if she hadn't distanced herself from us, but given some of the fabricated stories she was told by them, I can't really blame her.

moneyistooshorttomention

Yep...carefully cautious and Mojisola have just made some very good points.:T

EDIT; I know exactly what you mean by "proud and not taking handouts". My parents are older than that - and I do have my work cut out to get them to claim anything they are entitled to - sometimes I win/sometimes I lose.

elsien

Mojisola wrote: »

And, if it hasn't already been done, get Power of Attorney sorted out so that the horrible relatives don't have control over her money should she lose capability.

That of course is presuming that MIL actually wants to give anyone of them power of attorney. She may prefer to do that outside of the family completely.

Mojisola

elsien wrote: »

That of course is presuming that MIL actually wants to give anyone of them power of attorney. She may prefer to do that outside of the family completely.

I didn't say the OP should become the attorney - just that the other relatives shouldn't.

hcb42

this is nothing to do with the grand children - just their parents

OP I don't know i can add any additional advice but I feel for you. Good luck

csgohan4

Another reason why money and family shouldn't mix

Yorkshire_Midge

@Person one and Melstar - we can't force her to stay with us. She was determined she wouldn't be bullied any more, and was going back to "her home" whilst they sort it out. She wouldn't even stop with us the first night after it all blew up. Just marched back in there like she was taking on Hitler. Husband has been strangely quiet since apparently.


@Elsien and Mojisola - I wish we'd done that years ago.


@Deannatrois and Carefully Cautious - didn't know there was such a thing. I'll take a look at the links.


@Scopionrooftrouser - she knows how daft she's been now but its too late. Good point on deprivation of assets esp. as its relatively recent.


@Xylophone - she is of sound mind. Getting her to claim any allowances will be fun!

xylophone

Getting her to claim any allowances will be fun!

AA is there for anybody regardless of income who has certain needs.

http://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/financial-support/help-with-benefits/attendance-allowance?gclid=CN2W_sbC4csCFQcUGwodd5kKSw

https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance/overview

Enterprise_1701C

All I would say is, whatever you do, do not do anything that would improve their house, you would never see any of that money back.

Could you not get the retirement flat and give her a lifetime interest in it?

Yorkshire_Midge

@Xylophone - what I meant was getting her to claim the allowances will be fun, even if she qualifies for them. Thanks for the links - I'll certainly have a look.