Wedding invite dilemma

Petra_70

Spendless wrote: »

Now I always assume that unless your name is on the invite, you are not invited. So the last two evening invites to weddings I've had, one from a colleague of mine, one from DH's colleague, just mentioned me and him on the invite. So we didn't take the kids, we made alternative arrangements, only for the first thing the bride and groom to say to us on the night 'haven't you fetched the children?'

I have to agree there. It seems odd to exclude someone's name off an invite, and then when asked if they are not invited, say 'erm yes, of course they are invited...'

Well, why were they not on the invite then?

pebbles88

I don't know why the thread has derailed onto Brits hating children!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Thankfully, regardless of any one else's opinion, the only people with the right to invite/exclude whomever they wish is the people hosting the event. Be it bride & groom, parents, siblings etc.

If you don't like it, don't go. Simples.:cool:

silvercar

Mainly the word "wedding" is uttered and people suggest that their children be included. Any similar gathering without the W word and no one expects children to be included.

seven-day-weekend

We had a party for one of our 'milestone' wedding anniversaries. We saidf no children. This was because, as someone said above, if all the children had come, we would not be able to invite all our friends.

The children are not our friends, so they didn't get invited. Simple.

(I don't think anyone took exception, if they did, tough).

Spendless

silvercar wrote: »

Mainly the word "wedding" is uttered and people suggest that their children be included. Any similar gathering without the W word and no one expects children to be included.

Are there other events hosted by friends/family that take place all day though and often on a weekend? I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Childcare is hard to find outside of Mon-Fri 'office hours' (8ish -6ish), I actually think that is what leads to many people being upset that their kids aren't invited, it's a case of if their kids can't attend, they won't be able to.

sheramber

My DIL used to work for a babysitting agency. One of her assignments was for a wedding in a local hotel She ( and others form the agency working different hours) looked after all the children in a separate room where they were served their own food.

The parents visited from time to time during the reception.

michelle09

Spendless wrote: »

Now I always assume that unless your name is on the invite, you are not invited. So the last two evening invites to weddings I've had, one from a colleague of mine, one from DH's colleague, just mentioned me and him on the invite. So we didn't take the kids, we made alternative arrangements, only for the first thing the bride and groom to say to us on the night 'haven't you fetched the children?'

Sadly, not everyone believes this. We had two people bring +1s to our wedding without asking or even telling us they would be coming! In the end we said they could stay but they would have foot the bill from the venue for the extra people. (As oddly enough, we had organised our budget/guest list before the wedding day). Can't say I was impressed about the whole thing!

seven-day-weekend

Spendless wrote: »

Are there other events hosted by friends/family that take place all day though and often on a weekend? I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Childcare is hard to find outside of Mon-Fri 'office hours' (8ish -6ish), I actually think that is what leads to many people being upset that their kids aren't invited, it's a case of if their kids can't attend, they won't be able to.

I can understand them being disappointed that they can't go, but not upset or angry. It's not the person's fault who has invited them if they can't get a babysitter, is it?

Spendless

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I can understand them being disappointed that they can't go, but not upset or angry. It's not the person's fault who has invited them if they can't get a babysitter, is it?

No it isn't. I always think that the invited person shouldn't 'sulk' if their kids aren't invited and likewise the people sending invites out shouldn't 'sulk' if their invitation is declined because the guests are unable to go without taking the children. I've seen complaints from both sides about this.

CathA

We said no children to our wedding. My nieces were the only ones with young ones, and were given plenty of notice so they could arrange babysitters (about 9 months notice I think) In the end, they couldn't arrange babysitters so their other halves looked after the kiddies. The girls were delighted, no kids to run after, no worries about sorting their day out around sleeps, feeds, nappies etc, no worries about drinking as they were driven by their brother. My sister, however, was most sniffy about 'her grandchildren' not coming! I told her that it's our wedding, they're not HER children so get over it. We all had a lovely day and my sister and I are fine.

Each to their own, there's no right or wrong way.