Wedding invite dilemma

AnotherJoe

heuchera wrote: »

I get that there are budget restraints but I'd no sooner say 'children not welcome' than 'over-65s not welcome'. I'd just invite fewer people without discriminating on grounds of age/sex/whatever else.

It's not about choosing fewer people,,it's about sticking to a number and choosing. You have to have some basis for choice.

Someone has to miss out, perhaps better the five year old year who'll be bored fir best part of the day old over an adult ? Not to mention, maybe the bride would want everyone to hear the views instead of a screaming child when the inconsiderate parent won't remove them. (I'm sure most have been to weddings like that) Or indeed, when the considerate parent does remove them and then misses out (I'm sure most of us have been to weddings like that as well) . It can be a positive for the attending guest parents to actually have a child free event themselves !

Now, it's each to their own, but I'd say it's strange person who can't appreciate a different point of view to their own.

heuchera

AnotherJoe wrote: »

It's not about choosing fewer people,,it's about sticking to a number and choosing.

That sentence totally contradicts itself :rotfl:

Pollycat

heuchera wrote: »

Why do Brits hate children so much, anyway?

People wanting child-free restaurants, child-free weddings, etc..

Do Brits hate children?

I don't hate children.

However, I do dislike the parents who allow their 'little darlings' to treat pubs and restaurants as a creche with no attempt at restraint.

pollypenny

Ive been to a few weddings in the last couple of years, mostly lads from the rugby club.

I can't recall any children there apart from very close family. The friends of the bride and groom, ones with their own little ones, seemed to have a damn good time without having to worry about keeping kids quiet and/ or happy.

It's a shame if the OP cannot find a baby sitter, but it's not always appropriate to take kids every where.

74jax

heuchera wrote: »

Why do Brits hate children so much, anyway?

People wanting child-free restaurants, child-free weddings, etc..

I don't hate children, I have a child myself but would like a meal or with no children - I didn't know these places existed.

We didn't invite all children to our wedding either, those we knew and wanted there we did, those we didn't want there didn't get an invite. Same with adults.

amus

When we get invited to weddings, even if our children are invited, we don't bring them

I see weddings as, for the most part, an adult event. As such I like to take it as an opportunity for OH and I to have a night away from our darlings and have uninterrupted adult conversation (and a few tipples).

I take my children out to places they like to go, play centres, zoos, farms, plenty of time for them to learn to behave appropriately. I ease them in to the restaurant scene slowly, by testing them out at Weatherspoons .

JReacher1

Kids ruin a wedding. Weddings go on until late e.g at least midnight. If everyone brings kids then everyone goes home early when the kids want to go to bed. This means the wedding starts to wind down early on and can ruin the event.

It's very selfish to insist you take your children to a wedding as you're not paying for them to attend the bride and groom is.

heuchera

Pollycat wrote: »

Do Brits hate children?

I don't hate children.

However, I do dislike the parents who allow their 'little darlings' to treat pubs and restaurants as a creche with no attempt at restraint.

They really do. We're known as a nation who love our dogs more than our children. Seriously.

I've seen far more badly behaved adults than children, - should we ban them from our weddings too? Adults get drunk, lairy and aggressive. 8 year olds don't..

Jagraf

heuchera wrote: »

They really do. We're known as a nation who love our dogs more than our children. Seriously.

I've seen far more badly behaved adults than children, - should we ban them from our weddings too? Adults get drunk, lairy and aggressive. 8 year olds don't..

I think we invite who we like - child, adult, animal. There are many children, adults and animals I wouldnt have at my wedding.

duchy

heuchera wrote: »

I get that there are budget restraints but I'd no sooner say 'children not welcome' than 'over-65s not welcome'. I'd just invite fewer people without discriminating on grounds of age/sex/whatever else.

And that is fine for you - but you have your preferences and other people have theirs. You presumably would NOT expect someone you have never met but who knows your intended to have more input into the guest list than yourself as the bride or groom .

Basically when it comes to weddings those invited are the ones the couple want to be there the most -and if there are restrictions either in numbers or budget means they will remove from the list the ones they are less bothered about. In this case the groom has never made any effort to get his bride to know his best friend's wife or children so obviously they are further down the list than people the bride and groom both know and spend time with.

Neither the OP or the bride seemed to be bothered about meeting each other anyway so I'm not sure why this is such a big deal. Some couples have friends who are all couples....others have quite seperate friendship groups with less overlap neither is wrong -just some people do things differently. I think it's quite nice the OP was invited herself despite the bride not knowing her from Adam.