Wedding invite dilemma

Anatidaephobia

Mojisola wrote: »

It seems that the wife-to-be doesn't want to make friends.

Who knows? Maybe there have only been three invites in two years and the fiancee had prior arrangements for each date. Or maybe there has been a weekly invite for five years and she rejects them every time. We could speculate but what's the point?

MrsSippi

Thank you for all the replies, I've only just popped in so sorry for not replying sooner. To address as many points as I can spot: firstly, I have calmed down somewhat and maybe did overreact just a smidgen! I think I was having a bad day and took this more personally than I should have. I realise with hindsight that 'furious ' was a bit extreme!

Anyhow, having spoken to grooms family it transpires that the brides family is paying for everything which explains why no children. It was a bit daft of the groom not to discuss the children/no children thing before telling people though but I'm sure this wasn't intentional. Equally, he should have just told us this to avoid any confusion etc. I do not have an issue with only agreeing to go to places if my children can and although I obviously love them both massively they are not the centre of my whole world so that is not an issue either. I can also completely understand why some people think that children can be tricky at weddings.

Re: never having met the fiance, I genuinely don't know why this is. We have invited them over a few times and best mate comes but she is always busy so I've kind of left it up to them now. I don't think we have upset or offended her in anyway (not had the chance to if nothing else!). And once again I'll say (as it seems to have not been noticed by some) that I haven't told groom what to do or say at all. What I said was that if he is so keen for children to attend and she isn't it would probably be a good idea to discuss it before invites to go out to see if they can reach a compromise. Again, this was before I knew the brides family were paying for the wedding.

It's not my wedding to organise so I'll just go with whatever they want. I don't have anyone to babysit so DH will go on his own which is a shame but not the end of the world.

pimento

swingaloo wrote: »

Your children are not their priority and it is their wedding day.

Exactly this. You may think your offspring are wonderful but not everyone else does.

Don't get me wrong, I like children but I couldn't eat a whole one.

belfastgirl23

MrsSippi wrote: »

Thank you for all the replies, I've only just popped in so sorry for not replying sooner. To address as many points as I can spot: firstly, I have calmed down somewhat and maybe did overreact just a smidgen! I think I was having a bad day and took this more personally than I should have. I realise with hindsight that 'furious ' was a bit extreme!

Anyhow, having spoken to grooms family it transpires that the brides family is paying for everything which explains why no children. It was a bit daft of the groom not to discuss the children/no children thing before telling people though but I'm sure this wasn't intentional. Equally, he should have just told us this to avoid any confusion etc. I do not have an issue with only agreeing to go to places if my children can and although I obviously love them both massively they are not the centre of my whole world so that is not an issue either. I can also completely understand why some people think that children can be tricky at weddings.

Re: never having met the fiance, I genuinely don't know why this is. We have invited them over a few times and best mate comes but she is always busy so I've kind of left it up to them now. I don't think we have upset or offended her in anyway (not had the chance to if nothing else!). And once again I'll say (as it seems to have not been noticed by some) that I haven't told groom what to do or say at all. What I said was that if he is so keen for children to attend and she isn't it would probably be a good idea to discuss it before invites to go out to see if they can reach a compromise. Again, this was before I knew the brides family were paying for the wedding.

It's not my wedding to organise so I'll just go with whatever they want. I don't have anyone to babysit so DH will go on his own which is a shame but not the end of the world.

Sounds very reasonable. We can all have an off day! I guess too you were looking forward to seeing him married and are a little sad and disappointed that this won't be the case - that's fair enough, you're entitled to your feelings too. It's weird how sometimes you experience emotions like sadness as anger - I know I do this as well. I just wanted to say well done on being the bigger person!

Peter333

Thanks for that post Mrs Sippi... I agree with Belfast girl. It's understandable that you feel miffed, and pay no attention to the people calling you self entitled and bratty and spoilt and similar rude comments. Some people just love to judge on here and attack and jump on you for very little.

I do have to agree though, with the people that say it seems odd that you have never met the partner of your husband's best friend. Are you sure she even wants to be friends with you? The fact she has said NO to your children coming to the wedding, after your husband's friend said they could go, does not bode well. Sounds like she is a bit sniffy to me.

thorsoak

Since when did weddings begin and end with guests?

pollypenny

Weddings are now so expensive, well receptions are, that it's perfectly reasonable to limit to guest list. If it means no children, so be it.

Are many children likely to enjoy a wedding, anyway?

Double_V

Sorry but what's DH ?

AubreyMac

I think its a bit difficult to not take it personally somewhat. The whole family including the kids were initially invited and to then retract this is not nice.


I understand the no kids rule at weddings or any big functions but to retract an invite would have left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth (thought I would try my utmost to not show it). Though it's not your place to say it, I too would wonder why the groom does not just grow a pair. Saying to you that he doesn't know the best way around it is, to me, putting the ball in your court to come up with the solution.


Ah well, I don't like going weddings anyway. All that seeing some people you've been trying to avoid a while and standing round taking loads of pics no matter how much you love the couple. And if you're single like me, constantly getting asked if I'm dating or others trying to fix me up with someone at the wedding that I have nowt in common with other than the fact we're single (which I find insulting) is just not an environment I enjoy being.

Coinmachine

Double_V wrote: »

Sorry but what's DH ?

Its short for Department of Health