Wedding invite dilemma

haras_nosirrah

My husband invited all his cousins as did I. I have never met them as we live on the south coast and they live in Leicester and the only time he has seen that side of the family in many many years was when it was his grandfather's funeral which I didn't go to as I didn't think it the appropriate place to take my then 2 year old or to do a meet and greet. My husbands parents felt they should be invited so we did but we did not extend the invitation to the children (between the 3 cousins there would have been 12 children). They didn't come which was fine by us and I can understand completely why as it would have meant an overnight stay but at least we extended the invite. I was not upset they didn't come as meant we could invite people we actually see

Lioness_Twinkletoes

pigpen wrote: »

I hate this new thing of not having children.. like they are second class citizens and not fit to be allowed in public.. how are they supposed to become civilised beings if they have to be kept at home?

I think either the groom needs to grow a pair because he will have a very miserable life or he needs to accept her rules..

I wouldnt go if my children werent invited either.. we have a wedding do in May.. I'm not going because it will have drunken adults and I dont want children around drunk people.. I dont want to dump them on people either.. the bride is quite upset because only OH is going but tough.. we were initially invited to the wedding and reception but they changed their minds so now only OH is going.

That makes no sense. You'd refuse to attend if your kids weren't invited. They have been invited but you're not going anyway because there will be people getting drunk? So either way, you'd not go?

Personally, I think it is entirely the decision of the bride and groom and everyone should respect their decision. It is their special day. If you don't like it then don't go - but be polite and respectful in turning down the invitation - not snotty or narky.

I requested no children at my wedding (25 years ago) and someone showed up with a baby. Bloody annoying.

Abbafan1972

For those people who can't get babysitters because all of your family are at the wedding.....

We have used Sitters agency before when the kids were young, so we could go out without keep on asking my Mom all the time.

It isn't cheap but they are reliable. The regular sitter we got was brilliant.

http://www.sitters.co.uk/

Not sure about overnight sitting, but a lot of them would do till the early hours if needed.

Pollycat

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

My husbands parents felt they should be invited so we did

Were your husband's parents paying for the reception?

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

They didn't come which was fine by us and I can understand completely why as it would have meant an overnight stay but at least we extended the invite.

It may be me but I can't get the concept of inviting people you've never met to share your special day.

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

I was not upset they didn't come as meant we could invite people we actually see

My point exactly!
Why invite people you've never met simply because they're family to the exclusion of friends you see regularly?

peachyprice

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

For those people who can't get babysitters because all of your family are at the wedding.....

We have used Sitters agency before when the kids were young, so we could go out without keep on asking my Mom all the time.

It isn't cheap but they are reliable. The regular sitter we got was brilliant.

http://www.sitters.co.uk/

Not sure about overnight sitting, but a lot of them would do till the early hours if needed.

TBH I don't think I would be at all comfortable leaving my children and home in the hands of a stranger, no matter how reliable the company may be.

I guess it wouldn't be too bad if you could request a sitter you know others in your area have used, but a total random wouldn't do it for me.

Abbafan1972

peachyprice wrote: »

TBH I don't think I would be at all comfortable leaving my children and home in the hands of a stranger, no matter how reliable the company may be.

That's your choice, but we never had any problems.

haras_nosirrah

We invited them to keep the peace. Both parents were assisting with costs for the wedding (his parents paid 2k as did mine and we paid the other 4k) and my husband mum asked her sister to be invited and her children (the three cousins in their 30's) aunt and husband came but the cousins didn't as they couldn't bring their 12 kids between them. 2 of the 3 of my cousins did come but we do actually see them once a year at a big family get together. Their kids were also not invited even though we have met them but they were able to sort childcare and came anyway.

Pollycat

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

We invited them to keep the peace. Both parents were assisting with costs for the wedding (his parents paid 2k as did mine and we paid the rest) and my husband mum asked her sister to be invited and her children (the three cousins in their 30's) aunt and husband came but the cousins didn't as they couldn't bring their 12 kids between them. My cousins did come but we do actually see them once a year at a big family get together. Their kids were also not invited even though we have met them but they were able to sort childcare and came anyway.

I'm not surprised, tbh.

But as other people were contributing to your wedding costs, I guess it was fair they had their say.

Different for us as we were paying.

haras_nosirrah

It was the only thing my mother in law asked for. I get on very well with my mum in law so we were happy to oblige but explained that we couldn't extend the invite to the kids due to cost and numbers being restricted to 50 daytime and this family would have been 20 had aunt, husband, cousins, partners and all kids turned up. As they live 4 hours away they had to be daytime as well. I didn't expect them to accept for a second and was very glad they didn't.

cashewnut

We had no children at our wedding two weeks ago and it was wonderful. Neither of us have nieces or nephews and we just aren't close to our friends' or cousins' children. These children are strangers to us so why would we want them there? Not to mention cost plus not enough space (ceremony and reception venues had a capacity of 60 and we had 50 guests. Guests' children would have added another 16).