Is it weird wanting to remain single?

Petra_70

justme111 wrote: »

Person one , live organisms programmed for reproducing and ensuring passing on the genes they have. You have different preferences that overridden this primal instinct. Your parents on another hand have it switched on as most others. So it probably hurts them to the core that they did not succeed in gene passover as it stops at you.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Choked on my tea at this. What a delightful expression.
And of course this is OT, as such 'hurt' it is about not having children, not choosing to remain single.
I would suggest it is much more likely the natural parental fear of not being any to comfort /help offspring when they are no longer around in times of unexpected need and a reflection of their own fear of being widowed/how would they cope alone and /or how much they have enjoyed having a partner. Might be none of these of course.

Person_one wrote: »

Aw, thanks. What a lovely thing to say.

Struggling to see why this is a 'delightful' thing to say.................Why is it nice or good, that the parents are 'hurt to the core?' :huh:

heuchera wrote: »

How do you know it stops at person one? They might have brothers and sisters who are "reproducing" :rotfl:

That's what I thought!!!

Brighton_belle

Petra_70 wrote: »

Struggling to see why this is a 'delightful' thing to say.................Why is it nice or good, that the parents are 'hurt to the core?' :huh:



That's what I thought!!!

It's sarcasm Petra. Used because I found it an astonishingly peculiar thing to say.

Jagraf

The only people who would find it weird would be those who compare it to their own insecurities and try to make their lives look better.

As for reproduction, that has nothing to do with relationships / marriage / living together. It can be done through one physical act, so there is not an argument there.

In fact, I think it's very healthy to be single.

zagfles

Jagraf wrote: »

The only people who would find it weird would be those who compare it to their own insecurities and try to make their lives look better.

I don't think it's that so much, it's more that some people simply can't comprehend that others think differently to them, that other people want different things out of life.

It works both ways, people have mentioned getting nagged about when they're going to get married, have kids etc. Generally from parents, or perhaps concerned close friends/relatives who think just because that's what makes them fullfilled, you're missing out and must be really lonely and sad if you don't do the same.

But also I know a couple of men who are both absolutely convinced that no man really wants to become a father and that they only do so because they're doing what's expected, they're "jumping through societies hoops of expectation", or they're just doing what the wife wants! Rather than it being something they positively want!

We've seen it here with people convinced a man can't be friends with an attractive woman without wanting to have sex with her.

People think differently. Get over it!

Pollycat

Whatever happened to live and let live?

Rosemary7391

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

BTW, no-one ever has to justify their lifestyle preferences to anyone. The OP (and others) could just nod and smile rather than trying to persuade the other person that they're quite happy as they are, TYVM, and don't intend to find a boy/girlfriend / get married / have kids etc etc etc.

I could just smile and nod, but if I'm honest, being treated as if my life is still in limbo/I'm still a child is a little wearing. Yes, my mother very much implied that I'm not a fully independent adult because I've not got married yet! It's easy to tell people not to care about opinions of those they're close to, but really, is anyone that thick skinned?

Person_one

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I could just smile and nod, but if I'm honest, being treated as if my life is still in limbo/I'm still a child is a little wearing. Yes, my mother very much implied that I'm not a fully independent adult because I've not got married yet! It's easy to tell people not to care about opinions of those they're close to, but really, is anyone that thick skinned?

The accusations of 'not a proper adult' do make me laugh sometimes. Especially when I see how dependent some coupled up women with or without children are on their (invariably male) partners. Single women don't have that option and learn to cope perfectly well on their own but are apparently still considered less 'grown up'.

Just today someone I know put a post on Facebook about how she hadn't managed to check the air in her tyres without male assistance. A friend of mine who married young has literally never even changed a lightbulb!

Kim_kim

mgdavid wrote: »

Eh? you'd better be very wrong, as these two retirees are planning on staying in a few hostels this time next year.

Ok then, I'm more a 5 star with room service by a tropical beach sort of holiday maker.

Pollycat

These 2 posts just go to show that people have different opinions.

mgdavid wrote: »

Eh? you'd better be very wrong, as these two retirees are planning on staying in a few hostels this time next year.

Kim_kim wrote: »

Ok then, I'm more a 5 star with room service by a tropical beach sort of holiday maker.

And there's nothing wrong with that, just as there's nothing wrong with being content on your own, or to live with someone but not get married or to be with someone and not want to have children.

At the end of the day, it's sod all to do with anybody else.

lisa110rry

We seem to have gone a long way from the OP... I reckon it's horses for courses. I married my husband when I was 21, and he, 30. We seriously discussed parenthood, and agreed when I was 25 that the time was right. Our son, an only child, was born six days after my 26th birthday. Our choice, other choices are available! When our son married in 2012, I was delighted they enjoyed each other's company for a couple of years before deciding they would like to start a family. It hasn't happened, but I would never, not ever, bring this up. It seems I am not to be a grandparent, okay, not a problem. I rejoice in my grandneices, both in the UK and Australia. The dear couple are happy, so hey, who am I to say anything?

I've been married 38 years, but we have individual tastes, my husband attends lectures and other meetings to do with a Society. I like to take my dog to the beach and would love an afternoon sledging (if I could find snow). My husband is off to Dubai for five weeks on Tuesday on holiday. Not a problem to me, I have plans for that time, including a couple of exhibitions (at museums, not planning to flash cars from a motorway overpass, lol).

If I found myself single through loss, I would cope, but I would in that circumstance emulate the poster who has someone special s/he sees sporadically, but I would be content being single as I've never been in anyone's pocket, nor he in mine.

Go with what you find in your heart...