Is it weird wanting to remain single?

Double_V

No I don't think that is weird.
You live your life the way you want.

I wish you all best of luck for everything. And enjoy.

burnoutbabe

welshlad_82 wrote: »

I have been single for about 12 years roughly and lived on my own for 8 years, but people often say: When you are going to meet someone? Your a lovely bloke someone will be lucky to have you? You are brilliant to your nephews, do you want any of your own?

My answer, no I prefer being single with no kids and reasons why:
- Living on my own, can do what I want when I want.
- I don't have to consider others when doing something.
- I don't have to comprise on things.
- I go to the gym 3/4 times a week and the free time I have I catchup on TV shows and go on the Xbox One - finding the time is an issue
- Money is another issue, I have like £300 left after all bills etc and no doubt "wining and dining" this will swallow up fast.
- I love taking my nephews out for the day and spending time with them, I couldn't do this full time as a parent.

I have not signed up to any dating sites, I don't make the effort when on a night out to look for someone, recently a friend recommended a cousin of his who moved back home from Canada. I had to gently turn it down for the reasons above (I felt/feel terrible doing this).

Is it weird wanting to be single? Surely it's a life choice like looking for a partner and wanting to be in a relationship?

I do all that, watch the tv shows i want, play on my xbox one. But my other half lets me get on and does this, whilst he programs. We mostly both do what we want as well. Just let the other know we are going out on x night to do stuff (mostly week nights) and the other person does own thing.

So the trick is, to find the right person.

thriftylass

I don't think you are weird at all. I have been single till I was 26 and all I ever wanted was a husband and kids etc. Now at 38 I am married with two kids and there are days where I wish I was single again for the exact reasons you stated. Having seen both sides and experienced them I am not made for family life. I love my kids and of course would never leave them or my husband but I struggle sometimes and wish I was on my own. Some people are just like that, happy in their own company, nothing weird about it. Live you're live the way you want.

justme111

Op , if all your life consists of is not particularly interesting work (I guessed it was not as you said no word about it and your earnings must be quite low if you have £300 left after bills) , gym, watching tv and playing xbox then indeed including female in it would result in more expenses , not that much because you would subsidise the female but because you would be doing other things which likely require money spend.
It is very understandable to me why you could prefer live the way you do. It is secure, protected and stable bubble. Or shell. Hopefully it is just a stage though as there is much more to life than what you described and limiting it to those activities cuts many/most positive experiences off it.
Person one , live organisms programmed for reproducing and ensuring passing on the genes they have. You have different preferences that overridden this primal instinct. Your parents on another hand have it switched on as most others. So it probably hurts them to the core that they did not succeed in gene passover as it stops at you.

pollyanna24

I don't think it's weird at all and I think I am at the stage of happily single.

I spent my younger years in a long term relationship and then he left me when I was 29 with two very small kids (one being 2 months old).

It took me years to be happy, but I think I am there. I like the idea of my house, my money, can do what I want etc.

Sometimes I get lonely and think there should be more to life (i.e. my evenings are quite lonely as it's not like I can go out with small children), but at the moment, I would say I'm content and not bothered about finding a partner.

It gets mentioned sometimes and my answer usually is "I've got what I need out of a man," i.e. my kids! Haha.

However, this may change in the future, but I'm not sure I'll ever desperately be on the lookout. If it happens, it happens. I think of my ex and how whenever I mention something about the kids, it's always, "I'll get back to you as I just need to ask....." Geez, I don't want to have ask permission from anyone like that now I'm in my mid 30s!

Savvy_Sue

BTW, no-one ever has to justify their lifestyle preferences to anyone. The OP (and others) could just nod and smile rather than trying to persuade the other person that they're quite happy as they are, TYVM, and don't intend to find a boy/girlfriend / get married / have kids etc etc etc.

MIL was never given the chance to ask when we were getting married as we sprang it on her before she was expecting it, but the comments about babies started soon afterwards. "I saw a lovely toy train today but I had no-one to buy it for" was one classic. She's now started wondering when she's going to get great grandchildren, as 'all her friends' have at least one. I just ask if she REALLY thinks the boys are ready to be parents? One is happily 'travelling' and has no g/f and no plans to settle down; another has only recently got a g/f who I have NOT mentioned to MIL so how he's supposed to reproduce I'm not sure; and the third is still doing his PhD here while his delightful g/f is working elsewhere in Europe, so why they'd want a baby is unclear ...

Mind you her response to 'do you think they're ready?' is to say that she supposes they should get married first ...

She is a lovely lady in all other respects, so smiling and nodding is definitely the way to go. As it happens, I'd love grandchildren myself, but that's no reason for the boys to oblige ... :rotfl:

Person_one

justme111 wrote: »

Person one , live organisms programmed for reproducing and ensuring passing on the genes they have. You have different preferences that overridden this primal instinct. Your parents on another hand have it switched on as most others. So it probably hurts them to the core that they did not succeed in gene passover as it stops at you.

Aw, thanks. What a lovely thing to say.

heuchera

justme111 wrote: »

Person one , live organisms programmed for reproducing and ensuring passing on the genes they have. You have different preferences that overridden this primal instinct. Your parents on another hand have it switched on as most others. So it probably hurts them to the core that they did not succeed in gene passover as it stops at you.

How do you know it stops at person one? They might have brothers and sisters who are "reproducing" :rotfl:

Brighton_belle

justme111 wrote: »

Person one , live organisms programmed for reproducing and ensuring passing on the genes they have. You have different preferences that overridden this primal instinct. Your parents on another hand have it switched on as most others. So it probably hurts them to the core that they did not succeed in gene passover as it stops at you. So it probably hurts them to the core that they did not succeed in gene passover as it stops at you.

Choked on my tea at this. What a delightful expression.
And of course this is OT, as such 'hurt' it is about not having children, not choosing to remain single.
I would suggest it is much more likely the natural parental fear of not being any to comfort /help offspring when they are no longer around in times of unexpected need and a reflection of their own fear of being widowed/how would they cope alone and /or how much they have enjoyed having a partner. Might be none of these of course.

Person_one

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Choked on my tea at this. What a delightful expression.
And of course this is OT, as such 'hurt' it is about not having children, not choosing to remain single.
I would suggest it is much more likely the natural parental fear of not being any to comfort /help offspring when they are no longer around in times of unexpected need and a reflection of their own fear of being widowed/how would they cope alone and /or how much they have enjoyed having a partner. Might be none of these of course.

I know right? People do think that way though, more than I would've believed before it became relevant to me.

My parents met in their teens and have been sickeningly happy ever since. I think they just struggle to understand how I ended up so different to them in this respect! Frustrating at times, annoying to be viewed as an object of pity, and hurtful that they seem to think I'm lying to them about being fine on my own. Its something a lot of single or childfree women have to put up with though, not just me.