Is it weird wanting to remain single?

welshlad_82

I have been single for about 12 years roughly and lived on my own for 8 years, but people often say: When you are going to meet someone? Your a lovely bloke someone will be lucky to have you? You are brilliant to your nephews, do you want any of your own?

My answer, no I prefer being single with no kids and reasons why:
- Living on my own, can do what I want when I want.
- I don't have to consider others when doing something.
- I don't have to comprise on things.
- I go to the gym 3/4 times a week and the free time I have I catchup on TV shows and go on the Xbox One - finding the time is an issue
- Money is another issue, I have like £300 left after all bills etc and no doubt "wining and dining" this will swallow up fast.
- I love taking my nephews out for the day and spending time with them, I couldn't do this full time as a parent.

I have not signed up to any dating sites, I don't make the effort when on a night out to look for someone, recently a friend recommended a cousin of his who moved back home from Canada. I had to gently turn it down for the reasons above (I felt/feel terrible doing this).

Is it weird wanting to be single? Surely it's a life choice like looking for a partner and wanting to be in a relationship?

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Rosemary7391

Apparently it is weird. If you ever find out how to fend off all the questions do let me know! I wish folks (parents) would lay off and let me be.

FreddieFrugal

"Weird" = subjective

Live your life the way you want. Your views on partnership may change in the future, or they may stay exactly the same.

Regardless, do what feels right to you and don't let other people's opinions get you down.

I don't know you to be able to express an opinion on whether I think you secretly want a relationship but something is holding you back...and even if I did, I'd those keep those thoughts to myself not tell you what to do.

Some people just love trying to play puppet master with others lives. Or assume that everyone must think the same and have the same aims and aspirations.

fierystormcloud

Nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, even though I have been in a relationship half my life (I am several years from 40,) and enjoy being married, I respect people who choose to remain single and are cool with it.

Whatever makes you happy dude. :P

Person_one

Its not the way most people want to spend their lives, and to a lot of them that apparently does make it 'weird'. If you're a 'lad' you might not get the same stick that women do though.

I've given up trying to convince anybody that I'm actually perfectly happy on my own and I don't need to be either set up, encouraged to date, or pitied as a barren spinster! Think you just have to develop a bit of a thick skin as people will feel perfectly entitled to grill you or judge you in a way that they wouldn't for most other life choices.

I have some good friends who 'get it' and don't hassle me, which is great, but it does make me sad that I don't think my parents will ever understand or fully accept my decision.

moneyistooshorttomention

Each to their own on that one.

It may be that you meet Miss Wonderful at some point and change your mind - but, if so, then chances are much greater that she really was Miss Wonderful (ie because you weren't determined to have a girlfriend for the sake of it).

I had my share of boyfriends in my time - but would never go out with a man just for the sake of having a boyfriend. I never did meet Mr Wonderful - and really the only reason I regret that fact these days is because single people are so much worse off (eg having to cover the cost of a home and the bills on their own).

I have come across several women over the years that were clearly determined to have someone/anyone in their lives and they have had rather a tendency to "come to grief" with the men they chose - as they were so desperate they would put up with bad treatment someone like myself wouldn't dream of putting up with (because we aren't desperate). I would hazard a guess that its the same with men - ie the ones that are desperate would be prepared to put up with worse treatment.

If you're happy the way you are - then that's your business and no-one else's. Horses for courses...

heuchera

Better to be unhappily single than unhappily married.. but is it better to be happily single than happily married?

zagfles

It's not weird wanting to be single but some of your reasons are.

You don't have to have kids if you're in a relationship.
You can still do your own stuff, plenty of couples live fairly independant lives, you don't have to be in each others' pockets all the time.
Money - most self respecting women these days don't expect to be "wine and dined", it's the 21st century, not the 1950's. You can find stuff to do together that you both enjoy and that you'd have done anyway, and pay your own way. No extra cost in fact you could save doing things together.

And living with someone is far cheaper than living alone as there's 2 of you paying the bills, I used to live alone and was far better off financially when my (now) wife moved in with me.

I'm not saying being single is wrong or anything just that your reasons seem to making assumptions of how being in a relationships would negatively affect your life. It doesn't have to be like that if you find the right partner. For instance I love travelling and go away frequently on my own, not an issue, my wife goes down the gym 3/4 times a week like you and does loads of other stuff without me, not an issue.

Person_one

^^This is something I've noticed a lot. Attempts to convince you to change your mind, or that you don't actually know your own mind.

Its as if because being coupled up is the default, people think you need a better reason than 'I don't want that' for not being. They think your single status needs to be justified and explained to their satisfaction!

Gloomendoom

welshlad_82 wrote: »

Is it weird wanting to be single? Surely it's a life choice like looking for a partner and wanting to be in a relationship?

:huh: But who does all the cooking and cleaning?

duchy

I really enjoyed my single years.
Having done both- neither is better than the other -just different.

The single life is expensive- managing a mortgage or rent alone for example

I've never done the joined at the hip thing even when married. I've always had seperate interests to a partner as they have too.

If you can't be bothered with a relationship and like your own company...... then why not.

Maybe you're built to be single or maybe you haven't met someone who you like enough who also is their own person too yet ?

Plenty of women don't want to do everything two by two - and by refusing to even consider meeting new people you might be missing out on relationships based on mutual interests and friendships first and foremost . Many of the most successful partnerships start as friendships and attraction comes later .

Ultimately if you are happy- what does it matter what anyone else thinks ?