Is it weird wanting to remain single?

Hermia

Petra_70 wrote: »

I find this almost impossible to believe. Yes of course the single life is more expensive as two can live cheaper than one, but I can't believe that £800 is the cheapest that one person can pay for a holiday. Me and DH have been on many coach trips, costing between £99 each for a 3 day weekend in Paris or Ostend, to 10 days in Italy or Croatia, for £319 each.

The single person supplement is only £30-£40 for the cheapest trip, and around £120 for the higher priced ones. So I don't know where you're getting your figures from. The only way it would cost that is if it cost £700 each for the couple. In other words, it still wouldn't cost a lot more for a single person, that it would cost the individual people in the couple.

And if you arrange everything yourself it is even cheaper. There are really nice budgets hotels all over the world with single rooms. And if you are travelling to Europe the flights can be really cheap. I love travelling solo and I have genuinely had no more problems safety-wise than when I am out and about in the UK. I actually find when you are on your own locals tend to chat to you and help you which doesn't tend to happen when I have travelled with someone else.

Person_one

Petra_70 wrote: »

But if you were living together, it wouldn't be anything like having an overnighter in a hotel. I never sit up waiting for my husband to go to sleep so I can go, and I don't have to 'tailor my bed time to his,' and I don't find myself 'unable to sit and read,' or with 'restricted space,' because we have more than one room in the house! I stay up and watch telly when he goes to bed (if I want to.)

Oh I don't know, I had an ex who used to get really arsey if I wanted to go to bed at a different time to him, or sit and read in bed etc. For some reason he thought it was an indicator of the health of our relationship/sex life if we went to bed together and the bed was just for sleeping and 'relations'! :rotfl:

I don't know how anybody shares a bed long term, unless its an absolutely massive bed with separate duvets. My parents are very happily married, 30+ years, never even argue, but I'm pretty sure they sleep separately quite a lot of the time these days. My friends who are newly married in their thirties only share a bed at weekends when sleep is less precious!

Brighton_belle

Person_one wrote: »

I don't know how anybody shares a bed long term, unless its an absolutely massive bed with separate duvets.

Yup, like this - plus separate mattresses (on super king bed frame: modified by me from double bed frame as that was way too small once we got together).
I don't understand how anyone can share one duvet.

Torry_Quine

Petra_70 wrote: »

I don't think there is anything wrong with being single, if it's what you want, and it makes you happy. But if you were living together, it wouldn't be anything like having an overnighter in a hotel. I never sit up waiting for my husband to go to sleep so I can go, and I don't have to 'tailor my bed time to his,' and I don't find myself 'unable to sit and read,' or with 'restricted space,' because we have more than one room in the house! I stay up and watch telly when he goes to bed (if I want to.)

Upshot is, if you lived with someone, it wouldn't be anything like it would be staying in a hotel room together. It would be totally different, as you would have your own space, and lots of different rooms; maybe even individual bedrooms.

It would never occur to me to go to be at a time different to.my husband. I wouldn't read in bed either if unable to sleep. We watch TV together and compromise on what we watch. Isn't this the way others live?

Person_one wrote: »

Oh I don't know, I had an ex who used to get really arsey if I wanted to go to bed at a different time to him, or sit and read in bed etc. For some reason he thought it was an indicator of the health of our relationship/sex life if we went to bed together and the bed was just for sleeping and 'relations'! :rotfl:

I don't know how anybody shares a bed long term, unless its an absolutely massive bed with separate duvets. My parents are very happily married, 30+ years, never even argue, but I'm pretty sure they sleep separately quite a lot of the time these days. My friends who are newly married in their thirties only share a bed at weekends when sleep is less precious!

Not sharing a bed especially when newly married wouldn't have occuredto us at all, not least as we had no room for a.second bed.

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Yup, like this - plus separate mattresses (on super king bed frame: modified by me from double bed frame as that was way too small once we got together).
I don't understand how anyone can share one duvet.

Always sharerd one duvet. Double bed, king size too big.

movilogo

Wish someone could give me following advice before I got married.

Getting married for sex is like buying a jumbo jet for free peanuts

Brighton_belle

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Always sharerd one duvet. Double bed, king size too big.

Probably helps that you were very fortunate to have met your DH young. I was single until I was 39 so much harder I think to get used to another person in the bed (Not that I am complaining, very happy to have him there ) Also re the duvet, I'm a complete thrasher and he lies motionless all night so he'd be duvet-less if we shared .Still entirely possible to snuggle together under the single duvet though until sleep beckons so no loss of cosiness.

Torry_Quine

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Probably helps that you were very very fortunate to have met your DH young. I was single until I was 39 so much harder I think to get used to another person in the bed (Not that I am complaining, very happy to have him there ) Also re the duvet, I'm a complete thrasher and he lies motionless all night so he'd be duvet-less if we shared .Still entirely possible to snuggle together under the single duvet though until sleep beckons so no loss of cosiness.

Until I married I was in a single bed so no extra space though. He does tend to not the duvet but I just take it back from him.

Brighton_belle

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Until I married I was in a single bed so no extra space though. He does tend to not the duvet but I just take it back from him.

But a super king is just 2 x 3ft single size where as a standard double is 4.5 ft so you lose space.

onomatopoeia99

fatpiggy wrote: »

(my most precious possessions include my trolley jack and telescopic wheel brace!) and I suppose men don't want a woman treading about in THEIR territory.

Um, no. I'd be delighted to find a woman happy to service her own car and take on DIY jobs around the house (I don't mean soft furnishings in this context), wouldn't feel my territory was being interfered with at all, provided she didn't mind me cooking. I installed the kitchen for me to cook in so I'm not having it permanently taken over!

I went on a solos holiday once, it was relatively expensive but not excessively. Three men, eight women in the party, plus the female guide / rep who accompanied us almost the whole time (she was really good, in fact). That was with an outfit called "friendship travel", I booked it at the last minute as stuff going on in my private life meant I wanted to get away, and not on my own (normally I book stuff direct and go alone). They use hotels that cater to business travellers so have single rooms and are mainly empty at weekends (obviously this only works if you want a city holiday).

Only victim of crime in our group was me, I got pickpocketed by a team of two women. One came up to me in the street and started shouting, punching and shoving me, the other grabbed my phone out of my pocket while I was fending her co-conspirator off. I realised I'd been done quite quickly and managed to get it back without involving the police, just threatening to do so..

Hermia

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It would never occur to me to go to be at a time different to.my husband. I wouldn't read in bed either if unable to sleep. We watch TV together and compromise on what we watch. Isn't this the way others live?

The always going to bed at the same time thing only really works if you always get up at the same time every day. Most couples I know leave for work at different times. I am certainly not sitting up for someone if I have to get up early to drive across the county for a meeting. Nor would I expect them to come to bed if they are not tired.

The TV compromise thing only really works if you have vaguely similar tastes. If you don't you basically end up with one or both people watching something they hate! I can't think of anything more tedious than always watching films/TV or listening to music you both only sort of like for the sake of compromise. I would much rather do those things separately and then spend time together doing the things we both love. I have friends who always miss out on watching TV or movies they would love because their partner doesn't like what they like - urg!