Would you end your marriage (or relationship,) if your partner didn't want children?

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

I've also never been able to look past the grind and hard work of raising children. I think the human race needs most people to be able to delay thinking about that and focus on 'babies are lovely, I want one to cuddle and love' rather than a washing basket that doesn't empty for 20 years or we'd be extinct!

I hated all the grunt work that goes with looking after a baby or young child. Mind-stultifying drudgery, imho. The older my son got, the better I liked it.

POPPYOSCAR

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes and Yes.

If grandchildren come along I would love them, but it suits me if they don't.[/QUOTE]





Just out of interest can I ask why that is?

seven-day-weekend

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Yes and Yes.

If grandchildren come along I would love them, but it suits me if they don't.[/QUOTE]





Just out of interest can I ask why that is?

More people to worry about.

POPPYOSCAR

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

More people to worry about.

I think that is sad.


Life is a gamble. The benefits of loving outweigh the bad.


Grandchildren are a special kind of love.

duchy

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I hated all the grunt work that goes with looking after a baby or young child. Mind-stultifying drudgery, imho. The older my son got, the better I liked it.

You are seriously reminding me of my ex MIL. (I checked what part of the country you are in -you're not her )

She too did the work but made it clear she'd have preferred not to and liked her son better the older he got.........whether that contributed to his shortcomings as a parent I don't know - but hopefully you hide it better than she did !!

duchy

heuchera wrote: »

In fact one parent being neglectful or disinterested, and the other parent overcompensating for this, can lead to all sorts of problems. However it's important to bear in mind no-one has perfect parents or a perfect childhood, yet most of us manage!

Indeed but why go into any joint venture knowing in advance only one person in the partnership will be giving 100% ?

You wouldn't go into business with that scenario so why create a child knowing it ?

Person_one

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Lots of people have incredibly strong desires for all sorts of things - it doesn't mean that they shouldn't learn to adjust if life doesn't give them their desires.

I think that adjusting to what's possible in life is a sign of good mental health.

Surely one way to 'adjust' could be to seek a relationship where your desire is a possibility?

74jax

My hubby and I knew from the moment we met I would never have another child and he didn't want any.

We got married after 8 years and I remember clearly both discussing it again. I'm happy with DD now nearly 18, and he is happy with none of his own.

If he wanted a child, it wouldn't be with me, we'd have to split. I wouldn't deny him the right to be a dad, but I wouldn't be the one having his child.

LilElvis

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Lots of people have incredibly strong desires for all sorts of things - it doesn't mean that they shouldn't learn to adjust if life doesn't give them their desires.

I think that adjusting to what's possible in life is a sign of good mental health.

That might work with some desires, with some situations. It becomes a whole lot trickier not to harbour resentment when it isn't "life" that hasn't granted their desire for a child, but the person whose face is the last thing they see each night and the first thing they see each morning.

seven-day-weekend

duchy wrote: »

You are seriously reminding me of my ex MIL. (I checked what part of the country you are in -you're not her )

She too did the work but made it clear she'd have preferred not to and liked her son better the older he got.........whether that contributed to his shortcomings as a parent I don't know - but hopefully you hide it better than she did !!

hopefully my son never knew I felt like that.He would actually make a very good parent. He likes small children better than I do