Please tell me your husbands are more helpful than mine...

heuchera

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I am so fed up, each year my husband promises to help, and gives assurances he will be helpful.


Yet again I find myself dashing around getting everything ready in time for Christmas. Hosting for his family. Spare bedrooms set up, play room cleared and ready, massive food shop, cakes made, mincepies created, seating plans prepared, all the meals planned and prepared and where possible frozen and ready for the next two weeks of visitors. All the while keeping two children occupied on school holidays and keeping company a relative who has arrived early to avoid the public transport crush.


He works from home and said he would schedule himself around helping me, just do the odd bit of work to show he has been on duty today and yesterday.


Yet again, nothing! Did the dog walk and that was it.


His only task on the run up to this weekend was to get his office tidied ready to accommodate four beds for a children's dorm, when I went in to do the clean yesterday, I discovered nothing had been done, so spent last night when I was meant to be preparing one of the advanced meals shifting stuff around his office. No help from him yesterday, I said I needed help.


Despite asking on three separate occasions today for help he has done nothing. Now had a massive blow up where apparently I am being unreasonable.


Do I have the most useless husband on earth, please tell me your husbands are more helpful than this.


I am fed up being treated like the hired hand. I don't feel there is any respect. I am fed up putting all this effort in and having absolutely no assistance. I would much sooner cancel Christmas and help in a soup kitchen

You're probably too busy cooking to read this, lol, but you have made an awful lot of work for yourself. No wonder you're getting stressed. Can the guest who arrived early help you to cook the meals? I don't think it's your husband's fault, really.

Why not organise a few other people to help you? Mum/sister/aunts/cousins, etc. Don't feel you have to do it all on your own.

Homeownertobe

Person_one wrote: »

I hope he pays for the cleaner!

So he should pay for the housework, do the shopping, do the cooking and work full time?

You have a very strange definition of equality. You're single, aren't you?

heuchera

Oh dear, they're off..

Come on people, it's Christmas Eve. Let's try to keep the thread friendly.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Gigervamp wrote: »

Jojo, weigh the chicken and cook it for 20 minutes per 500g, plus an extra 20 minutes.

We don't have kitchen - or, more appropriately in this case, bathroom, scales.

I think I'll hack the backbone out with the assistance of OH and a BIG knife in the morning and hope for the best.

milliemonster

I think you're being unreasonable expecting your husband to clear his office and make it up as a children's dorm when he's WORKiNG!, if he went out to work for 9 hours a day you would have to do it yourself, it's no different, once he's finished working and broken up for the festive break then fair enough, but until then his workspace surely needs to remain that?

GlasweJen

Jojo do you have a slow cooker? Failing that fire it in the oven for an hour and a half, stab it in the fattest bit of the leg and if the juices are clear then it's done, any pink give it another 20 mins and repeat the stabbing, keep doing that until juices are clear.

swingaloo

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I am so fed up, each year my husband promises to help, and gives assurances he will be helpful.

This implies it has happened before so why on earth have you agreed to have all his family again?


Yet again I find myself dashing around getting everything ready in time for Christmas. Hosting for his family. Spare bedrooms set up, play room cleared and ready, massive food shop, cakes made, mincepies created, seating plans prepared, all the meals planned and prepared and where possible frozen and ready for the next two weeks of visitors. All the while keeping two children occupied on school holidays and keeping company a relative who has arrived early to avoid the public transport crush.

Play room suggests young children so its going to look like a bomb has gone off the minute resent opening starts so why bother tidying to an extreme.
But the cakes, buy mince pies, -why make extra work? If these are family then why do you need to make 2 weeks meals. Wont these visitors muck in and help because if they expect to sit and be waited on for 2 weeks I would show them the door. Get everyone to help on the day (I would expect to help if I was going to someone for Xmas) and let them sit where they like, you are putting far too much pressure on yourself.

He works from home and said he would schedule himself around helping me, just do the odd bit of work to show he has been on duty today and yesterday.


Yet again, nothing! Did the dog walk and that was it.


His only task on the run up to this weekend was to get his office tidied ready to accommodate four beds for a children's dorm, when I went in to do the clean yesterday, I discovered nothing had been done, so spent last night when I was meant to be preparing one of the advanced meals shifting stuff around his office. No help from him yesterday, I said I needed help.

No wonder he is not being co-operative if he was still working today but you were in there last night tidying up to get 4 beds in before he had finished using his office.


Despite asking on three separate occasions today for help he has done nothing. Now had a massive blow up where apparently I am being unreasonable.


Do I have the most useless husband on earth, please tell me your husbands are more helpful than this.


I am fed up being treated like the hired hand. I don't feel there is any respect. I am fed up putting all this effort in and having absolutely no assistance. I would much sooner cancel Christmas and help in a soup kitchen

To be fair you do sound as if you have repeatedly asked for help from him which has probably had the reverse effect and he has switched off. You mention his 'task and you having 'no assistance', it does sound like a military operation rather than a family friendly Christmas.

gizwal

It does sound as if OP is stressing out- mainly because she has given herself too much to do! If people are visiting, get them to chip in and help with cooking, tidying up etc! Buy cakes and mince pies. Cook the meat the day before and reheat on the day. Forget the `seating plan `(?) and let people sit where they want.
Op I know you might want to give everyone `the perfect Christmas` but it`s YOUR christmas day too- just relax and enjoy it!

As for hubby not helping-I know people who work from home and they say one of their biggest gripes is people thinking they can just drop everything and go out for a coffee or whatever- they still have to work. As previously mentioned, maybe a clear instruction on exactly what you wanted him to do in his study and by when would have helped, I know my OH isn`t good with vague hints!:)

Pollycat

gizwal wrote: »

I
As for hubby not helping-I know people who work from home and they say one of their biggest gripes is people thinking they can just drop everything and go out for a coffee or whatever- they still have to work. As previously mentioned, maybe a clear instruction on exactly what you wanted him to do in his study and by when would have helped, I know my OH isn`t good with vague hints!:)

I agree.
My OH worked from home & we had an agreement that it was like he was at work. The study door was closed & I would knock to ask if he wanted a coffee
The idea of doing a bit to show he was working was just not in his ethos.

meer53

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Cheers.

Can only have one because I'm off round the corner to pick up a few bits whilst he's making tonight's lasagne and some mega cheese straws (both are legendary parts of Christmas) - if I have any more than that, I'll come back with three bags of booze and no bacon for him to do the morning fry up.


By the way, does anybody have an idea of how long you should cook a chicken that weighs about the same as a Beagle? At least I think it's a chicken. It may be a baby Velociraptor.

Means I'm going to have to cook it before he does the roasties, veg and stuffing, as it won't all fit in the oven at the same time.


Somebody more militarily inclined would probably be at meltdown at this point. But at least we won't starve for about a fortnight. [shrug]

This made me laugh so much (and the fact you posted it twice !)

Baby Velociraptor curry is the "in" thing this Xmas you know. Mainly because there's always loads left. I'd just hack it into portions to be fair.

I'm having "just the one" for now, No1 son wants a lift to the boozer to meet his mates for their annual Xmas Eve get together. But i will be partaking of a couple more when i get back in about half an hour or so. He's introduced me to Brew Dog IPA, it's very moreish so i'll decline the Vodka for now ta xx